All Frankie Cosmos lyrics, ever.
Pretty much. Excluding some bonus tracks & songs that I re-recorded without any changes to lyrics.
Including stolen lyrics and/or covers.
Not including collaborations/co-writes.
Basically just copy pasted from my bandcamp, so that they can all live on one page somewhere.
Different Talking
(June 27st, 2025)
You pressed into me like a flower amongst words
Done growing and willing to be preserved
The month fucking escapes me
Like all that time you spent trying to make me
Unknow myself
And suddenly it’s gone
Sitting beside air
On the train tonight to visit you
At your job which makes you cry
But I like the way the tears fill up your eyes
Now it’s an imprint
The world is sticky with it
When I pass our old building
I wish they would rip it down
And suddenly it’s gone
Like the ice that dried in my hair
I will never love you again
I can't even remember when
I still don’t know what I want
I’ll take one of each
No gravity
There is nothing to hold on to me
I am on the platform plugging my ears
(Plugging my ears)
Hold a tote bag filled with other tote bags
(Other tote bags)
My body rent goes up for my soul
(Rent for my soul)
Sorry I’m late I was writing a poem
I don’t know what to do I
(I don’t)
Don’t know what to do I don’t
(Know what)
Know what to do I don’t know
(To do)
What to do I don’t know what
I am on the platform plugging my ears
(Plugging my ears)
Hold a tote bag filled with other tote bags
(Other tote bags)
My body rent goes up for my soul
(Rent for my soul)
Sorry I’m late I was writing a poem
I don’t know what to do I
(I don’t)
Don’t know what to do I don’t
(Know what)
Know what to do I don’t know
(To do)
What to do I don’t know what
I still don’t know what I want
I’ll take one of each
No gravity
There is nothing to hold on to me
I used to get down
But now I really like to be alone
I’m an orange leaf alone on the intersection, asking questions
Oh sorry tune, I’ll follow you against the grain
It’s not my time, to cross the line, I keep living
I follow course
Am I just warped against the grain?
Three two one and climb the fence
Or was it just a shallow grave?
Trying to take it in while I’m here
Trying to feel the awe, the fear
If I want to see the light
I might just make it out alive
One more day to find out
A very funny back and forth and around
I miss my desk
With my all my stuff on it
And I miss my shelf
With all my shit laid out
And I miss who I was
Only because
I can’t go a day without touching my fucking telephone
I’m watching the goosebumps retract
Watch the hair fall flat against my skin
I’m watching the goosebumps retract
Watch the hair fall flat against my skin
I’m watching the goosebumps retract
Watch the hair fall flat against my skin
I’m watching the goosebumps retract
Watch the hair fall flat against my skin
My bitch heart is aflutter, it can be such a fucker
My bitch heart is aflutter, it can be such a fucker
I
think it’s funny not to learn my lesson
And keep on acting like I’m twenty seven
I love it when my baby’s phone is charged
By accident I ate your air pods
I don’t wanna die for you, music
Not yet, I’m not willing to lose it
If it's a mindset
I think I'm stuck in it
You know I have to go
I’m porcelain, you forced it
You know because you broke
A promise, I saw it
Oh, unrecognizable street
With a brow salon where formerly
Emptiness reigned
It’s never the same
Get cured, or get a diary
God makes me
Trick my body, near constantly
I’m switching
Deodorants and medications
It’s never the same
I’m from a country known
For big drinks and small words
It’s the safest place in the world
Just kidding
One day left on this library book i am 42% through
My reflexes are shaking
Like playing whack-a-mole with scabies
I stand in front of the fire and think about my
One! grey! hair!
Shake out my veins briefly
And we can all agree
That time is both frozen and moving faster than we can see
I send texts planning phone calls which never occur
I set the table and try to channel whatever
My brain would be doing if it were more fluid
What is it about drugs that makes you want to own them?
Heartbreaker just means heartthrob sometimes
That if you can make my heart throb, you can break it too
“The facts: I felt betrayed” reads
The only journal entry i’ve written in days
The idea of growing up doesn’t even cross my mind
Another symptom of insanity
Another victim of your reckless vanity
Oh to be a statistic in your fantasy
It was the perfect crime
You caught me at the perfect time
Where you could make me tell a lie
I hate it here
I know, I know
(I know you know)
I know, I know
(I know you know)
Oh Jupiter
Did you crawl away from her
Did you call again to hear
That it's all over
(It's over)
Another symptom of insanity
Another victim of your reckless vanity
Oh to be a statistic in your fantasy
I know, I know
(I know you know)
I know, I know
(I know you know)
Oh Jupiter
Did you crawl away from her
Did you call again to hear
That it's all over
(It's over)
When you peel away the layers of paint
I just wanna stay in bed all day
It’s hard to stay in touch
Don’t ask for too much
Every time that I am in a rage
Someone else was born to be on stage
Every time I’m filled with tears
It’s a funeral for my wasted years
It’s contrast with someone else filled with ideas
Not again, not a-fucking-gain
I swear to God
I pray to God
It's not long
I swear to God
I pray to God
It’s not long
I pray to God
It’s not long
Margareta she recalls its true
Into her calendar she pencils you
You’ll be waiting
For confirmation
Forever
Margareta rolling down the street
Her old jalopy with its bangs and creaks
With her jacket
Hanging
In the backseat
And lipstick on her teeth
What a vision you’ve been waiting to see
Everybody’s clamoring
“Margareta, it’s me!”
Margareta, it’s me!
Okay fine
I’ll make you mine
One two three four five six seven eight
I don’t remember that last November
The day passed me by
Paint you a villain ‘cause that’s what makes me
Worthy of loving
I think it's not your fault
I must’ve been a lot to take on
And now you never call
But there is stuff I want
Your take on too
Paint you a villain
‘Cause that’s what makes me
Worthy of loving
I think it's not your fault
I must’ve been a lot to take on
And now you never call
But there is stuff I want
Your take on too
Moth in the mirror
Little corner of the alley
Leaf plastered to the sidewalk
Reflective puddle
Translucent feather
It’s a high five not a handshake I know
It’s a high five not a handshake I know
You got the TV on
I’m in the pile of trash room
Hock a looey on the curb
Just like you used to
Pull your hair back slow
Suck the smoke in fast though
Cigar man on the stoop
Has been telling the truth y’know
I saw you sitting back there
You made it like a cash sale
But it’s a handshake
No it’s a high five
It’s a high five not a handshake though
It’s a handshake not a high five though, oh
Nicole, I thought you’d make me whole
You are the glue that holds together the poem
And Cheryl you will never know that I know
You said
How could you ever stop being friends?
That you would never stop loving them
But I guess
That rule doesn’t apply to me
The form of you that only I recall
Is long gone
I stopped holding on
And who lives?
Who could ever know what I know?
You said
How could you ever stop being friends?
That you would never stop loving them
But I guess that rule doesn’t apply to me
You become
Somebody that I do not love
Get heavy inside my heart
I find that it is hard to know
The right way to explain
Brigitte Brigitte, Elijah
I’m falling asleep, beside ya
We blew the budget on a studio
Now we got nothing for a video
I’m at a restaurant in the bike lane
Haven’t you heard that's where everything
Takes place these days?
Brigitte Brigitte, Elijah
I’m falling asleep, beside ya
You must have thought that I had died
But I was on a joyride
I want to stay in your eyeline
The way blue stays in the skyline
Joyride, not mine
You're in a truck, I'm on a bike
How could we know just what it's like?
Tomorrow
I play a show
I agreed to play
There’s no backing away though
I love you but why you never wanna dance?
Don’t you wanna get down with us?
I forget the day I gave up
A slice of thigh immaculate
Everywhere I go a silhouette
Of myself is left behind
I’m at home
There’s no Joejoe
Is it really home?
Or is heaven though?
It’s not how I’d always pictured it
You’d hold my hand and that’s the end of it
Don’t you wanna help me
Bring this thing about?
I’ve hardly got anyone left
And I don’t want to play my set
Even if you could catch it
What would we talk about?
You asked me if I’d regret it
But you were asking a kid
Might change your mind when you’re older
Or just wish you could forget it
Not that I’m trying to play it up
But know I might come off a little nuts
Can’t keep a secret and call it love
Can’t see your face without throwing up
I’m older now than before
My wonderland keeps the score
More solid now than before
My wonderland keeps the score
My wonderland keeps the score
I know myself even more
Find ways to find myself beautiful
Toughen up and stick to my rituals
I know it might seem ridiculous
But no one forced you to listen to this
I hold it every day
It never goes away
I’m older now than before
My wonderland keeps the score
Yesterday I felt like I would never have my life back
Today I don’t remember ever feeling like that
I keep my mystical in tact
I don’t hate you, I just
Hate the way, you
Make me feel
Spent the day with GK
It was amazing, we did nothing
Who knew it could be like this
Gotta get a solid look, take it in
I find it easy to notice
But there’s no word for it
The air swirling in that familiar way
Tell myself I can’t tell anybody
Yesterday I felt like I would never have my life back
Today I don’t remember ever feeling like that
Like that
Like that
Damn this city
Everything’s a
Pothole or a
Restaurant
And smells like pot
I forgot
Not everybody wants what I want
Not everybody’s thoughts are my thoughts
And my loss isn’t everybody’s loss
Here’s what we have
What we have made
And it feels like water on my face
At the end of the day
It’s sunset here
What's it for you?
How'd they get the pink light to
Come out like that?
Musicians for a Free Palestine
(April 16 2024)
a ton of pods hold no peas
but then some hold exactly three
the boxer hates his fate
a bloody face
like a movie seen too young
lovingly, wisdom is a scam
experience only seems to weary
and for every witness in the know
it's all just a shit show
and for a every witness in the know
it's just a shit show
Hilda: Season 3 (Original Series Soundtrack)
(Dec 7th, 2023)
Held the sunlight in my eyes
Wore the woods like a disguise
Still, the path that we crossed was uncrossed yet
Felt the ground under our feet
Crossed the trails under the streets
I know I am protected
When we are connected
Big bite of air
Clench my teeth around it
A thrill, it said, "Do not enter"
We went in anyway, together
Still, notice the danger
Anyway, we gather
The stars spread out glittery
The town tumbles into a city
In the woods, the leaves are getting thick
I've got a good feeling about this
I've got a good (in the woods)
(The leaves are getting thick) feeling about this
(Fool waiting for you) I've got a good (in the woods)
(The leaves are getting thick) feeling about this
(Fool waiting for you) I've got a good (in the woods)
(The leaves are getting thick) feeling about this
I've got a good (in the woods)
(The leaves are getting thick) feeling about this
I've got a good (in the woods)
(The leaves are getting thick) feeling about this
I've got a good feeling about this
For Palestine
(November 15, 2023)
Working means only processing after 6pm and on the weekend
Saturday comes and I deep dive, hard drives and emails
Trying to connect the crumbs
Everything stops
it feels irreverent to have thoughts
Are our bodies only clocks?
Suddenly Emily’s text “I love you sooo much”
clicks for me
fuck!
The Eleventh Hour: Songs for Climate Justice
(October 28th, 2022)
You don’t have to apologize
for every interaction
if you try to just be kind
you’ll find it’s just a fraction of them that you get wrong
did you make it home?
would you let me know
let me know
You’re always a treat
make me feel like me, age 14
Every pencil that ever touched paper
left an imprint on my table
and I can still read every word
I protect my eyes from it all the time
all the time
And I avert my gaze from them every day
every day
Inner World Peace
(October 21st, 2022)
I’m just trying to know what I
wanna die surrounded by
Of all the books I’m halfway through
I could build a staircase up to you
Half a memory is tugging at me
Abigail I want you be
alive with me
Can’t believe who I used to be
What did i see in you? or you in me?
It’s good sometimes to cut her slack
that version of myself I don’t want back
if I die right now I need you to see
Abigail I want you to be alive with me
Being jaded and being aware
Poised on opposite sides of the scale
Try to get in the right mindset
But it isn’t there
It isn’t fair
Thought I saw that the labyrinth
Turned out to just be on a grid
Geometry came in handy
but it was just for me
me
Aftershook after the aftershock
Aftershook everybody’s staring at us now
Aftershook everyone thinks you are just a clown
But nobody is saying to stop
Nobody is saying to stop
Stop
By the time I wake up, you’ll be long gone
Like a fruit stand in the evening
I pass on the left
Everybody’s left
If it’s raining and I can’t feel it, is it raining?
Love is a translucent sheet hovering above concrete
Both reflective and clear, beautiful with anything its near
When it shatters, nothing matters
There’s all these pieces but apart they have no meaning
If it’s raining and I can’t feel it
Is it raining?
The psychic told me that
I was only there 'cause
I needed a friend
and she held my hand
And she told me that
I was gonna change but she
didn’t know what way.
What a bust
Everything is telling me that
I’m regressing at light speed
I don’t still play the guitar every day
ask me how I am and I won’t really say
I got a weeks worth of questions
But you answer them all with a glance
I could have seen it coming
but I left it up to chance
I had a magnetic personality once
But I got too tired to keep it up
(single tear, single tear, single tear, must be nice)
I was raised in writing love songs for someone I hate
Now when I write a real one it feels like fate
I try to relax my face,
in case I make it to old age
But you got me smiling all the time
My eyes go so wide
I was always afraid of starting talking
'Cause I know there’s no way of ever stopping,
There is no way of fitting everything in
Not everything you say
has got to let them know something deeper about you
Forgot a bunch of parts of me back then
I want you around while I’m remembering
Like in 1st grade how I went by Wayne
I always had another name
My heart aches at every throb
renovate my brain while it’s dreaming
Vision was painting with clay
an enormous cafeteria tray
What a way to examine how you felt
to converse is the inverse of it
Slow train I’ll never take again
to sing harmonies with someone who’s not even my friend
but I’ll always call it as it is
Though it gets harder to see it
You never know what they’re feeling
The urge to hit snooze on everything
My heart aches at every throb
Some sky magnet has me in its pull, unearths me
I’m just trying to stand on my feet
Power down
I'm pink like a candy heart from
trying to keep up
running towards running to running after
you
Not quite sure what
I am looking for
There are guides out here
They're knocking at my door
You take
a work call
I close my eyes
and feel the wind
on my lids!
It’s not too late
To say goodbye
Again & again & again again
Empty head
It’s cool to have nothing in it
It’s ok not to sing a song
about everything
all the time
But if I did
I’d fill up all the server farms
I’d fill up all the iPhone clouds
I’d fill up all the hard drives
So I should keep an empty head
Fill myself up with emptiness
And try to just take a breath
sometimes
I’m always bursting at the seams
I’ll tell you all about my dreams
I wish that I could quiet it
accept a little silence
maybe one day I’ll find it
and I’ll toe the line
I pick you like a coffee cup
You thought that I could pick you up
But I don’t even have a car
I’m taking you right where we are
I’m at the bottom of the road
You’re looking like the line I toed
You’re at me like an antelope
I’m swaying like a grassy knoll
It’s the first time I spoke today
and that’s why when you heard me say
Hello I sounded like a frog
I thought that I could pet the dog
But it just wasn’t up to me
I hid behind the neighbor's tree
But he wouldn’t come out to play
I guess I’ll try another day
It’s all to keep an empty head
It’s cool to have nothing in it
It’s ok not to sing a song
About everything
All the time
We can never go back
what you believe goes fast
My heart meets a sea, immense
The night comes smaller, intense
Freaking out across the trees
Now, love
Now I see
But I’m a guitar gone too far
You facing the floor every day
Prettiness that transformed nothing
Here’s your chance to stop flirting with a nightmare
The winds air-dried
another world for you
It's about more than just a
different shape of the puzzle
Time and space
a translucent weight
invisible 'til they fade away
Over and over
Once or forever
Protect the softer
It didn’t matter
I have enough quiet for a landscape
You can view the tunnel in a goblet
You feel like a slowing ocean
One day we could leave these fragments completely
Prolonging babyhood
I don’t wanna feed myself
Don’t wanna think about the future
Put my training wheels back on
And pour the milk in my coffee
Rip the serifs right off my lettering
I don’t wanna feel strongly
Don’t feel strong enough
for unnamed scenarios
How can you love so much
Mac n cheese, feed me broccoli
I miss you early summer I hear the cue
Feelings are just feelings before the theory starts
Prolonging babyhood, I don’t wanna feed myself
Don’t wanna think about the future
I feel like scored clay
Rough unless I attach myself to you
I see your face
in the Christmas magazine, in a candy cane
I am going to start letting you
put spinach in my eggs
It's obvious I'm Olive Oyl and you're Popeye
I'm not worried about the rest of my life
because you are here today
I go back in time
I'm a cast iron
What about the sweet
glazed streets of your
ho-hum hometown?
There I sat in warm-enough shade
do you miss that reckless life?
Maybe I’m asking myself
It is only fair
to ask myself too
you don’t love me?
that’s okay, god
loves me, target
loves me, gap loves
me, you will be
so successful
you’ll buy new friends!
Counting down the days of the week
Ever since I decided to freak out on Friday
What a sight to see before 1pm me
listening to 2007 indie, exercising
It’s still Wednesday, I have to wait
two more sleeps 'til I can freak out on Friday
Counting sheep ‘til my turn to speak
I’m super bummed I have to go
I guess I’ll see you after though
When I freak out on Friday
When I freak out on Friday
what a sight to see before 1am me
listening to 2019 Frankie
I felt so tragic
Today on Google Maps just
circling the block and seeing where we met
I was making such progress
Now there’s new stuff to process
Seems like it’s an imperfect art
hope it doesn’t fall apart
falling out my body
Decade later oddly
clinging to the poles
break it in half it’s whole
Judy says i'm Trini to the bone
Over the phone we’re both dancing alone
make a list in an iPhone note
Look at it when I’m feeling low
But I’d rather write a poem
I think everything's a cult
Sometimes you just have to laugh
at the facts
Selfishly
I don’t want what I see
To be a prophecy
Though it doesn’t scare me
I just think it would be a waste to die so fast
and it might make some people sad
But they will figure out life after me
There will be some return to
normalcy
The story spreads itself out so suddenly I can hardly read what I’m picturing
Did he just do it so you’d know his name?
Or was he really just filled with hate?
What I imagine when I close my eyes
It would really make my momma cry
And what I feel when I sing...it would really leave you wondering
Why can I see it so vividly?
Slow motion, hyper-speed
Broken glass, bloody mess
I know I said something different before
but spare the guitar!
Water and a sweater vest
I am doing my best
Will it always be like this?
All I can do is heed the call
when you put it out with power
you know I’ll follow
I just wanna feel normal
I’m not the same as I was before
CLEAN WEIRD PRONE BONUS TRACK
Tonight I let myself cry
I wish I could know why
Now I sit chest is shaken
It is starting again
Fuck it, you're gonna make me say it
You broke my heart and I'll never be the same it
Hurts like fuck and, you ruined everything
Single tear
Single tear
Single tear
Must be nice
I need to find a finish line
I need eternal quiet time
Must be nice for you to pass it by
Drop in for a moment, but not even know it
I let the loss live
I don't think it's ever stopping
You just gotta let the loss live
Integrate it
Better to hate you
Than to miss you
Better to forget you
Than forgive you
I thought I loved you
But I lived you
You were the goggles that I saw through
Now I live far off
I get sentimental but it's not much
Tonight I walked past our old date spot
And what you used to call "the rat block"
I'm a believer 'cause my bikes got pegs and streamers
I learned from the best to use spit and shine it on my chest
Am I allowed to be high all weekend if I wasn't the day before?
I am me
I was then also me way back when
Am I allowed to be high all weekend if I wasn't the day before?
I am me
I was then
Also me
Way back when
Hack E saCk (COle Montminy video score)
Scoop it up
Spin it ‘round
kick some dirt up from the ground
it’s heaven!
hackeysack
I could pass it back and forth like this
forever!
Good Music to Avert the Collapse of American Democracy
(A compilation that was available for 24 hours in September 2020)
Another Piece (unavailable to stream)
on a fresh paved road
i walk by your old home
i used to go there all the time
and you would go to mine
where your kitchen table was i see a new one
and a coat slumped over a chair it looks so much like despair
after everything
I can’t believe you’re asking for another piece
and another piece and another piece and another piece and another piece
take a second to walk around, and i live here now
i wish you well but I can’t tell
if it’s just a wish for myself
but i know I can’t let you back in cause i’m still packing
i tried meditating
i tried annotating
i tried hypnotizing
i tried vaporizing
Great Scraps
(July 3, 2020)
we designed the phone
not to encourage anyone
to look inward
empty the governed of expectation
the years fly by without you and some day i will doubt you ever were around
the memories are fading i just have to keep waiting
water to sky hair to lips,
i get it now! after all of this
it never rains like this anymore
should i put deodorant on or my blazer with the condom in the pocket & i wear my ring
i’m in the pew, you’re in the aisle as god taps on the mic and says
“is this thing on?”
i told that jerk to HOLD MY CALLS!
i love you a lot but everyone else on this planet is a idiot
i love you a lot but everyone else on this planet is a idiot
if you are what you stand up for
it can’t help me understand more
me me me me me me me me me me me me
‘cause the trees let the leaves fall
and they don’t move at all
and i’m the same
lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame
i won’t always be able to hear what you say
i’ve gotta leave anyway
oh god i’ll be away
away away away away
sometimes i just wanna be called by name
i wanna know if you met me today you would love me the same
same same same same same
i’m losing days so fast i shake my head ’til it explodes
it is strange to know that only a few weeks ago
i was looking through chair legs, a kid at an adults party
we smiled at each other across an invisible boundary
i find love in the decisions
i dip into my stomach like i’m at a bat mitzvah making a wax hand
the walls between the worlds grew thin
and I felt everything
i’m not mother earth i
require blue light. i
strew garbage. i write
grocery lists, make appointments.
i’m stunted in my growth. i hate to hear the truth.
my skin is filled with dust. i smear creams on my
fine lines. i swear it’s not my
time!
adam and eve are trying weed
in quarantine with fancy cheese
it’s not like i’m giving up just
that i never tried to begin with
Oh great scraps of new york, call me up
Ribbons, letters tie your knots around my legs
Pistachio shells and shells of eggs
Single rides, coffee lids, signs of life
Lost shoes, mittens, waving in the wind
All the love in the world is getting in touch with me
Reaching across unrelenting car horns
I kiss the feet of traffic lights
The yellow is my sun, it tells us to speed up and slow down
We sail a sea of scratch-offs drained of hope
We spread salt on the snow
Make it like a soft pretzel
i’m new york my dog wears shoes
What are you? What are you?
a soft dog fuzzes out
like the river cold spikes up
how a good song brings out in you
what you could never say but still doesn’t give you the words to
of course i let the wind whip the tears out of me
or maybe it is a dream
you’ve been over it for quite some time
it’s news to me that you’re not mine
but i don’t care ‘cause deep inside
i always knew but had to try
Ouch, as usual
I'm here unheld
It's not weird I felt alone all along
In the fog, in your songs
So now I feel real in touch right here
You don’t know or care
Like before it's not even strange
I feel happy I feel full my life is completely in control
sex is cool but have you heard of:
if i hadn’t discovered it i could have been
a leaf doctor?
i’ve got eyes for day but I just waste ‘em on darting around
and the only thing I've found is i’d rather be at home
i busted some capillaries over you
i even lost a friend or two
oh lexie
you don’t even know the best me
oh lexie
i wanna give you the best me
oh the sentence he said it got stuck in my head
and i think that i let it define me for years
now i’m filled up with lies and they’re making me cry
when i lie down flat they fall to one side
well i’m taking a stance against the devil’s glass
where i don’t look in it but i want to exist
oh devil’s glass, oh waterpark
it’s everything, it’s vivian
i watch your step
you see me cry
you send it back
i wonder why am i
just not tough enough
watch me closely, no lessons
nothing learned no forgetting
maybe
if i were a kid
and that fear, that panic which swells
in ladies’ stomachs and fills powder rooms with sweat
which leads us back to powder rooms
and then to dinner which we cannot taste through the panic
so you can either needle point your life away
or you can throw the hair dryer in the bath tub
everyday i break into this place
and i break everything that i face
am i sick or is life just this lame
eat and shit, let it all drip and ache
walk on in and fuck everything up
should i be allowed near anyone?
and i’m not even sure about this body
where it lies when i’m not in it
i tried meditating
i tried annotating
i tried hypnotizing
i tried vaporizing
i’m home take off my watch
its easier to wash my hands without it
i’m sad that you don’t believe in love
thought if anything could change that it was us
smoke it to the filter, throw away the key
give it all away or give it all to me
the difference between justice and revenge
is there's no justice in the end
in a smaller town than you tonight
i wanna lose my cool with you
i wanna fight
i got plastered with a prophet when i thought i was straight
your glow gone rotten through and now i’m gay
part of me so intensely yours
parts left are meant to be mine sometimes
losing them seems not to matter
just because i say it well it
doesn’t make it so doesn’t make it so
make it like a song erase the
wondering and woe wondering and woe
where are you now? where are you now?
where are you now? where are you now?
elbow like a pillow but you’ll
never understand, thought you were my friend
face it in the stairway, stare it right in the face
every single day, never get away
you come out as often as the stars do, its hard to
follow the blue rain that hits my windows, so do you
where are you now? where are you now?
where are you now? where are you now?
feelings are feelings boo follow your twister before it follows you
Waste the whole summer away
Sitting at a cafe
Drinking some iced coffee
I never write anything
Everyones asking me
I say I’ve been busy
I play sudoku
I never told you
That’s all I ever do
waste the whole weekend away
Trying to watch tv
I say I am busy
you’re the one who knows
my favorite place
you can feel what’s on my face
i like what i see in the mirror it’s me
you like it too, you can feel the truth
i’ll see you in two weeks
i’ll kiss your pink cheeks
at a museum or library we could get so solitary
in the beauty do you like to be so alone with me?
winters gonna be long
i can feel it as i write this one
we could be so warm if you would just come home
it’s a lie that if you stay in you can’t go out on a limb
i don’t wanna love anyone who isn’t you
but also i’m just afraid to
with everything to prove
i ungracefully move
when did i become this latest version?
still just as pubescent (as ever)
loneliness as incessant (as ever)
ronnie won’t you give me a present (ever?)
just say i dooooo
just say i do
i do too
theres nothing wrong with it
i’m just throwing it out
nothing there to try to fix
you would just let me down
i was just being fake
when i said i hope you’re good
didn’t tell you how i am
didn’t think you would
you want monogamy
just to control me
it’s not about love
you hardly know me
you
me
water and a sweater vest
i am doing my best
will it always be like this?
all i can do is heed the call
when you put it out with power
you know i’ll follow
i just wanna feel normal
i’m not the same as i was before
God, man
She’s always doing experiments on me
but I’m a scrap next to her real art I think
she made the sky, coffee, pain, equilibrium
Really nice curves on that lake that she did
Really sweet warmth beside me when you come back to bed
All the time I’m looking around
A real artist makes you feel sometimes like She made it all for you
my heart aches at every throb
renovate my brain while it’s dreaming
Vision was painting with clay
an enormous cafeteria tray
what a way to examine how you felt
to converse is the inverse of it
slow train i’ll never take again
to sing harmonies with someone who’s not even my friend
but i’ll always call it as it is
though it gets harder to see it
you never know what they’re feeling
the urge to hit snooze on everything
my heart aches at every throb
some sky magnet has me in its pull, unearths me
i’m just trying to stand on my feet
i’m just trying to know what i wanna die surrounded by
of all the books i’m halfway through i could build a staircase up to you
half a memory is tugging at me
abigail i want you to be alive with me
i feel something for ya
it’s hard to ignore ya
i’m winning around ya
i’m lucky i found ya
you’re making me late
all ‘cause i hate to say goodbye
i tuck myself into your eyelids and skin too
i’m comfy within you
you think i’m a furnace
but isn’t it worth it to sweat all night to be close
Close It Quietly
(September 6, 2019)
The world is crumbling and I don't have much to say
We say goodbye
"goodbye"
Go slow like the train
I hope you know you're not nothing
We've got everything to gain
And I know it's not the same
I'm not in the world that way
At least that's what I'm trying
It's just pancakes on a stove
It's rock and roll
And roll
Cause I'm the moon and you are the sea
You always seem sad underneath me
All fires go out later, some burn a bit greater, but it's all just fire on my ass telling me love myself better
Your windows glisten yellow in the sunset
I got teary looking at the sky again
Rivers fill the sewers underneath you
I wanna be beneath you too
Each leaf blowing never even knowing what it was like to be stuck onto a tree
Two white doggies do not know each other
Both of them are holding something pink inside them
You're inching up at a red light
I look straight into your 6 eyes
You can break me up but you can't keep me aside
Like a leaf you shred in two has gotta keep on living through years to come
When I need to be made to feel small, and I call you but you're not picking up, I just go to the cosmic shop
Does anyone wanna hear the 40 songs I wrote this year?
Had a dream based on reality
You were being really mean to me
For what it's worth I wish I was the earth
Every time I'm remembering what you were
I close my eyes every time and I wonder why
(Why? Why? Why? Why?)
I look at the branches and hold a mirror up
They're looking at me and say "you don't have a comb, do ya?"
I'm trying to sit still between the chatter
Holding me together is that I'll be seeing you after
Glimmering lips give you away
You've got nothing to say
Try to recall if it ever felt like this
Turning around to this stranger that I'm with
I only want something comforting
I am everyone you'll never meet
I am every book you'll never read
I am the picture that didn't come out
I am the story stuck inside of your mouth
The sky is so blue, it makes everything else blue
The trucks, the stones, the view
I am so blue, I make everyone else blue
My friends, my enemies, you
I am so blue, I make everyone else blue
My friends, my enemies, you
(1, 2)
It's just a joke I wasn't trying to tell
What the hell?
I do not know what I am for
I wasn't really keeping score
It wasn't really a game
Flowers don't grow in an organized way
Why should I?
A bowl of sugar and some flower stems
Their spikes growing
I wanted to come from a painting
An abstraction
Calling up Time and waiting on the line
Til I finally say "I quit, baby"
It's just a joke I wasn't trying to tell
What the hell?
I still don't know what I am for
I wasn't really keeping score
It wasn't really a game
Flowers don't grow in an organized way
Why should I?
I see now that it was wrong, so wrong, to try to hold on to a falling tree:
One that wouldn't even look at me,
Whose sticks were all arranged so evenly,
Who wasn't holding arms out lovingly
Humiliate your family
Just 'cause you wanna stand with me
I think your ring means more than our thing
The day after I decide to end it all
I go for a walk and it feels like everything
Is planted to tell me
not to
do it
Oh how I wish we never met
Oh baby I was all alone in it
Now I see that I was always me underneath everything I ever tried to be
Now i see that there is always you turning up in everything I do
My body's sending out some shit
And I cannot keep track of it
I remember feeling like aliens
We were cotton balls dipped in sand
Isn't it weird how we have grown so far apart?
Now I don't know you at all, you're just a name on my g-chat bar
Joejoe you were in my dream, alive and facing away from me
I don't know how to feel, everybody's acting weird
Actin' weird actin' weird actin' weird actin' weird
I still like looking out windows
I know how to forgive those
sceneries for surrounding me
but you did it differently
I don't know how with you though I'd really like to
I'm waiting for you to become
something I heard somewhere once
I want guidance, direction
even for just a second
Spit out diamonds, cough up rubies
Call me when you can see through me
Spit out diamonds, cough up rubies
Call me when you can see through me
Do I have regrets? Certainly
Mostly the fantasy
I let it encircle me
But you did it differently
Do I bounce? I bounce back
Aimless maybe but a worthy task
The slow leak, slow drain
Or: never notice you're boiling
But the fill up is quick
You just have to wait for it
Spit out diamonds, cough up rubies
Call me when you can see through me
Spit out diamonds, cough up rubies
Call me when you can see through me
It'd make a good song to miss you
But I really don't at all
If you were any good I'd sing
"Oh babyyyy why'd you have to goooo"
It'd make a good song to go see you
I'd say "don't worry about him, we're just friends, it doesn't mean nothin" and he'd say "oh baby please don't go, stay here with me and hang out"
But it's not a song
(But it's not a song) And I never would
Way up high and fucked
Not violent enough to self-destruct
But I wanna stop being in this life
Late at night we dive into the light
Your eyes swing shut like an orange peel but
It's just gravity making me tired, weighing me
the cloud so big and dark
foams up around my heart
the pointed arms of trees
saying "this is where the cloud is"
road wet with yellow lines
and shadows of cars & planes
it's been forever but it's whatever
I'm here for you and I would never
forget you
forget you
you are the best but your will is less
strong than the rest so you just rest
we go together like cymbal and snare
held back and thrust together again
it's miraculous that humans are here
we built ourselves or god is real
and we ended up with eyes and ears
and dreams and science and love and fears
i'm crying here
in the backseat
our home is far
away, empty
and you love me
and you love me
and love is a miracle
cause life's a dream
Prada red and Matisse blue
far yet, close together like me and you
i'm almost there (I'm almost there)
i'm almost there (I wanna go back)
i wanna go back (I'm almost there)
i want to go back (I wanna go back)
where can you put yourself that makes sense (I'm almost there)
i'm worried that i might forget (I wanna go back)
i'm almost there (I'm almost there)
i'm almost there (I wanna go back)
i wanna go back (I'm almost there)
i want to go back (I wanna go back)
if i had a choice
i'd listen to your voice
all day while I'm gone
telescope straight to your song
I'm following it even though it is not what I expected
I don't know if it's me or I'm it but I cannot regret it
When it's all over I don't
When it's all over I don't know what
When it's all over I don't know what happened to me
The air hangs in the air
I don't care if you don't care
I care that I care
When it's all over I don't
When it's all over I don't know what
When it's all over I don't know what happened to me
You're the trunk of a tree
Silent, filled with clarity
I am a point in time
Moving slow along a line
You hit just below the note
Oh to be a fly on the wall of your throat
God I'd love to climb inside your brain
Remember what it's like to be less vain
I'd close your eyes and see anything
Even just some memory
how can i still feel so unstrong
when so much more could have been wrong?
i still hate every moment where people i thought i knew
laughed in my face like there was nothing they could do
the news is excruciating
how'd the world get so devastating?
I'm just fucking glad for my bubble
despite how often it is penetrated
by evil
i remember when i figured out everything was the same
walking around seeing building after building
but all those things you hear about
They only happen to other people
it doesn't happen to me
not me
wouldn't be caught dead
in last season's textures
our heads are filled up
staying true to the pressure
We never talked about a thing, never went through it
Even though I knew you weren't feeling true to me
The train crawls like our phone calls
I let it go on far too long
I would've let it go on forever
In the window my reflection will show
It has grown since you have known it
Right after this I might ask for it
Babe you know I'd climb under your fence for 25 cents
I know it's bad but you know I would
15 dogs on a wall, 10 seltzers deep in it all
Check the eggs that none are cracked
I know you can remember that
I wish I could forgive myself for letting it happen
As fast as you forgave yourself for your actions
Selfish as you are cannot be undone
You wouldn't let me let myself become a person
Diamond in your throat
Is it in my dreams?
Maybe see you there
Facing away from me
I'm lying next to you in the strong grass
The car pushes by fast and the clouds are just gas
Everything I know
Picked up by a UFO
maybe you too
Do I know you?
I want it so bad that I hate it so much
Are you for or against? Well maybe I'm both
Maybe I'm both
Maybe I'm both
I might go to the party at the house tonight
But maybe I won't
Maybe I won't
Burn the coffee
One for taste
Gotta watch it go to waste
You wanna be loved (you wanna be loved?)
Do you wanna be seen (do you wanna be seen?)
You wanna be hated you wanna be mean
We both know it's all the same
Doesn't matter which way you swing
Sometimes I wanna extend, sometimes the pain is so immense it's churning me out
But then you turn around
I'm a lover
I give light
I was never made to fight
Oh darling I wanna give you all my marbles
You're a perfect planet I want to inhabit
You're in the corner of my eye
Can you tell I'm wondering why
does it feel like I have known you my whole life?
Did you find
Did you find that in this one we are meant to keep passing each other by?
Are you smiling at me or you baring your teeth?
I'll always have a tender feeling towards the me that loved the you
I wouldn't recognize you from behind even if the front of you were my palm
Lean over, fake tender
Like I feel like a man in my dreams
Like I like how I look with you in my arms, or
I like how you look in my arms, or
I like to look at my arms, or
Look at me, my arms are yours
I wanna be all arms
I wanna be all yours
There's a diamond in your throat
If you leave your light on it was always up to me
Every song is a hit
If you pretend to understand it
It's fine but I don't mind when it's not fine
I go far though I don't know where to go
with great purpose
I get nervous
Nervous
My heart is as sharp as a sonnet
I could crack an egg right on it
Honest
Every time I should've said so
gets stuck inside of this "no"
Nooooo
I'm back on my crying
Every day I'm dying to let some water out my body
And into the world around me
You didn't look at me at all
And i just stared at the wall
The whole time
I'm like a dandelion
Just a little bit of breath blows me apart
Just standing here seems like a good start for me to cry
'cause I'm back on my crying
Every day I'm dying to let some water out my body
And into the world around me
It never stops, this swirling
But honey I will die trying
I will die crying
I will cry dying
I will try crying
I will cry trying
But see you there through a veil of tears
Watch you through a wash
It never stops, this swirling....
Haunted Items #4
(April 3rd, 2019)
I see now that it was wrong, so wrong,
To try to hold on to a fallin' tree
One that wouldn’t even look at me
Whose sticks were all arranged so evenly
Who wasn’t holding arms out lovingly
Humiliate your family just cause you wanna stand with me
I think your ring means more than our thing
The day after I decide to end it all
I go for a walk and it feels like everything
Is planted to tell me not to do it
Oh how I wish we’d never met
Oh baby I was all alone in it
Now I see that I was always me
Underneath everything I ever tried to be
Now I see that there is always you
Turning up in everything I do
You are just a scary bug
You can’t hurt me
I don’t want it anymore
You never gave it to me
Nowhere to cry, ask me if I’m allowed
I don a thought inside a sound
I forgot, what the fuck
You know it’s true, I am dead to you too
Everyone’s cool in the shade
In my new dress feeling useless
Today’s special is your freckles
Fried in my dimple, it’s pretty simple
E-i-e-i-o she’s the life of the party
E-i-e-i-o she’s the life of the party
E-i-e-i-o
Haunted Items #3
(March 27th, 2019)
I wish that I were high
I’d call you up and cry
I stay clear, I hold it in
No-one’s ever noticing
The way that I am balancing
I’m held together with a thin
Shred of green string
Nothing is ever nothing
Everything is everything
Inside of part of everything is nothing
I was handed pure belief just to be candid
I saw that I never ended
Whatever
Is inside of whatever
It was never an issue
I miss you
If you can let it make you laugh
It’s steam that’s trapped
Unravel
All the windows are so scary
Everyone you meet is married
They’re made of infinite love
I’m made of it too
That’s why I’m stronger than you
I walk through an ocean
Just to see if light was closing
The windows
On smartness
Up to my ear in darkness
In a ball of night
It feels I gave you all the light
But it’s not over
Just cause its over as I knew it
Doesn’t mean I blew it
I’m not angry and I’ll prove it
I’m not angry
The discussion is just lengthy
I’ll show it
Just as soon as I can know it
Eternal
I see it
Even when I am between it
Haunted Items #2
(March 20th, 2019)
It was February, it was June,
It was August, with you
I do, I do, marry you
I did, I did, but I was just a kid
I won’t, I won’t tell anybody
what you told when you sat next to me
Nothing new, a hug and a drink from you,
then you flew, fountain of youth
And a cup of milk
the pages of my book
February
another risk you took
February there was nothing near me
I couldn’t see, I was watching drunkly
And a cup of milk
Love is crazy and I didn’t know
How much it made me lose my mind for you
Do you wish me well?
I don’t know if I do
But I have figured out
Myself by getting away from you
I’m sitting down in the world again
It’s all good and I don’t know anything
A day goes by that I don’t think of you
I’m sitting down in the world again
It’s all good and I don’t know anything
Haunted Items #1
(March 13th, 2019)
Dancing like the answer to a question that I do not know the answer to
but maybe you dance like the answer to an ever-changing question
Orange sports car or religion
I put 40 on pump 6 and I drive
If you saw me you would probably die
Dancing like the answer to an ever-changing question
Whatever or nothing
I cry more times a day than you did in 5 years
You’ve bought more pairs of jeans than you ever shed tears
Ask questions when you wonder
In the quick silence as we go under a bridge and the rain stops for just a second
It can feel like a lifetime if I let it
I’m having the time of my life each time that I look into your eyes
You look back at me, we really see each other, the scenery closed off by a tunnel
I’m pretending not to care that everything will go away, but it’s on my mind today
You acquire a new item every time you feel like crying
I used to keep it quiet, now I don’t mind it, I don’t feel like lying
And baby I got hair now that’s never even heard of you
Home Is Where / Orchard
A split with LVL UP for Sub Pop’s SPF30 Singles release (August 11, 2018)
Home Is Where (vinyl only, not streaming):
Ooh boy I love your pants
‘Cause they’re a little too tight
And after we dance
I put ‘em on and they fit me just right
Home is where the fun is
But home is where the love is
Tonight home is this stranger’s kitchen floor
Tomorrow home is somewhere out that door
Sometimes home’s New York City
But sometimes isn’t always usually
Seems like noone in the world could understand it like you do
The songs are not for them, they’re only for you
Vessel
(March 30th, 2018)
Caramelize
you make me blue
I wanna make
a man out of you
the light in world is dull
it's more like empty space
through the darkness
closing my eyes and they start to sting
feeling my tear ducts doing their thing
I'm kinda pretty, that's why you want it so bad
when the heart gets too tender
return it to the sender
be more centered
if you miss your friend
call them again
last night I got so swept up
my heartbeat was kept up
but the song you gave to me
is it wrong or meant to be?
when you rode off way back when
I got this feeling I'd never see you again
but here you are in my bed
heart gets tender
those gaping wide
secret eyes
close on me
they don't want to see
I want in on the other side
of your eyelids where you hide
or further in, that neatest dark
but my boyish emotion
keeps me soft like the ocean
are you relieved when I leave?
that I needed to be held
is a vice like anything else
but the others push it down
other vices to make it melt
I just wanna give you strength
help you make all you can make
the extent to which you've grown on me
I can feel now you've got a hold on me
when you rode off way back when
I got this feeling I'd never see you again
but here you are in my bed
heart gets tender
Looking around at 22
and so tired of myself around you
maybe I don't fit your ideals anymore
or maybe I just grew up into a bore
I know that I shouldn't call you
but in this light we are all blue
I just wanna feel like I'm
neatly designed
like a telephone pole
I want to feel whole
Do you wanna go on a date?
Or would that be hard to orchestrate?
When you close your dreamy eyes
are they even close to dreaming of mine?
You could take me and my apathy
turn us into clarity
I love you so
I let you know as often as I can
I love you so I let you know
as often as I can
Can you tell anyone this stuff?
Can you ever tell it enough?
Will it make a difference?
Will they forget it within minutes?
I'm living in a condo
it replaced your favorite movie theater though
not all trees have fruits or flowers
some are just there to grow
I'm not like anyone else my age
so I know why they call partying rage
I'm not like anyone else my age
so I know why they call partying rage
I wanna tour in a hot pink van
and I want you there to hold my hand
and every night that you're in my band
is a moment they will never understand
can you tell anyone this stuff?
can you ever tell it enough?
will it make a difference?
will they forget it within minutes?
Me & Jesse stayed up 'til 2
We talked about dreams, about things,
about you
It felt like anything could be real or fake
Like, our love is my world but so is my heartache
And I knew if I thought really hard about flying
I could probably do it I'm just too tired for trying
I created a scorpion and then had to kill it
Just like I loved you and then had to will it
to end
'cause I bent the rules and I'm scary
my dream
is a seam on the world that I'm wearing
Allowed to break our deepest holds
They keep you in the shade
Too late to explain
How many things are whole and good
The mirror glittered all blue and silver
but I was never in it to begin with
I'd like to be a shadow in a shadow
more deeply invisible than invisible
Oh to be part of the scenery
Oh to be filled with apathy
For you to be a little bit scared of me
You got nice eyes, they're very blue
that is why I look at you
I look at you, I look at you
I look at you, I look at you
Making a list of people to kiss
the list is a million Yous long
just Yous all the way down
Olive oil soft and laundry warm
I know I like you but I don't know what for
with my boy Ronnie, listening to Connie
I couldn't stop if I tried, I will love you 'til I die
Found myself in a scene
told my friends how you made me
They let you stomp in still
kept you around against my will
No one will listen, no one will talk
I had to leave just to hear my thoughts
My body is a burden
I'm always yearning
to be less accommodating
to say loud how I'm feeling
A brief breath of safety
disturbed by a series of break-ins
spills out brain onto the plate and
serves to host but one party
where the air hits invisible
a spot so thin it's miserable
tries to carve a place to escape
but holes out in a wholly unholy place
you could hardly hear them crack
crashed down onto concrete so vast
Oh you know I'm fried
Oh you know I'm fried
I cleared a path for you
did you want me to?
trying to keep it pure
like it was before
so maybe I won't be yours
in fully the same way
but if it's right than maybe I
won't turn and walk away
I just wanna know that I would
walk away from wrong
so maybe I won't be yours
in fully the same way
(oh you know I'm fried)
but if it's right than maybe I
won't turn and walk away
(oh you know I'm fried)
I just wanna know that I would
walk away from wrong
would it be accurate
to call it negligence
that I held you harmless
when we got into it
so cut all my losses
and count up the costs and
hereby
I won't deny
the wasted time
you made me cry
I'll give it back if you want it
all that time you wasted on it
I dreamed of you in the car
I wanna know how you are
From August to October
it felt like it was over
don't wear yourself out me
don't lie down about me
Ricky felt alone now
so he went to the store
gathered up some flowers
to mail to Julie's door
The field so watery and wide
passes me on either side
Didn't talk to you today,
doesn't matter either way
You know I like 'em cut
with a certain I-don't-know-what
Dipped into the reserve
bathed in the dirt I deserve
Julie had his flowers
taped up on the wall
"it's better to love Ricky
from afar than not at all"
I wonder if ur up,
I'm America
thinkin' of you for
no reason
Being alive
I see you in everything
my vocabulary's limited
but I wanna tell it all to you
if I could, would you want me to?
Being alive
if I become a piece of dirt
for a dollar can I enter
your brain?
Being alive
matters quite a bit
even when you
feel like shit
Being alive
matters quite a bit
even when you
feel like shit
Being alive
I'm collapsing inwardly
your name strikes a match in me
after a drum solo I looked up
Craig
called out to me after
said
"Maybe see you later"
Being alive
matters quite a bit
even when you
feel like shit
Being alive
Bus bus, train train
makes me think I'm going far away
and I won't come home
'til I'm all grown
a moment is pressing
I feel undressing
I see a purple river
wind sends a shiver
Double rainbow, I see Joejoe
in taxidermy museum
Loving you
gave me something to do
we sleep like nature
our love a purple river
runs through me ancient
I find you in nature
I play the first note
My phone will crash
and I won't even care
'cause I know you are there
I know you are there
My phone will die
and I won't even cry
'cause I know you're nearby
I know you're nearby
Throw my phone out
I know you'll be around
You're easy to be found
I'm easy to be found
I am not the only one
living in delusion
I go to the
cafeteria
cafeteria
Suddenly
I noticed that you weren't touching me
but sometimes I am weird and wrong
sometimes I am weird and wrong
So late at night
we eat the leftover rice
It is dark and empty
no one sees me
no one sees me
But I won't get married
not at the party
not at the party
I wasn't built for this world
I had sex once, now I'm dead
and I never look back
it only hurts my head
I know I listened to a lie
I think about it all the time
OK, sometimes I look
but only for a sec
I will never be touched
never get fucked
and I'll wonder what
makes me so wrong
What makes me so wrong?
I never felt like the one
Never felt like the one
You tried, yea I know you tried
But you still made me cry
you still made me cry
And I tried to close my eyes
But I still saw you cry
I still saw you cry
I didn't think you had the guts
but then you really showed up
and now I'm here in our room
I'm not waiting for you
and once again
I'm really glad you're my friend
we can do it all again
it doesn't mean it's the end
And I tried, yea I know I tried
But I still made you cry
I still made you cry
and you tried
to close your eyes
but you still saw me cry
you still saw me cry
nothing is deserved
nothingness is earned
like the pillow's cold side
rewards your sleeping
with more of the same thing
hours wasted on the train
every body part is pain
but it's nothing like the pain
of your weeping
I saw them laughing
Nothing comes natural
I don't feel my body is a vessel
But you seem to
but you seem to
You are a word I made up when I'm high
I gave you meaning but I don't know why
and you can make me cry
only you can make me cry
You look like a cloud drifting off
am I allowed to watch?
I'm not allowed to watch
Now you don't have to listen
to the shapes that I make with them
Are you only on a mission?
Is it fine that I miss them?
Walking alone in midtown at night
like fog that disappears quickly I
leave no mark at all
leave no mark at all
'Cause we move at just the same time
almost like sex 'cause it's so fun
I throw my wrist like yours all night long
stay alive by nodding along
Next Thing
(April 1st, 2016)
I floated in and started living
passed a blondie asked you a question
"What are you doin? What are you doin?"
now it would be bedtime if I could close off my mind
it just flops onto you, wet and soppy glue
what are you? you know I'd love to
rummage through your silky pink space cap oooh
I floated in and started living
past a blondie asked you a question
"What are you doin? What are you doin?"
If I had a dog, I'd take a picture every day
am I still so sad? is that pretty lame?
everybody says "your decisions are okay
but here's a better idea…" and a comment not about my brain
if I had a love, I'd draw a picture every day
am I still so mad? I guess that's pretty lame
everybody says "your first one's just a game
you'll find a better one…" and a comment about my body
your name is a triangle, your heart is a square
I love to see you way over there
once I was happy, you found it intriguing
then you got to me & left me bleeding
you make me feel like a fool
waiting for you
I thought we could eat bread, I thought we could talk
on darker days with our boots kicked off.
you look to me, and I look away
though I had been looking
you make me feel like a fool waiting for you
someday in bravery, I'll embody all the grace and lightness
everybody understands me, but I wish nobody understood me
so you could be the one who did
embody all the grace and lightness
the world is pretty big, it's cool we fit on it
it makes me wanna grow, so I can go see more
Sarah is a lightbeam
from the picture Jonah sent me
it makes me so happy she embodies all the grace and lightness
it's sunday night and my friends are friends with my friends
it shows me they embody all the grace and lightness
Florist signs are everywhere, Emily is in the air
on tour with Gabby
we embody all the grace and lightness
I wish I had some control
you embarrass me in full
I feel low low low
I don't wanna know how flustered you were
I just wanna hear
you say you were wrong
how easily I become not real
like a bug you brush off your ear
you're just dust, I'm just dust
if your love was strong as my shame
I'd marry you and take your name
but it's not, you'll never get it
so I guess I'll just forget it
too dark
I stand alone, lucky and unknown
do I belong? do I belong? do I belong? oh
when I know I'm not the best girl in the room
I tell myself I'm the best you can do
do I belong? do I belong? do I belong? no
I drink bad coffee, hope that you'll call me (do I belong?)
never look back, never look back, never look back, oh (do I belong?)
when I get bored, I crash up on the shore (do I belong?)
too dark, too dark, too dark, oh (do I belong?)
I don't know what I'm cut out for
if there's anything I have love for
I'd throw myself upon its door
and tell it how fucked you are
up in morning / down at dawn
warm up vocals / sing a song
sit in car / read a book
rest stop eggs or chips,
I look at you every day
you change, I change, hooray
Ronnie & Frankie miss Meredith even though
she's Owen's friend, not their friend, they also love Momo
even though he's not Joejoe
I'm 20
washed up already
I'd sell my soul for a free pen
on it the name of your corporation
ooooh ooooh
If by some chance you know
what is cool, tell me how
I wanna be just how you
would imagine me to
ooooh ooooh
I watch David Blaine
find myself believing
in anything, in many things
I watch David Blaine
find myself believing
in anything, in anything
where would I kiss ya
if I could kiss ya?
why would I kiss ya
if I could kiss ya?
I'm sorry I'm high let's go
sometimes I cry cause I know
I'll never have all the answers
separated by a subway transfer
I watch you disappear
as my train rolls away
I know you could've kissed me
but I'll have to wait
where would I kiss ya
if I could kiss ya?
why should I kiss ya
if I could kiss ya?
my soul is not like a waterpark
it's big but surprisingly dark
it's not as forgivable as you once thought,
you'd still be here if it really was
you really were a pile of rocks
on some planet so far up
how long did we even sit?
it's good I can't remember it
sometimes I get sinister
can't always be like Arthur
sometimes I just feel sinister
can't always turn to Arthur
New Mexico where I ran to
and closed my eyes and thought of you,
and all the time we weren't friends,
a parked car we made out against
so you went home and shut me out
and I grew up, backseats and mouths
and there ensued some other shit
I'm glad I don't remember it
sometimes I get sinister
can't understand Arthur
sometimes I just feel sinister
can't always be like Arthur
when I say goodbye
you act like you lost something,
or were you really realizing?
is it possible
that I really miss you?
New York feels so huge...
what's up with my fate?
is it too late? or is it gonna change?
if I let myself, I could go crazy,
or maybe if you let me
now that I know that every time I get sad
you just hate me
you can go to sleep and sleep it off
peacefully
I'll be here all night feeling
totally fucked
wondering what tomorrow will be like
and staying up
I guess I just make myself the victim like you said
that's why when you treat me shitty you get mad
it all makes sense now, thanks so much
goodbye forever, what the fuck
Outside with the cuties
I don't think the woods are too deep
the grass covers the sand
all the wood is damp
Feeling very touched
cause my friends are in love
Feeling pretty far from home
so I sit to write this down
I guess it's not really brave
I know I'm not a lake
I haven't written this part yet
will you help me write it?
you are bug bites on vacation,
you find the sad in everything
can't see you cry, you're down the street
I wonder when you'll talk to me
your eyes reflect the greenish moon
you move towards me and I love you
I love you
I love you
I haven't finished this song yet
will you help me fix it?
From the street I see
your window and I look up in
is that even your house?
is that Sappho you're reading?
is it cool when I don't care?
can you feel me in the air?
under the crack in the door,
can you tell I have no floor?
and I'm shivering just thinking
where have you been all these minutes?
I am too stressed out to
do the thing the train won't do
but why should I fight back?
I'm just not like that
and I'm sorry if I have been a real bad friend
your face too close to mine to hear you talk
so I look up into your window
from the street where I am standing (so i look up into your window)
is that even your house (from the street where I'm standing)
is that your landing (is that even your house)
and I wanna know what (is that your landing)
you're reading
is it cool when I don't care?
can you feel me in the air?
under the crack in the door
can you tell I have no floor?
I'm not grounded, nothing
nothing nothing
what we do, for our kids
when we don't know who
or what it is
what we do, for young love
what if? what if?
what is What If?
I'd be down to break my fall
using my guitar
sunlight on the subway pole
fur against a turnstile
so last minute
oh, to be in it
when you're young, you're too young
when you're old, you're too old
too few ideas, or too many
I'm reminded of a dance party
when you walk into the rest stop
I'm fluttery, you got me feeling so clean
If you really need to stay inside
just to be sure you don't break anything,
please don't invite me over
cause I don't think it is working
Today I walked through your town
it's ruined for me now
I still think you're in every van
and I peer into all of them
you were a dealer, a friend, a prick,
a friend again, with more to it
now you're a ghost, a memory
or maybe just a bad story
Where are you now? I don't really care
Who you're around, who you're making scared
I don't know or care to know
I don't care or know to care
Fit Me In
(November 13th, 2015)
Korean food, i wish we haven't been doing it how we have 'cause the right way is sad
your insides drip down my insides inside our cavely apartment, I feel not the most beautiful when you look at me
too handsome to be drawn, I can't help it I, I am a love song anyway
With this I'm scrapin' by
at least it's cute that I tried
I wrote some songs that I sung
and have you heard I am so young? and who my parents are?
I heard about being young
but I'm not sure how it's done
thought I heard a mumble
something about "fun"
fun
"Easy for you to say" I say
I say this to you every day
easy for you to say
The sky is a special orange streak
between balloons, two moons,
a leak of light in a blue town like this
the clouds are you, the sky a kiss
that never shows or comes oh what
a waste sits in the parking lot
I just wanna be alive, that's it
alive
Leoleoleoleoleo Leonie
Joejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoe Joana
I don't I don't I don't wanna go to the party
without without you without you begging me
O Contest Winner, my veil is growing thinner
I'd rather be a bird and kiss dogs
than have your word engraved on a log
'cause I'm no nuisance
I'm void and truant
no need for a re-test
I know I'm a genius
Leonie is my sister and I miss her
Joana is my sister and I miss her
I wanna kiss your stupid thumb
'cause I love when the days are long
I notice more of everything
might even try to be a friend
You hold my hair right by the end
and we hold hands around the bend
touch all the books outside The Strand
the oldest pages soft like sand
the oldest pages soft like sand
quick songs
(July 11, 2014)
i don’t wanna learn how to love you
I want you to learn how to love me correctly
without a game
I forget how to play
I wanna strip you of your power and show you the way
I took my bike today
only on the bike lane
came home Ronnie rubbed my butt
and made some breakfast for us
and I saw a kid
who is friends with Krill
and I didn’t say
cause I couldn’t remember his name
I took my bike today
rode it on the bike lanes
made this song really quick
like a magic trick
so I could go out with my pal
now I will call Al
I know life is hard but I’m not sure why
all I know is I don’t wanna cry anymore than I should
anymore than I should
my body’s here, I think its art
it’s mine but I don’t feel connected to its parts
anymore than I should
anymore than I should
anymore than I should
i just want a family with a dog and a boyfriend filled with love
one night you must have followed me
into the bathroom at a christmas party
and all the nude i had ever been disintegrated
and i can still see the beauty in evil
but i see a lot more evil these days
and i seem a lot more evil too
i can feel it in our evil ways
I come home to my parents house
I have some coffee and food
I need to go to the show
I don’t have time to make this song
Now that I know that every time I get sad you just hate me
You can go to sleep and sleep it off peacefully
I’ll be here all night feeling totally fucked
Wondering what tomorrow will be like and staying up
I guess I just make myself the victim like you said
That’s why when you treat me shitty you get mad
It all makes sense now thanks so much
Goodbye forever what the fuck
I wonder why the guy who’s always standing next to her mouth
Is putting me in his now, he put me into his mouth
And now Frankie yells and puts me in a dark pink case
in the cabinet far away from everyone else
I only see the light twice a day now
And then I go straight into her mouth and back into the cabinet
I wonder why the guy who’s always standing next to her mouth
Put me into his mouth
affirms glinting
(May 12, 2014)
life is long as fuck
and i just wanna stay sharp
how many ways can u call
whatever i do small
the weird sound guy
would never touch a man that way
i'd rather be in the bathroom
with a national geographic
than talk to anyone
haven't you heard
if you can't pinpoint the schmuck in the room
ITS YOU ITS YOU ITS YOU
"its all for you" [-Lana Del Rey]
a kid with a pineapple head
has some kind of hold on my friend
and i dont understand
all i see is phony
"no shoulder" is what the road sign says
i remember how it felt when i was
WITHOUT ONE
WITHOUT ONE
being alive
i see you in everything
my vocabulary's limited
but i wanna tell it all to you
if i could would you want me to?
bein alive
if i become a piece of dirt
for a dollar can i enter your brain?
being alive
matters quite a bit
even when you
feel like shit
being alive
im collapsing inwardly
your name strikes a match in me
after a drum solo i looked up
craig
called out to me after
said
"maybe see you later?"
being alive
matters quite a bit
even when you
feel like shit
BEING ALIVE!!
i wish i had some control
you embarrass me in full
i feel low low low
i dont wanna know how flustered you were
i just wanna hear
you say you were wrong
how easily i become not real
like a bug you brush off your ear
you're just dust, i'm just dust
if your love was strong as my shame
i'd marry you and take your name
but it's not, you'll never get it
so i guess i'll just forget it
too dark
i stand alone
lucky and unknown
do i belong? do i belong do i belong
no
when i know i'm not the best girl in the room
i tell myself i'm the best you can do
do i belong do i belong do i belong
noooooo
i drink bad coffee
hope that you'll call me
never look back never look back never look back
o
when i am bored i crash up on the shore
too dark too dark too dark
oooooo
i am privileged enough to go to the doctor
but i don't need to go because i FEEL SO GOOD
everyone is healthy
nothing is wrong with me
my head is clear
i have no fear
of dying soon
i am immune
i look at me i am happy when you dont want me i look at my body
its awkward and dirty i feel unsturdy
when you dont hold my hand i totally understand
you just cant walk with ease, i pull it in my sleeve
and when you dont love me i look above me
and i talk to my god even though he's a dog
and i ask him if i'l be ok
and he says that he was once a stray
and that was when we took him home
and loved him and made him our own
and you have done the same to me
which doesnt mean that i'm not free
i dont know what else it means
as long as i dont become we
i can stay ME
i am happy
i look at me
i am happy
i am just me
i am happy
so differently
some day in bravery
i'll embody all the grace and lightness
everybody understands me
but i wish nobody understood me
so you could be
the one who did
embody
all the grace and lightness
the world is pretty big
its cool we fit on it
it makes me wanna grow
so i can go see more
sarah is a lightbeam
from the picture jonah sent me
it makes me so happy
she embodies all the grace and lightness
its sunday night and my friends are friends
with my friends
it shows me
they embody all the grace and lightness
florist signs are everywhere
emily is in the air
on tour
with gabby
we'll embody all the grace and lightness
all of the suckers are standing in one corner
and i'm right there with them it's not that we're loners
we all stand together cause in the world
there's suckers and there's jerks
and temptation doesn't strike the sucker
we all just get fucked over
fuck it
suckers should be proud
we're the only good people around
cause temptation doesn't strike the sucker
we all just get fucked over
i know now
i was too young to think how
you had had a past
maybe you were affected by that
you called me 4 in the morning
talkin bout 2 abortions
i had just turned 16
i didn't know what you meant
and when i met you
you were the age i am now
your girlfriend has just moved out
of the apartment where
you said so much nothing
the place that we were fucking
was probably sacred for something
am i wrong that you want me
the questions that haunt me
affirms glinting
the love i was hinting
everywhere i look is sadness
all i seem to feel is badness
everywhere i look is sadness
always seems like you're the baddest
look what you do to me
everybody can see
and it shows on my face
in a well lit place
everywhere i look is sadness
always seems like you're the baddest
everywhere i look is sadness
all i seem to feel is badness
am i wrong that you want me?
the questions that haunt me
affirms glinting
the love i was hinting
i am a car on a patch of grass
i am a hair on a hairless cat
i am the sky that invented blue
i am a love who isn't you
"i see your beauty in other" men
we'll never know just what it meant
i see your beauty in other men
and i try not to dream of them
i feel so bad
i never felt this bad
tour is scary and its hard to stay strong
it might help if i could call you on the phone
and hear a friends voice that isnt my own
being surrounded is like being alone
and there i was on the window sill
outside your room in pleasantville
with your shirt on as a nightgown
looking for a way outta that town
and all i have is you
and you are of no use
i learned how to love from you
to carefully follow from the room
too tired of being strewn along
bored from being done all wrong
you showed me how to make a sound
you taught me that the earth was round
but that i'm round too, can bounce at any time
i bounced from being yours to being mine
and now i'm strong, now i'm strong
thanks for doing me so wrong
what is entailed in being human?
does anyone owe anyone anything?
theres someone i dont hate who
just makes me hate you
i get soapy hearted
remembering your actions i've charted
it all comes down to proof
im loathing i want truth
i start to feel that feeling
it always comes about a week in
i carry equipment
get zen with it
i can leave everyone alone
so they can have their fun
im a social caterpillar
everything i say is filler
and its ok if no one can surmise
im really great inside
im really great inside
im a sucker 4 u 2
im looking for clues
as to why im alive
and im not gonna lose
i will try til i die
the dark is stronger than the love
a stranger leads me from the tub
the hot one with the rain inside
youve written of it in a lie
as for the shit inside me
i cant feel it hardly
the only scars you can see
are accidents incidentally
right when i
lose my high
its a birthday
we say "time flies"
but its not true
cause time moves slow
it moves for you
to have time to grow
but growth ends too
just like a day
at the end of it all you can do is say
FUCK EM!
life is a road
every town is a home
i just wanna be self maintaining
i just wanna stop complaining
i only exist by comparison
i only matter with context
drivin up to garrison
sad is not that complex
outside and inside are the same
you got me feeling soft like rain
i thought there was only
one kind of boring
but some people are pure poison
my body's sendin out some shit
and i cannot keep track of it
i remember feeling like aliens
we were cottonballs dipped in sand
isnt it weird how we have grown so far apart
now i dont know you at all youre just a name on my gchat bar
joejoe you were in my dream
alive and facing away from me
i can't tell how i feel
everybody's actin weird
ACTIN WEIRD
ACTIN WEIRD
ACTIN WEIRD
ACTIN WEIRD
i don't wanna learn how to love you
i want you to learn how to love me
CORRECTLY
without a game
i forget how to play
i wanna strip you of
your power and show you the way
(wanna get a coffee with me?)
Zentropy
(March 4, 2014)
art school makes you wild
real school makes you wanna get high
high school makes you crazy
high school made me cry
i am shy to begin with
this is the diagnosis
i can't focus
and i can't keep up cause i'm always running away
all your friends are drunk and wild
all my friends are depressed
my daddy is a fireman
and yours is an actress
i won't go i won't go i won't go i wont go
my daddy is a fireman
he is brave
he is strong
my daddy is a fireman
he is brave
he is strong
today he is here
tomorrow he's gone
just because i am a certain age
doesn't mean that i am any older
than i was yesterday
'cause i get all flushed and ugly
wonder how ever he loved me
i am so clumsy
i think how repulsive to you
it must be when i refuse
to do the things you want me to
i hate everybody in this town
so i walk around with my head down
and sit alone
sometimes i just want you joejoe
but i know that that is no no
its so impossible
ooooo
i love my brother owen
though i do not know him
i only dream of you
sometimes eliza too
it's raining in my head
i cry and eat my bread
my tears are what i spread
on convoluted meals
icicles hanging in caves
have very special names
i love my honey's lungs
i kiss him on the tongue
ronnie and frank
holding hands at the bank
undoing what i've done
will not have been much fun
i'm the kind of girl buses splash with rain
i'm the kind of girl buses splash with rain
look mom i'm hobbling through
i am gonna be a painter too
i make my canteen so heavy
as if i need anymore water today
cause we are not young
and this isn't a party
i guess i should leave
this party with little bear
i'm the kind of girl
who doesn't care
but we are not young
and this isn't a party
with a shy grin
and a silent tip of a forty
everyone is gone
i turn the light on
he shook me around
drove on the wrong side of the road
a bakers dozen of bad affairs
but along came ronnie
i climb up the space between
i'm bitter like olives
thats why you like them and i don't
rarely
i spend 80 dollars
red-mouthed
hulking
i stand beside ali in the mirror
hulking
that's why you like me and i don't
Leonie
I'm lonely
put pipe cleaner gold around me
Leonie
I'm lonely
i'm sitting where we'd sit
but now it's different
meet me at the pier
cigarettes and beer
i'll cut your hair
i don't care
Germany
takes you from me
everybody is nobody
Joey apologizes anyway
when i stay still
i can still feel
my body inside of my body
i am nodding inside of my body
i go to the bathroom
cause they all got the moves
he tries not to think of you
i do too i do too
i could be thrilling
if you are willing
to overlook a few things
i am crazy
i have no idea what i'm doing
when he thinks of you
i try not to, i do too
he tries not to think of you
i do too, i do too
my ass is made of velvet
and my hips are made of stone
and if you really love me
you will leave me alone
i wanna go dancing (dancing) in the public eye
i wanna go dancing (dancing) in the public eye
the ceiling is the sky
and the rug is the leaves
and my honey fell asleep
under the christmas tree
i wanna go dancing (dancing) in the public eye
i wanna go dancing (dancing) in the public eye
you undo all my clutter
leave me alone in the flutter
i try not to be pretentious
but i always get embarrassed
i wanna go dancing (dancing) in the public eye
i wanna go dancing (dancing) in the public eye
i do what i
have to do
this is when i say
my i love you
this is when i say
my i love you
i do what i
have to do
this is when i say
my i love you
this is when i say
my i love you
and if i die
tell the world
how he talks to me like i imagined
how he talks to me like i imagined
it all
it all
if i drop a pea
you're not here to pick it up for me
in the kitchen
i miss him
joejoe joejoe joejoe joejoe joejoe joejoe joejoe
joejoe
i do what i
have to do
this is when i say my i love you
he was just a dog
now his body's gone
so what is left? but me and my poem
i am just a normal girl
but my name is frank
i just wanna get taken
on a date
all the crazies on the bus
love me so much
i laugh at all the lights
and feel a little right
what is coffee
and what is wine
i dont mind
if you dont mind
honey you are always so sad
cat's out of the bag
i'm sad 2
dad made the appointment
to kill my best friend
there goes my fear
of death
i just want my dog back
is that so much to ask
”i wish that
i could kiss his paws” [-Krill]
donutes
(January 26, 2014)
i like you so how come you dont like me?
you dont know what you dont know what to do
i dont know what i dont know what to do
you like me so how come i dont like you?
you look at me like you hate me
you look at me like you love me
why puzzle over it?
i gotta make this
song
cause when i look down
i look up and you're gone
seems im always around
i feel 17 saying stuff that i dont mean
you wanna talk to me but you dont know that
i am full of shit
dont worry about it
i cannot affect you
you give me an out of body
experience when you wanna disappear you appear mysterious
i gotta have a light heart
gotta have a light
i gotta have a light heart
gotta have a light
we got the toughest friends
--doug, eliza--
never see them cry
we got the most sensitive lovers
--you, me--
always on the verge
we got the worst skin
--pink, red--
always feelin dirty
we got the most love
--love, love--
love love love love love
i gotta have a light heart
gotta have a light
I don’t know how to sing
I don’t know if you love me still
I don’t know if I am dumb or smart
I don’t know what I wanna be when I grow up
the kind of show that makes me cry
is changing all the time
I find out what I shouldn’t know
I find out
a weekly indulgence
makes me feel so not gorgeous
I miss
I’m the worst band in the room
I’m the worst friend in the room
i feel cold
i feel hot
i can breathe
i cannot
what is up
what is up
in jp
i feel something wrong with me
wrong with me
i cant trust anyone
keys wallet phone
when i have fun
i have my backpack on
my backpack on
i am glad i have ronnie
a warm soft laundry
you can feel me write your name
you ask what are you writing?
you writing
fuck UP
tip top
sad friends
long walk
school bus
dead end
love
assurance
jom looks so sad
i wanna be a friend
but who knows
what anyone wants
when im sad
i wanna cry alone
but secretly want
to be hugged and let it out
weep to elaiza
confuse and overwhelm
talk to elaiza
do you have a crush
whats his name
whats he like
do you think he likes you
does he like you back
you are dead cant pat your head
they took you away in a cardboard box
doesnt stop me from talking to you
i am dead nothing compares
to being young i feel
old and undone doesnt stop me
from talking to you
cause ill talk and ill talk and i'll talk til im really dead
and we talked and we talked and we talked and you never said A THING
cause you were a dog a dog a dog and i am a human
cause i am a dog a dog a dog and you are a human
you're dead cant pat your head
they took you away in a cardboard
box doesnt stop me from
talking to you
the world is a puzzle when everyone loves you
and theres nothing to attend to
and you're scared of bailing cause everyone else has
failed you
i saw you at the met
i was outside but
i didnt enter it
we walked down the block
the ultimate fear is worse when its real
its been so long and now its sad to know
it wasnt like this with anyone else
for you for me differently
a true outsider is when
its decided for you
when you are just unwelcome
whether or not you want to
well i cant treat you anything but rough
and anything you do feels good cause im in love
and i aint looking at anybody in grand central
cause i left my eyes in pleasantville
and i just wanna take a picture of
your face when it becomes a rectangle
and i cant treat you anything but rough
and i love you but thats not enough
to keep me sane
i go to museums in winter
and i fold my coat
i try to tell you but something
gets caught in my throat
i drink my coffee at night
and i sleep on the train
i think im losing my mind
when i use my brain
there are so many smart things about me
that doesnt mean i act smartly
smartly
all you can do is assure me
all you can do is say sorry
a million times or whatever
but do i really wanna wonder forever
or is it easier to just start over?
how you never quite believe them again
is the most powerful lack of emotion
descent of emotion
is the strongest emotion
whats the warmest thing we can do
you just walk around and i'll watch you
how you touch the ground so lightly
i feed you a cracker religiously
2 coffees before 4 pm
& I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN
yesterday was a vortex
garlic tour-booking and chess
i pull fuzz off your face
whats appropriate?
everything loses and gains value
i cant imagine life without you
how you stretched my body out like clay
and made me feel a whole new way
you got nice eyes
they're very blue
that is why
i look at you
i look at you
i look at you
i look at you
i look at you
makin a list
of people to kiss
the list is a million YOUs long
just YOUs all the way down
olive oil soft
and laundry warm
i know i like you
but i dont know what for
with my boy ronnie
listening to connie
i couldnt stop if i tried
i will love you til i die
i look at you
i look at you
pure suburb
(December 6, 2013)
There Goes
Frankie Cosmos
and her Travel Journal
Who Knows
Frankie Cosmos
but her Travel Journal?
being free
doesnt make you happy
She Feels In Between
Feeling and Nothing
She goes alone
Along the Street
He's at home
Very Fast Asleep
being free
doesnt make you happy
She Feels Very In Between
Feeling and Nothing
There Goes
Frankie Cosmos
and her Travel Journal
soft bottom lip ronnie
you are the story
if you are the morning
i am fifth avenue and i am trafficky
i am losing my memory
french kissing is so friendly
if i love you and you hate me
i'll just kiss you when you let me
talk to me
i'll tell you a gooey
never ending story
of ronnie and frankie
soft bottom lip ronnie
you are the story
if you are the morning
i am fifth avenue and i am trafficky
i felt so defeated
but today i completed
the jigsaw puzzle
after a struggle
how i love you is unfair
because i have too much forever
its unfair how i love you
because you dont want me to
im not my brother
i love my brother
do you remember what we did today
it felt evil like a ballet
i finally was completing
the puzzle without cheating
i felt so defeated
but today i completed
the jigsaw puzzle
after a struggle
i am a black hole for your love
i just cannot get enough
i suck i suck i suck
and dont give back that much
pure suburb
pure suburb
it feels like you didnt pick me back
it just worked out like that
i lack and lack and lack
how could you love me back?
"if you wanna feel
like a failure thats your right" [-Krill]
sings krill at death by audio
pulls me back to that night
pure suburb
i watched you and he walked away
back to some home on the range
and everything had changed
my arm was empty space
you are a black hole for my love
you just cannot get enough
you suck and suck and suck
and dont give back so much
i permeate the past
dont hesitate to ask
its easy to
be faithful to you
i am not so fast
i am not so wise
i am not such a good reader
but i have a pretty good attitude
when the u
is not u
its easy for you
to be faithful too
back in new york
the streets are not you
i might be getting older too
but ill never be as old as you
back in new york
the streets are not you
i might be get
ting older too
but i'll never be as old as you
i could never be as old as you
i get all tripped up
thinking that i am clear
you are an angel
seashell for an ear
i am a traveler
circling the world
you are a journal
with a million words
i love darwin
i love aran
my love isnt
my love
i write a million books 4 u
i write a thousand songs 4 u
i write a book i write a book now
hot coffee makes me tired
your love is a liar
jonah in a purple sweater
boston is perfect weather
if i listen to the
tape you made
it will make me
so afraid
i lose you win
again
my heroes are my
friends
my friends are my heroes
the spirit of joejoe
is able to live
if i stay positive
but i am so useless
each day i prove this
the arrow points up and down
i'm just this way around
yoooouuuuuu
i have too much love
even for a dog
seems like my reflections delayed
when i caught a glimpse of a mirror today
my shadow lags behind my movement
if i run really fast i could lose it
AM I TRYING? IM NOT TRYING
TO MAKE IT
IF YOU MAKE IT
AND YOURE FAMOUS
Will you tell david letterman about me?
IF YOU MAKE IT
will you tell domino records about me?
am i trying? im not trying
to make it
i would like to but im not trying
to make it
because i was told when i was younger
that i looked stupid in a dress
and i felt like i
could never try
without failing
am i trying im not trying
your name is so great
i make the mistake
of making it known
so others can moan
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
i feel ilke a herb
when im not invited
i wanna hang out
but its not requited
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie ooooh
i know what she said
i saw the text
dont know what you said back
what the heck
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie oh oh oh ronnie
oh ronnie ooo
im sorry im hi lets go
(October 25, 2013)
i watch david blaine
find myself believing
in many things
in anything
where would i kiss ya?
if i could kiss ya?
why would i kiss ya?
if i could kiss ya?
im sorry im hi lets go
sometimes i cry cause i know
i'll never have all the answers
separated by a subway transfer
i watch you disappear
as my train rolls away
i know you could've kissed me
but i'll have to wait
where would i kiss ya?
if i could kiss ya?
why should i kiss ya?
if i could kiss ya?
i write a book for you
i wonder if
i write a book for you
i wonder if i do
i must apologize to your guitar
i would to you if i knew where you are
and if i knew where you are
it would be you where you are
it would be where you are
i would be where you are
i write a book for you
i wonder if i do
i write a book for you
i wonder if i do?
i am all about having a good time
but if you put yourself in danger thats a crime
i just wanna be safe and have a party
i wanna have fun without hurting no one
BE NORMAL FRANKIE BE NORMAL
thats what me said to me
be normal frankie, be normal
thats what me said
friendship is a phase
everything betrays
i find the warm spot
its a room not a body part
if you'd've had a dog
which i dont think you would
you wouldve looked at me
you wouldve understood
be normal frankie be normal
thats what me said to me
be normal frankie be normal
thats what she said
he is a highway
i drive along the spine
and i pull over
at the shoulder
and flash my headlights in his eyes
i thought about ya for days
through the house i yelled yr name
ronnie ronaldo
ronnie ronaldo
we got something special
itd be crazy not ta
ronnie ronaldo
ronnie ronaldo
if yr butt touched my butt
would you be like so what?
or would you think it was cool
help me break all the rules
ronnie ronaldo
hi how are ya?
ronnie ronaldo
hi how are ya!
i went to the store/my life is a bore/then i went home/then i got stoned/i dont go to school/i know im not cool/i am very rude/i ate all the food/and i am very bored/so i go to the store
CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE I LIKE TO BOOGIE WITH O YEA
CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE I LIKE TO BOOGIE WITH
when your eyes are open/they seem to be closed/you are so beautiful/and no one knows/when you are happy/you seem to be sad/you are so vulnerable/so you get treated bad
but you're the one i liike to boogie with oh yea
cause you're the one i like to boogie with
you're the one i like to boogie with oh yea
cause you're the one i like to boogie with
i did something bad
i dont wanna talk about it
new york city is cold
to me
and the trains are fast
asleep
i like the way you
marry me
i saw you on the
tv
at the diner
i ordered
*the usual
the usual
the usual*
got a crush in the brain the brain
sinks down the drain
but im happy plain
old loving you
dont want nothing new
i did something bad
i dont wanna talk about it
you are sooo handsome
you held me for ransom
i've never been stood up before
but it feels sort of like everything
every day i congratulate myself
on having feelings
today i thought for a few minutes
that i was really a great person
i think i'll order anyway
i think i'll order anyway
excuse me sir can i please have
a waffle and some scrambled eggs
i find a box of my poems
im so sad for whats mixed in
i'll tell you later
we're out of swiffer
my i love you
but i dont know how to
imaginary
real
dont want you to imagine when im right fucking here
i think i'll order anyway
excuse me sir can i please have
a waffle and
some of your best scrambled eggs
customer satisfaction is key (bonus track)
customer satisfaction is key
customer satisfaction is key
send me a sample of your writing
and the essay I send back to you will sound like you wrote it
customer satisfaction is key
but it’s not an A+ guaranteed
DADDY COOL
(September 20, 2013)
Korean food, i wish we haven't been doing it how we have 'cause the right way is sad
your insides drip down my insides inside our cavely apartment, I feel not the most beautiful when you look at me
too handsome to be drawn, I can't help it I, I am a love song anyway
Me in my famous red raincoat staring as you look like a sailboat
I gulp down knives in my throat
You called me “mom” and it hurt
I am boring, I am lame, but sometimes I can go insane
You are cocaine, bleach blonde, insane, I am nothing I am nothing
You are cocaine, bleach blonde, insane, I am nothing I am nothing
I am “wash it before you wear it” I faked you out a little bit
You are cocaine, bleach blonde, you tricked me with a song
I wanna know what your song is about before I put my lips on your mouth
You are cocaine, bleach blonde, insane, I am nothing I am nothing
You are cocaine, bleach blonde, insane, I am nothing I am nothing
Dating is dumb, giving up your life to someone
Giving up is dumb too, so you better push through
The trees are thin, the grass is patchy
And he is him, and I am happy
you fill me with weariness
when you are mysterious
even though i joke a lot
i still feel the power of god
justin bieber made a lot of people christian
people need something to believe in
i go to the cow meeting
the pretzels are steaming
i must have been dreaming
i, jonathan
i must have been dreaming
cause when yr heartbroken
it feels like its just you and him
but now im on the other side
and im so sorry
my honeys got pointed toes
and a funny heartshaped nose
the first half of the book is prose
but we just read the poems
and look at the pinecones
math controls everything
pinecones and cup rings
maybe sex too, a kiss
fibonacci sequence
but i cant remember what it is
holy moment
bow in nude
We bow in the nude, you’re forgetfully rude (ah!)
“Can I be yours?” is wrong, I make you mine in a song (ah!)
We sleep heavy, too certain, but I pull up the curtain (ah!)
And it’s revealing icy bad feelings (ah!)
’til the river pounds through, windows crack filled with blue
You’ll think “oh we’re safe” and leave everything to break
If you wanna survive the night you’ll need a lot of purple wine
Cause you’ll be here all alone with me and you really don’t wanna be
If you wanna get through the year you’ll need a billion bubbling beers
And I’ll watch you gulp down the yellow and you’ll look down and not say hello
If you have to spend the day with me make sure you bring some good whiskey
In case I have a lot to say, I’ll talk and talk the whole brown day
And now it’s time to sleep together
We haven’t done that in forever
It makes everything else better
i wear yr shirt to the lake
it makes me feel safe
then i fall in
and i cant swim
i wore yr shirt in the lake
it made me feel safe
that was an easy mistake
and then i fall in
and i cant swim
and then i see him
and he starts to grin
and then i cry out
i hope that someone helps
and then i start to drown
i see you start to frown
and then you start to weep
i enter my final sleep
i took your favorite shirt
and wore it til it hurt
i wear your shirt to the lake
it makes me feel safe
then i fall in
but i cant swim
bus bus
train train
makes me think im
going far away
and i wont
come home
til im
all grown
a moment is pressing
i feel undressing
i see a purple river
wind sends a shiver
double
rainbow
i see
joejoe
in taxidermy museum
lovin' you
gave me something to do
we sleep like nature
our love a purple river
runs through me ancient
i find you in nature
I PLAY THE FIRST NOTE!
He wears a trench coat, I eat French toast
His dreams are boring, I watch him snoring
I am imagining to be with you dancing
“Your eyes say yes but you don’t say yes”
maybe I’m living in a spiral
maybe you are a broken sparrow
Coloring the view of the street
only I can see
I look at the earth tighten
My hearts got my problems frightened away
Away
“Your eyes say yes but you
you don’t say yes”
i was the car i drove us there
you were around cause you were the air
i was the brains you were the brawn
i knew you'd hurt me ALL ALONG
whos gonna kiss me at the show?
i hope its you but, i dont know
the word love makes me so hot (what should be?)
the word fuck makes me so not (what should be?)
2 cheese slices and a soda
4.99 at the corner
makes me think of only you
even when i dont want to
what should be??????
what should be
AW HEY BAMBINO
THOUGHT I KNEW BUT I DONT KNOW
WHAT SHOULD BE
I don’t think anorexic is pretty
you tell me you think I’m too skinny
I don’t know what to say
I just sulk and turn away
You don’t know what you did
I think that is stupid
I think that is stupid!
it’s stupid! That’s stupid!
that’s stupid that’s stupid
I sit in job interview attire
Sweat under thighs, too-hot coffee and spit it out
Now I don’t care about being cool
For anyone but you
Now I don’t care about being cool
For anyone but you
Are you a mirage? Or are you not?
When I come to and I’m on the floor
You are right there just like before
Just like a movie you pet me smoothly you are so handsome
why am i underwater?
(June 11, 2013)
aren't you someone's something?
aren’t you your boyfriend’s girlfriend
aren’t you your brother’s sister
aren’t you your parent’s daughter
aren’t you your best friend’s acquaintance
aren’t you your hamster’s owner
aren’t you your dealer’s stoner
aren’t you that band’s girl bassist
aren’t you a student faceless
aren’t you an ant in the cosmos
aren’t you a franklin at starbucks
aren’t you elaine from seinfeld
aren’t you a kid from the city?
hi my name is franklin cosmos
and i am in love with ronald
and i don’t know exactly who else i am
but i know i am person with my own name
aren’t you your boyfriend’s girlfriend
aren’t you your brother’s sister
aren’t you your parent’s daughter
97th street park bench
my sweatshirt was all wet
and that thing with my leg
when i layed inside my bed
i am your secret
no one would believe it
so i will stay a secret
i thought it was wonderful
stealing drinks from home depot
you say you love me and miss me
but disappear after you kiss me
at my weakest i am sleepless
my weakness is your secret
i am your secret
i was your secret
and i will remain a secret
just without you? you wanna stay here though? ok:
i made a couple clay apples
but i didn’t notice they were clay apples
til i took a bite i noticed i took a bite i noticed
i asked a boy for an apple juice carton
and he brought me back more than an apple juice carton
and the only picture that i ever took of him
was beside that apple tree in the garden
but i didn’t know that tree would
i didn’t know that tree would never grow
that tree would never grow
i am growing taller by the minute
but i don’t a bed without you in it
cause every street sign reads: zentropy
zentropy
i only smoke when i drink and i only flirt when i smoke
and i only drink every night and i only love you as a joke
and every street sign reads: zentropy
zentropy
i’m the worst girl ever
i’m the worst girl ever cause when i feel in love with you
i know it’s just nostalgia
when i feel in love with you
i know it’s just nostalgia for the way it was with you
before we found out all the stuff about my body
i’m the worst girl ever
and you don’t make me feel much better
when i feel in love with you
i know it’s just nostalgia for the way it was with you
before we found out all the stuff about my brain
my brain
i’m the worst girl ever
and you don’t make me feel much better
i am glad you’re happy even though it means i lost you as a friend
and this song is for everyone i lost because i took myself so seriously
cause you could be anyone it doesn’t matter to me
i’m really glad you’re happy even though it means i lost you as a friend
and this song is for everyone i lost because i took myself so seriously
cause you could be anyone it doesn’t matter to me
i can’t believe i wanted to marry you
thank god that dream wasn’t true
i thought you were so lucky
but i was wrong
i only found out when you told me
cause i still call you my best friend
even when we do not spend
every day together
i know it’s funny but it’s true
cause girl i’m just not over you
my baby is a flirt right where it hurts
and i’m really glad you’re happy even though it means i lost you as a friend
cause you could be anyone it doesn’t doesn’t matter to me
YOU SAY YOU WANNA PAINT
BUT THEN YOU JUST YELL
AND I GET FIFTEEN TEXTS IN A ROW
FROM MY FRIEND WHO JUST LEFT TOWN
PLEASE STOP SINGING SO LOUD
CAUSE WE SHARE A HOUSE
AND YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO PAINT
BUT NOW YOU’RE JUST YELLING
I DON’T WANNA BE HERE
frankie cosmos is not lucrative
you say the stars are made of velvet
i say is it really?
i say the stars are made of velvet
you really had me
i am the princess and you are the pea
that’s why you sleep under me
we sleepwalk into the fog
you are the dolly and i am the dog
say it to my face
otherwise i’ll never realize
frankie cosmos is not lucrative
greta go back to school
you are being selfish if you do not tell me
frankie cosmos is not lucrative
greta go back to school
if you tell me i’ll just think you’re mean
and i’ll keep doing it anyway
frankie cosmos is my name
i forget my game
i’m seriously glad you’re alive (bonus track)
my friend matthew tried to die
in the bathroom and i
4 years later i
came to that room and i
i thought i
i really thought i
i really thought i wanted to do that thing you did
i really thought i wanted to do that thing you did
when you hurt your head
but i don’t wanna do that
i don’t wanna do that
i was born famous
and i ready to be a waitress
and i really love you ronnie
and i wonder what do you think of me?
what do you love the most in the world?
told you so
(May 9, 2013)
and i’m still figuring out what it’s like having a house
havin a house
good to hear you feel it too cause i look up to you
look up to you
wow and when i think back you all treated me so so bad
i love you but you’re so fucked up
told you so told you so
told you so
i am crying at the diner
you are having wine with her
see what you did
i’m losing it
you are placid like a lake
even when i’m in your wake
saying “look at me, i’m naked”
you don’t even look
you are dusty like a book
wow
and when i think back you all treat me so bad
so so bad
jess thinks i’m iconic
so i wonder
how’s it possible
that you don’t even love me enough?
that you don’t even love me enough?
jess thinks we’re iconic
do you even wanna be iconic with me?
when you don’t even like me enough?
you don’t even like me enough!
i write a thousand songs: for you for you for you
i write a thousand songs: for you for you for you
doesn’t matter cause you can’t hear the words
doesn’t matter cause you can’t hear the words
i say stupid stuff at the show: to you to you to you
i say stupid stuff at the show: to you to you to you
doesn’t matter cause you can’t hear the words
doesn’t matter cause you can’t hear the words
i write you a love letter and leave it on your desk
in my lazy script and leave it on your bed
doesn’t matter cause you can’t read the words
doesn’t matter cause you can’t read the words
can’t get you offa my mind, can’t get your outta my head
i don’t wanna have to die, i just wanna be dead
doesn’t matter cause you can’t hear the words
doesn’t matter cause you can’t hear the words
i write a thousand songs: for you for you for you
little debbies cosmic brownies
we all know that this is the only deli in manhattan that carries little debbie’s cosmic brownies
but we’re too stoned to buy them we’re too stoned to buy them
mean song/its the same with every boy
when i look at you i feel like dying
when i’m alone i’m always crying
i don’t want to date you anymore
i just want to be normal
we all know the only deli in manhattan that carries little debbie’s cosmic brownies
is right across the street from 41 monroe st.
but we’re stoned to buy them & we’re too stoned to eat them
when i look at you i feel like dying
when i’m alone i feel like crying
i don’t want to live with you anymore
i just want to be normal
i do what i
have to do
this is when i say my i love you
this is when i say my i love you
i do what i
have to do
this is why i say my i love you
this is why i say my i love you
and if i die
tell the world
how he talks to me like ive imagined
how he talks to me like ive imagined
it all
it all
if i drop a pea
youre not here to pick it up for me
in the kitchen
i miss him
joejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoe
i do what i
have to do
this is when i say
my i love you
how can i leave how can i leave
something that died so suddenly
you were my computer
i have no backup for my sweet laptop
i need you to record this song
but you won’t turn on
how could you do me so so wrong?
computer i’ll always love you
that summer I played a lot solitaire
thought about how I wanted to love you enough to miss you
a real small room I played like I was furniture
thought about how I wanted to love missing you enough to love you
so I thought about everything we talked about but we didn’t talk about anything
next summer I thought about the summer in that small room
cringy song I wrote for you
hated it enough to miss you
and my spirit floated just the fuck outta me
and I waved goodbye to it
living since has been a wobbly trip
I could tell you all about it
but I thought about everything I thought about
but I didn’t think about anything
little soap slipping out a hole in my eardrum
kicking softly
wanted to poke on but I got such a weak belly
whimperer thinking about me and my grievances
weakness, doofus, champion of nothing
just collosal time waster
but this 3 minutes will be such a distraction
just a momentary lapse in form
dumb garage rock for some stupid girl I don’t miss
her face floating in nothingness
and if you wanted to hear about my fear of this apple core
it should have made me miss you more
but I say no how i’ll just go floating on my way
every day all day
every day all day
I could be in a bad mood every day all day
I could in be a bad mood every day all day
I could in be a bathrobe every day all day
I could in be in the bathroom every day all day
put on some Arthur Russell see how fast I change
it’s embarrassing
-Krill
love rind
(April 14, 2013)
i play the first note
i play the second note
before i can sing
i cant sing
im crying
im too clumsy
so no one loves me
i broke zennie
and then he left me i'm crazy
i dont live on your time
cause this brain aint yours its mine
and i dont wanna do
what you wanna do
well every dogs gotta die
but no one knows why
i got the blues
it's all about you
i cry to my boss
cause i dont cry a lot
and i got no idea
how to be a grown up
i dont live on your time
cause this brain aint yours its mine
and i dont wanna do
everything with you
set your parents house on fire
you’re a bum you’re no fun
i don’t care what you wear
it’s about how you feel
you don’t feel you’re not real
you just steal people’s hearts
and you tear them apart
so now we’re not friends
but i can pretend
that i feel fine
yea i don’t mind
i’ll set your parents house on fire
the only times i ever see you is in my dreams
got something to tell you, gonna make you scream
you might’ve strung me along but i still like hearing your songs
though they aren’t still about me
i’ll watch you play i just need whiskey
all the girls wanna kiss you
i dreamt you told me “i miss you”
i was so fucked up i was lying in the street
when i called you i thought you were being mean
well i know it takes a lot to be nice to me
wouldn’t want you waste all your energy!!!!
set your parents house on fire
mr. monkey
when the fruit is all gone
and he tells you it is time
then the time has come
to eat the love rind the love rind
to eat the love rind to eat the love rind
i'll be in the corner wobbling
once again most probably
he'll be the one not acknowledging
that i'm standing right here right here
standing right here standing right here
he'll do anything to die
i'll do nothing but cry
frank the dog sings along
we eat the love rind the love rind
he eats the love rind the love rind
my tissues
feel like aloe tissues
they're just filled with snot
they are normal tissues
my body is a temple
thats why we fuck in it
and you are a genius
you're just not feeling with it
*The farmer plants corn
But he grows gold corn
Breaks his family's teeth
The Moral Is: NEver PLAnt CORN!!!!!*
you ask me "are you hungry"
but i thought you said "do you love me"
and i wonder why i heard that
maybe im just dreamy
i'm scared of my feelings
thats why i am reeling
do you feel it too?
is it sad for you?
me too
just because i am a certain age
doesn't mean that i am any older
than i was yesterday
cause i get all flushed and ugly
wonder how ever he loved me
i am so clumsy
i think how repulsive to you
it must be when i refuse
to do the things you want me to
i hate everyone in this town
so i walk around with my head down
and sit alone
sometimes i just want you joejoe
but i know that that is no no
its so impossible
well i can’t take you off of my speed dial
and you can’t take me off of your mind
well greta doesn’t like it but i don’t wanna be “whipped”
and i can’t take your name off of my hip
and that is why i call you anyway
and tell her you’re not going anywhere
i got a girl with brown hair
and i can’t get her off of me
and she gets sooooo jealous
but i don’t know what do but go about it
cant get you off of my mind cant get you outta my head i dont wanna have to die i just wanna be dead
everyones bored cause they dont know what to do, i wanna have a secret romance with you
all that poetry is mine
i heard you like it through the grape vine
shut up shut up (fine by me, I named ronnie ronnie, and its a new decade, so why do you care so much, i’m the girl with the velvet touch)
and i finally talked to god
so im not afraid of murder now
soon
my honeys gonna love me
soon
my honeys gonna touch me
this life is small
and i got no intentions
soon
someday ill tell my daughter eliza
just try to make the same mistakes that ive done
they're pretty fun
but when the fun is over
you'll get hungover
thats why the moon is not a quarter
it's probably a dime
if you cut the seed in half
and then you cut that in half
then you cut it in half
and then you have that
its nothing
thats the thing
that we are made of
i have black dots on my teeth
if you cut them in half
and then you cut that in half
cut it in half
and you have
nothing
thats the thing
that i'm made of
i just want to be found if i die
cut that in half
and if i cut it in half
then i have that
its nothing
little blushing girl 2009 in 2013
little blushing girl
toilet flushing swirl
im just a heartbroken arcade token
wear my pretty shirt
fall down in the dirt
im just a heartbroken arcade token
wanted me to fall in love
dont know who im dreamin of
im just a heartbroken arcade token
walkin in the park
laughter in the dark
im just a heartbroken arcade token
my name is frankie cosmos and i live next to a fire station
you are so obsessed with the past
and i am so obsessed with the future
you are so obsessed with yourself
and i am so obsessed with you too
you are so surrounded by the past
and i am so fixated on the future
you are so surrounded by yourself
and i am so surrounded by you
but you know i want to
i am not sly
i cannot leave without saying goodbye
hold my calls
i wanna do nothing at all
i am not you
my feet are too big for ladies shoes
i am just god
i found him deep inside my head
planet earf
is a great place
planet earf
is a great place
cause he's the handsomest boy on planet earf
cause he's the handsomest boy on planet earf
planet earf
is a great place
planet earf
is a great place
cause he's the handsomest boy on planet earf
all of my art
gets made in a rush
dont tune my guitar
and dont clean my paintbrush
i was so in love
that i forgot
how much i hated
dating
cause he's the handsomest boy on planet earf
planet earf
is a great place
planet earf
is a great place
cause he's the handsomest boy on planet earf
you wait
two weeks to tell me
you wait
two weeks to tell me
and even then
i have to ask
even then
i have to ask
hold my calls
im digging myself into a hole in the wall
i dont wanna be
in my 20s
when my dad will be
70
i dont wanna be
23
when you are 30
i think about you all of the time
in this way you are mine
but i want to be in love with someone
who i dont think about all the time
cause he's the handsomest boy on planet earf
cause hes the stupidest boy on planet earf
love song DEMO (bonus track)
i really loved craig and i kinda loved ethan
but i didn’t know what love was back then
now i see me and i’m out of the scene and i’m
living downtown with the boy of my dreams
love song! i know i’m doing it wrong!
but when i am not looking directly at you
i can’t remember why i love you
so stop turning away but i’m the one who likes your head shaved
the only one who loves you more than you love yourself
LOVE SONG! i KNOW i’m doing it WRONG!
my body is a temple: let’s fuck in it!
moss
(February 5, 2013)
i shiver and you crawl i come when you call
i came i saw i was conquered
i went crazy i was crazy
i saw you you came too
pourin beers into cups i cant look at you enough
diggin holes in the sand letting go of your hand
it was fake a big mistake
now i am all set with everything left
i crawled into a locker
and came and saw i was conquered
i saw you you came too
now i just wait alone in my room for the fan letters to roll in
i leave my window open and wait for them
now i just sit here alone in my bed and wait for him to roll in
i leave the bedroom door open and wait for him
now i just think of a poem in my head and wait for angels to roll in
i leave my legs wide open and wait for it
you are my first love i am your second love
i wake up every day and wait til 10am
to knock on your door so we can hang out
you are my best friend
i am your second best friend
your mom says you are still asleep
i am lonely no leonie i hang with my doggies
you have more dogs than me
you are my first love
i am your second love
i think i saw my dog
lying on the couch
i think i saw my dog
lying on the ground
i dont even remember
what i
felt like
when i wrote this
song
i am just aaron's girlfriend i don't have my own friends
and to think i was just bragging about how you didn't care
my honey loves math like me
my honey looks back at me
puts his hand on my back
what the heck
and i'm a witch and you are too
and we will have our witches brew
you come to me
into my ronnie
i learned about honey
from your body
when lovers cry they close their eyes
and you ain't magic sit with me
i thought i knew to careen is the bravest thing
you're a piece of cake and i'm a belly ache
you may have plucked me out of my own dream world
we never f*cked or even kissed
i’m out of luck next to all of your dream girls
but you’re the one who made my first love pissed
driving in circles between you and him
why do i circle and scream while you grin?
sky getting dark and my car wheels are thin
down in the park wanna go for a spin?
i keep on moving cause i can’t decide
around and around in between twin guys
older and drunk and looking in my eyes
liars and punks with their hands on my thigh
……..
i’m the only one drunk
oh there’s aaron that punk
i would like to kiss him
but i’ll just ask can i go with him
my friend is leaving town
oh won’t he please bring me down
murder lurks in the dark
traffic jam revenge in the yard
two best friends in a car
we can’t get very far
when we get to the party
there’s a funeral going on
i’m the only one there
oh there’s aaron that slayer
i would like to see him
all the boys wanna be him
im just really missing today
everything's floating so far away
brush your teeth with superglue he told me
it's only fair to you shadowy
when you get shadowy i find my shadows
shadowy i find my shadow
im just really missing today
everybody's floating so far away
he told me to brush my teeth with superglue
it's only fair to you
yes no maybe
i don't know
can you repeat the question
you're not the boss of me now
and you're not so big
life is unfair
-They Might Be Giants
pouring beers into cups i can’t look at you enough
digging holes in the sand letting go of your hand
mmm time moves differently here
and i don’t believe you but everything’s moving so clear
and being stoned is fun but i’m dying
it makes me so sad that’s why i’m always crying
on the wrong side of this revolt
there’s a boy doing what he’s told
and my ears are red ‘cause you’re too nice
and i won’t be sad ‘cause i don’t wanna cry
mmm time moves differently here
the waves are big and i know death is always near
even when it’s not but there’s always a sign that i survived another day
get on my bike like a cloud and float the night away
on the wrong side of this rebellion
there’s a supernatural boy waiting for you to tell him
time moves differently here
and i’m stoned but i think i love you dearly in my heart
my heart and your heart
i think they’ve been connected from the start
time is moving so weird
everyone is gone
i turn the light on
he shook me around drove on
the wrong side of the road
a bakers dozen of bad affairs but along came ronnie
i climb up the space between
i'm bitter like olives
that's why you like them and i don't
rarely
i spend eighty dollars
red-mouthed
hulking
i stand beside ali in the mirror
hulking
that's why you like me and i don't
it's alright i don't love you
i just want i just want to
don't worry bout me thinkin of you
it's just my idea of you
oh when i thought you were feeling sad
i just didn't realize you didn't care aaaaah
its alright i don't love you aaaah
i just kinda wanted to
i don't know what house he lives in but i know what block he lives on
i figure if i go enough i'll see him but he's always gone
but sometimes i see his mom and she says
who are you get away from my stoop who are who are you
and i say i dont know and i walk away who are who are you
Wobbling
(January 9, 2013)
i went wobbling around
down the stairs to the yard
i went wobbling around
blue couch cold mouth
i was wondering about
all the pictures on the walls
i was wobbling about
in your room in the halls
i went wobbling around
i saw you
in the yard
i went wobbling around
your town
i went wobbling around iiii went wobbling around
invisible
im the kind of girl buses splash with rain
look mom i'm hobbling through
i am gonna be a painter too
i make my canteen so heavy
as if i need anymore water today
but we are not young and this isn't a party
i guess i should leave this party with little bear
im the kind of girl who doesn't care
cause we are not young and this isnt a party
with a shy grin
and a silent tip of a forty
every night i’ve been keeping alone
i’ve been sleeping alone i got the shakes yesterday
dry season
old man have you been crying?
the seasons drying
your friends are dying
don’t dry your eyes
be more courageous
i think tornado is contagious
put a gun in your pocket put a gun in your pocket
put a gun in your pocket
its raining here and im swelling up with you
scaffolds and canopies
droplets face as if it were your own
where do you find time for all this brooding?
how can you say i am moody?
emotional outbreak
emotional outbreak
cause i'm cosmic
emotional outbreak
cause i'm cosmic
*
I am shy to begin with
this is the diagnosis
Eliza says part of it’s the depression making me feel alienated
but I think mostly it’s just being cooler than everyone else
germany takes you from me
last time I had this wine
you were just a waste of time
what do people do in times like this?
just what exactly do they do?
*
where do you find time for all this brooding?
how can you say i am moody?
emotional outbreak
cause i'm cosmic
i love the strange in your strange
i built my home on your range
i slam around and i scream
nobody can look at me
"so go and kiss your best friend on the mouth"
the angelic dismount
now that my dogs gone there's no reason to see anyone
unrequited love sex way up high above sex
i called a million times i wanna see those theyes
train investigation stuck in the train station
meet me up the hill i'll be standing still
dirt inside the ground
loud sky makes no sound
isn't it profound
how you can let me down?
what's going on theres water coming out?
all my life my eyes had a drought
you took away every hint of doubt with your painting that says always on it
unrequited love sex
way up high above sex
i called a million times i wanna see thoseth eyes
thingy thingy
i stopped caring a while ago
i think i'm in new mexico
thingy
i see thingy in the deli
i see thingy in the bookstore
i've got this hunger let me get yr number
sometimes i do not solve the puzzle in time
thingy
thingy
columbus avenue calms me down
even through a nauseous rain cloud
poetry is this thing where you talk and talk on the balcony and someone tells you it was pretty good
then you slow down and curl up under a big dirty blanket and start to boil over til morning when you stand up and do poetry again
thingy
thingy
thingy
THINGY
i am lonely i am sad and it's only
been two days since you are dead
my love loves satan
i'm in love with his hating
when i am lonely
i write to leonie
i wipe my earwax in library books
i get by on my honeys good looks
my honeys good looks
i wear maria's shirt til my eyes hurt
i kiss joana's soft head i love my foreign friends
i'm 18 and already want to change the way i spend
the old day to day
my love loves satan i'm in love with his hating when i am lonely
i write to leonie
i miss fila i dont care though i still feel something marching around at home
lost a lot of men there we dont care though someones gonna come and carry us all home
hands so sore yr never gonna make any more bread so clean i'll try to take yer mind off some things
we make pornos we dont care though showing off the colors hang it up at home
i did it just because i needed to be soled
-Milk Ghost
you have no idea about me/i eat grilled cheese
no more handsome boys/take me out to the ball game
driving up
driving up
driving up with my honey driving up
hey whats up
hey whats up
driving up to the country
driving up
waking up
waking up
waking up with my honey
waking up
driving up
driving up
driving up to the country driving up
leonie
im lonely
put pipe cleaner gold around me
leonie
im lonely
im sitting where we'd sit but now it's different
meet me at the pier
cigarettes and beer
i'll cut your hair i don't care
germany
takes you from me
emotional outbreak cause i'm cosmic
where do you find time for all this brooding?
where do you get off calling me moody?
emotional outbreak
emotional outbreak
cause I'm cosmic
emotional outbreak
cause I'm cosmic
LOSING
(November 27, 2012)
leonie
im lonely
put pipe cleaner gold around me
leonie
im lonely
i'm sitting where we'd sit
but now its different
meet me at the pier
cigarettes and beer
i'll cut yr hair i dont care
germany
takes you from me
joejoe
you go
ive never lost something before
and i cant stop clinging
i just want my dog back
is that too much to ask?
and i just keep thinking
everything smells like water
swallowed by the earths disorder
my brother's angry grief busts my lip
and my dogs bad hip
he was just a dog
now his bodies gone
so what is left but me and my poem?
i am just a normal girl
but my name is frank
i just wanna get taken
on a date
all the crazies on the bus
love me so much
i laugh at all the lights
and feel a little right
what is coffee and what is wine?
i dont mind if you don't mind
honey you're always so sad
cats out of the bag
i'm sad too
dad made the appointment
to kill my best friend
there goes my fear of death
i just want my dog back
is that so much to ask?
"i wish that
i could kiss his paws" [-Krill]
art school makes you wild
real school makes you wanna get high
high school makes you crazy
high school made me cry
i am shy to begin with
this is the diagnosis
i cant focus
and i cant keep up cause im always running away
all your friends are drunk and wild
all my friends are depressed
my daddy is a fireman
and yours is an actress
i wont go
i wont go
i wont go
i wont go
i wont go
i wont go
i wont go
i wont go
joejoe won't you let me kiss you one last time before you go
leave go
heres a picture of my bruise
i'm thinking of youse
cause im over here
oh LOSING IT oh
losing
i dont want another dog
hey mom i'm losing it
i'm losing
woodchip arthur and his sweaty palms
(November 14, 2012)
i am dead
i am dead i am dead i am dead
i will never marry i will never marry i will never marry you
i will never die i will never die i will never be dead
you are in my bed i am in your bed
cmon greta cmon ronnie
i miss the woods i miss the woods
you haven’t even looked you haven’t even looked
he always looks at me, he always looks
cmon greta cmon ronnie
eli you dont gotta do it
eli and sam
this here dog will take me off your hands
the wind can’t die, the dust storm cries
i am alive and i am dead
all my friends are friends of friends
all my friends are friends of friends
i’m too shy
all my songs are older songs
all my songs are other songs
i get by
re-using old tunes
i just wanna be a grown-up too
tell me everything you do
i am the moss between the bricks
you are the henry in the air
i just wanna touch you lightly
but if you wanna hold me tightly
i don’t care
a bird flies against a car window
bring the moon to a boil til it curdles
“you have nothing to live up to
you have nothing to live down” [-The Field Mice]
stuy town is empty so why do i call it stuy town?
my daddy is a fireman
my daddy is a fireman
he is brave he is strong
my daddy is a fireman
he is brave he is strong
today he is here
tomorrow he’s gone
i went down to the water
and i began to wonder
about you about me
and i turned bright orange
under the weight of the
ways i thought i saw you
how i thought you saw me
i saw you at the show
but i was a seashell to you
november grey my head is filled with noise for you
there’s these holes in the clouds that peek through like you do
from the blankets
the pavement is hard and i push hard upon it
i’m gonna paint u with glow in the dark paint
you’re gonna hate me with glow in the dark hate
i wrap myself up in you
i watch myself under you
i figure out what you are
all along the FDR
this is another song about dogs:
joejoe wet and warm
molly bright and proud
duncan old and cool
and now: me
drooling in my sleep
me drooling my sleep
“you look like an artist”
that’s what my art teacher said to me
on the first day of class
i don’t even think he looked at me
i think he just knew who i was
because he had heard about my parents
(i am turning red i am turning orange)
i don’t think anyone knows
who i am
i’m duncan
I’m joe joe
duncan
i loved you big
i loved you small
now i love you
not at all
its a night of old flames
but what else is new?
our only friends
are you and you
my eyelashes are getting twisted together
my eyelashes are getting tangled up
my orange juice is red paint and water
thanks for everything
(August 8, 2012)
i dreamed you were in my dreams
do you really mind me?
i dreamed you were in my dreams
do you really mind me?
i went back to sleep
i felt so dreamy
and i wrote poetry
dreamed that i made paintings
i dreamed you were all a dream
dreamed everybody hated me
“he laughs and he acts as though he’s pleased with himself
but it’s only to fool everyone else”
i dreamed we went to par-ee
i dreamed that you really loved me
i woke up and brushed my teeth
i woke up and went back to sleep
i buried my face in the ground
i saw you walking around
your dreamy small town
the suburbs swampy grey and brown
“he laughs and he acts as though he’s pleased with himself
but sometimes he can only fool himself”
i’m not scared of the water
rocks in my pockets doesn’t really matter
i live inside a world of cotton-wool
i live inside of everybody’s street lamps
hi my name is franklin cosmos
and i am in love with Ronald
i break my own heart like apples
i drink my love’s blood like Snapple
we come home from our trip to France
he is wearing his new jacket and pants
and if i simply say “the seine”
it'll be most beautiful thing i ever said
so fuck writing music
if you see something it’s yours
i break my own heart
every time we part
i think "he can’t love me anymore"
when you aren’t here
i can’t wait to see Eliza dear
every night in France we drank wine
i don’t wanna do it
i don’t wanna do it
it’s a waste of my time
i got other things on my mind
i don’t wanna stay here
i just wanna leave here
watching the day go by
what a waste of my time
i have a lot of friends
i don’t have any friends
i never see them
slow summer
i can’t get out of bed
my paintings are all bad
when i feel upset
slow summer
why do i feel so undone?
boy are you tough
but boy am i tougher
i buried my heart where it can’t be uncovered
nothing to hate
live in the lake
sleepy mistake
slow summer
why do i feel so undone?
bold summer freeze everyone
you’re like a beauty mark on my life
making art in the orange light
of the train station i once died in
suburbs are haunting and our love was secret
your lawn was daunting but i couldn’t keep it
close in my memory do you ever dream of me
we never listened to Supper cause you always loved her
i hated that blue couch
i hated your cold mouth
but if i told you what i need you’d hate me
i’m made of seashell when i don’t feel well
i’m made of fingernails i push mine through your hair
mystery lies in your breast
cause i just forgot your chest
the moon is bright where we got stoned
and i hate you all over again
i threw out another painting today
i don’t think i’ll ever understand
i wouldn’t even have these thoughts
if it weren’t for a single love note
and Gwen my dream rolls on the lawn
naked with her shirt still on
hair in a flurry, 2 and a half valium
yesterday i put on fresh clothes and wept to mom
but i’m good luck today today i am just fine
i just love my problems and turn beet red while i try
and serge & i fall asleep in the laundry room together
i pet his head and kiss his knees and tell him i’m sorry
i need your dust in my eyes to learn about you
you want me to figure it out myself
you make me crazy and then you make me eggs
we are the sun on their backs
you are my arms
you are my legs
you make me crazy then you make me eggs
i am the flower in your hair
you are the poppy in my teeth
the second we turn the rest of the road
looks pitch black to everyone
it all comes down to me
and i don’t care about anybody
and in the pitch black
we live inside our radio
i’m asleep and it’s dark and i ate
and no one knows
it all comes down
to me
and i don’t care about anybody else
some day i’ll tell my daughter eliza
just try to make the same mistakes that i’ve done
they’re pretty fun
but when the fun is over
you get hungover
that’s the moon is not a quarter it’s probably a dime
i mostly sit at home these days and make paintings by myself
when will somebody tell me to stop hating everyone else?
and the ceiling fan slows down and falls fast asleep
and i’m walking home to my lovers house across the street
and i can’t see a thing in the dark and i’m wondering
where’s the dog well he’s home with his hips sprawled out
on the bed and he somehow hits his head
and this is what i said
you’ve got a lot of life to start living
hey mister can i bum one of those things
it was the hottest day casual cocaine
“darling theres a gun in the garland” [- Silver Jews]
rolling pins on sore legs french toast fried eggs
sitting in tymon’s attic i
am thinking about god
sitting in tymon’s attic i
realize its actually doug’s
tymon isn’t coming today
tymon isn’t at the cafe
tymon isn’t coming today
cause tymon moved away
I love my brother Owen
though I do not know him
I only dream of you
sometimes Eliza too
it's raining in my head
I cry and eat my bread
my tears are what I spread
on convoluted meals
icicles hanging in caves
have very special names
I love my honey's lungs
I kiss him on the tongue
ronnie & frank holding hands at the bank
undoing what I've done will not have been much fun
it’s easy to look happy when your heart is broke
put on your biggest clothes mama put on some bigger clothes
don’t scowl at me, it’s not my fault
i’m on your side i’ve been sad for years
‘cause there’s a heart in my heart and a brain on my brain
because my hands are my hands
and babe i’m insane
all my day dreams got rained out
are my lovers real i cannot tell
just pretend you’re fine to the girl in line
i don’t talk to my friends ‘cause i wanna be alone again
and everyone says “what” like it’s nothing
when your heart is in something
smoking pot with dad
around daddy thinks I am profound
go back to the river
bad reaction to the future
when lovers die
that's why
you taste like coffee and you smell like pot
I can't tell the difference anymore thanks a lot
i'm not who you think I am
yes you are
separation anxiety
(June 15, 2012)
and some days they come back
and some days they come back
and i’ve been trout fishing in the east
and i’ve been trout fishing in the west
and i’ve been trout fishing all over this town
and i’ve been trout wishing you were around
and some days they come back
some days they come back
and you left the great gatsby at my house
you left the great gatsby at my house
and some days they come back
and some days they come back
and you left your baseball cap
and you left your baseball hat
and some days they come back
my dan
i don’t know why it matters so much
i know why it matters so much
i am keeping the guitar
i am keeping the guitar
i am keeping the guitar
song i wrote on the train back from your house
my heart is broken i don’t know what to do
i don’t have a clue, no i don’t have a clue
my heart is broken, its got me feeling blue
my heart ain’t working cause its in love with you
my hearts so sad now its got me feeling angry
my hearts been crying cause its just baby
my heart is broken its got me feeling blue
my heart ain’t working cause its in love with you
its in love with u
greta? yea
i’ve been working every day
to keep myself insane
even when he goes away, i find myself in place
i’m insane
i’m insane
dont think twice it's all right by bubdylon
“Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Iffin you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do some how
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm traveling on
Don't think twice, it's all right
And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was something you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talking anyway
But don't think twice, it's all right
so it ain't no use in calling out my name, gal
Like you never did before
And it ain't no use in calling out my name, girl
I can't hear you any more
I'm thinkin' and a-wondering walking down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I am told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right
So long honey babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
Goodbye is too good a word, gal
So I just say fare thee well
I ain't saying you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right”
-Bob Dylan
wind and carrotsticks
wind and carrotsticks
my youth is something that is gone
my youth is something that is gone
and eliza’s still around
but my brain is in the ground
wind
when i was thirteen
i thought i knew everything
but now i’m just the wind
quiet birds, nightmares
sometimes you’re so quiet i forget you’re there
and i guess it’s pretty nice that our toothbrushes were
kissing this morning
in my neil young slumber
i feel so much younger than you
note the smog above my home
kiss my dog when i’m alone
you spit upon the holy one
and i am a bowling ball
throwing up in the hall
please hear my desperate plea: do not do not ruin me
lady forest in the dirt
ghosts hot-glued onto her shirt
but i can close my shadow another way
by shutting my eyes the shadow disappears
i dont care what you do
as long as you do it to me
cause i’m in love with you
jewelry lasts forever
so does a love letter
but sometimes that seems wrong
so maybe i’ll write you a 3 minute song
or maybe we’ll eat a 30 second donut
or maybe you’ll make me laugh for a moment
but it doesn’t really matter how much time goes by
cause nothing really matters since zennie died
its all i can do to keep the zen alive
when i’ve got you on my mind
i don’t think about time
i wanna fight dirty, i wanna bite you
i wanna feel flirty, i wanna watch you
slide in and out of my body
nothing about me is good how could you love me?
as i passed the church the other day
church bells chimed at me as if to say:
“o holy one, you’re doing it the right way
you’re doing it the right way”
and i’m fine i was just shocked
L.A. skyline about 2 o’clock
in the morning
you helped me out without a warning
you are on my mind
but i do not mind
oh holy one
your love is of the right kind
your love is of the right kind
field day got rained out
so we all sat around
and talked about television
i’m in love with a bowling ball
cry alone in the mammal hall
i wanna live on a farm with you
and maybe we’re flirts but we’d never cheat on each other
you yawn at me
like my therapist
in therapy i talk about everybody i’ve ever kissed
everybody’s yawning
every single morning
when they wake up next to
people who are boring
field day got rained out
so we all sat around
and thought about television
(you think you are happy
just because you aren’t looking at me
i think you’ll be fine
if you just get me off your mind)
birth of penis
(April 25, 2012)
do you see me for what i really am?
i betray my friends
i’m a bully
i push you in the dirt to give myself power
i’m a bully
(do you see me for what i really am?)
but sometimes i feel scared
(nobody wants to be my friend)
it feels like nobody cares about me
i know that it’s wrong what i’ve done to write these songs
(i hurt you)
i’m a bully
it’s just my sad sexy hunky dreaming
sun rises over chicago my eliza lives in dreamland
sad golden hunk
totem pole totem pole leave me alone totem pole
i drank dran-o in my dream
i do not know what that means
suicide is distant thing
i don’t know what i felt when it was happening
my feelings are sacred, my feelings are fun,
you ruined my feelings for everyone
lightbulb get drunk bathtub get stoned
i am not alone
can’t write you a love song
next to yours it just feels wrong
but i don’t care it doesn’t matter to me
i’ll just say it: i love your eyes your butt your teeth
you are what you shit
take a look in my toilet
other girls get empowered
but tonight i am just a flower
when everybody is eating bread
you are in my head
when everybody is dead
we are in my bed
our love is of the cosmic kind
daylight and love letters written just right
when it’s warm out i’ll kiss you in the dug-out
write your name in script in my mouth
with your tongue it’s pretty fun
what i’ve done to write these songs i know its wrong
i’m a bully
i play my loves guitar
but he is very far from me
i play a G
when i get bored i play a E chord
and sing harmonies through my teeth
by myself i am sitting on a shelf
all alone and he is on a throne
at a bar very far away from here
so i play my loves guitar
he is very far from me
i play a G
and then an E minor
to show i think of thee
sickerwinter
(April 9, 2012)
i wanna fight dirty i wanna bite you
i wanna feel flirty i wanna watch you
slide in out of my body
nothing about me is good how could you love me?
so you think you are frustrated?
well you aren’t frustrated
til you find yourself in someone else
then you cannot find yourself
so you think you are frustrated?
well you aren’t frustrated
til you cannot find your health
then you find yourself in someone else
field mouse hurries ‘cross my legs
in the grass i sway
let them scurry while we lay
pink mice blue water better days
as i passed the church the other day
church bells chimed at me as if to say
oh holy one you’re doing it the right way
oh holy one you’re doing it the right way
i look like a boy
and all the boys get bored
when i try to hold their hand
i just wanna be a woman
and all the girls around me look like brats
and all the boys give me a heart attack
and i just wanna be a woman
i’m a nervous breakdown waiting to happen
i’m a ghost
i’m just a ghost
i live underground
i wish he was around
‘cause i cut ‘em all out
i let ‘em all down
i manipulate jerks
i treat ‘em like dirt
‘cause they did it first
they are much worse
it’s in your head
i’m not pretty when i’m sad
in my twin bed
the worst sleep i ever had
everybody on the street will stare
cause i’m the girl who let her boyfriend cut her hair
oh i wanna die
sun-flower eye
compliments make me cry
for now i’m fine
even when he calls me cute
i know he’s just being crude
kill the internet
and climb a mountain you just met
cant get you offa my mind
cant get you outta my head
i don’t wanna have to die
i just wanna be dead
everyones bored cause they don’t know what to do
i wanna have a secret romance with you
when i feel neglected
i know you just forgetted
throw some dirt on your face
to prove you love me and put my depression in its place
how do i get embarrassed on my own?
turning red in the comfort of my home
got a room with a view but i can only think of you
walk your dog over to me
walk your dog over to me
lets build a house in the dirt
lets build a house in the dirt
lets build a house in the dirt
lets build a house in the dirt
*
i dreamed i was wandering around
i was smothering the sound of every other thing around me
*
i’ll tell you a secret
if i think you can keep it
cause i like your personality and penis
and the secrets pretty great
and i’ll call god up to debate
that i’m a fuckin genius
*
if there is a reality and a dream world, and it is unclear where
these worlds interact:
there is no reality
*
creeps are people too.
*
drop my poem in the dirt.
*
100 bookmarks in the mail and we’re on our way handlebarring to nursery school.
*
well, if you’re beautiful in the right way, in just the right way.
*
we did but we don’t you will but you won’t
*
it’s the apocalypse and we’re a couple of slugs today. kill adults. 4. what is love? 5. hah whatever.
descending into friendship
at least i got some good love songs out of it
and if there’s a god he probably hates me
and that’s why i’ve got these marks
and if there’s a god he probably debates so much over whether or not i’m smart.
and someone better explain to him
that it’s possible to make yourself smarter without the use of the materials provided to you by the educational system
which is total shit so fuck you if you think i’m wrong
cause i’m a genius
i’m a genius
watch me use the same chords over and over again
til you think i’m a genius
we all zen
so do all our friends
on the beach
just my love and me
and in our veins
we are the same
but i am green
and you are mean
i’m just trying to be
triangle me
zen triangle home
zen skin zen flesh zen bones
apitherapy
when steve taught me how to dance thank god for his bad memory
when i feel neglected i know that you just forgetted me
and if our bodies are disposable then i don’t have to brush my teeth
i can see how to like young boys it is pretty easy
church is the last place that i saw you
it hurts but i know how to ignore you
the church where i sat between you two
the church where i crawled into the pew
and your dinky guitar and your dinky meanness
will not go very far cause i’m a genius
(about 2 years ago i had a dream, in it i was driving around and around in circles between my 2 great loves. but at the time of the dream you were not one of my two great loves yet, you were just someone i had been thinking about. i still do not know how to drive.)
around and around i’m just this way
curled over toes
toes curled over
when a girl loves a boy
that’s called lovebirds
drive faster
i can’t stand the idea of anyone thinking i’m no good
no one understands him, so no one can transcend him
art penetrates life
i was feeling pretty stupid, you were looking pretty smart
so i looked around the room and you caught my eyes you caught my heart
that same guitar was on the beach
the day that he was in my reach
but now he plays so far away
and just my feet can feel the same
i’m red-cheeked
do you still love me?
blushing about you
in therapy
what do you do
when everybody around you
is so unreliable?
you find a new friend
and you climb into bed with them
i wanna be beside you
can i come inside you
i see you in the dusk and i see you in my flower
and i see you when we touch seeing you just gives me power
and your sex is appealing when i see you in the mirror
and i see you hurt my feelings when i see you standing near her
awooga awooga
c’mon its spring show me your thing
awooga!
and tonight he wears cologne and i am home all alone
and i see you in my poem and i wish that you’d come home
cause you're sexual healing when i see you in the mirror
and I've got chemical feelings if i hear that you are nearer to me
meeeee
c’mon its summer won’t you be my drummer
awooga
much ado about fucking
(February 29, 2012)
you type your poems, breathing
i’m up here reading, seething
i hope this is right & okay
i hope you don’t leave me today
your face a rectangled smile
my tangled hair stays down all night
i woke up, watched you sleep for awhile
but some mis-use is alright
directions send wind along paths
i’d like us to take a long bath
but winds blow you this way and that
and they’re better than i am
so let me take you where the convolvuli lie
take me where the birds above paris fly
oh your face a rectangled smile
but you’re nuts to be having a blue period picasso
we eat and we sleep and we fuck and we breathe
and we smile at each other and you talk to my brother
and we all laugh, yea we all die
and one of these days one of us is gonna make the other sigh
i hope it’s not me
nobody wants to see us kiss
it’s pretty disgusting i know how it is, hannah
i’ll see you in hell
we’ll be doing pretty well cause we’ll be away from this dark place where we freak each other out
and maybe you’ll say hi and i’ll look down
or maybe i’ll say hi and you’ll look the other way through the flames
but at least we’ll be safe from that boy in the sky
i take you outside just to see how it feels
i tell you a lie just to prove that i’m real
i send love letters too soon and then oh did i even send it yet?
goddamn bad haircut boy
but i’ll never have the reaction you want
i don’t care how handsome you are
something chipmunk, chipped tooth
but i’m just planted here
you’re either really real
or you’re trying really hard
well it doesn’t matter either way
fuck you it’s working!
he’s off to work and i’m off to work
and my thoughtless jerking around makes me sick
and probably you too but i do think real things besides you
i just cant prove it, i just don’t want to
something chipmunk right now i just want you
i love you but i’m still haunted by wounds from other boys
still freckled by things far back and mere
some are still nearly gaping
but not with love, just with having been undone
and never explained
all the love of you in the cosmos couldn’t close me up
so don’t even try
just de-robe with me and widen my eyes
crybaby kiss no one else
i hate my body i hate my self
crybaby kiss someone else
i hate my brain i hate my self
i am not well-dressed, i look like a mess, and we fuck we touch
you look like a horse, you’re already bored, we’re banging heads on the floor
gaping twin bed dreams, 5th avenue screams, but you’re beaming between
he’s around my neck, you’re singing what the heck, cause it turns out i’m not what you expect
i know you love me, but sometimes it seems, i’m just part of some scheme
walked a pretty mile, along your long cold smile, got home safe earthquake
she’s around my neck, what the heck, turns out i’m not what you expect
you’re a beauty, won’t you growl at me, bite my booty won’t you kick me?
joejoe you’re a beauty, won’t you howl at me, kick my booty, won’t you kiss me?
just the other day i woke up in santa fe you were growling at me
you’re a knockout in my pink sweater ‘cause it brings out your lipstick better and everybody sees
my simpleton smells like cigarettes,
welcome to the spring in your step
today it is warm, somebody call debbie harry she needs to be warned
daddy’s doing yoga, papas doing yoga
so i’m here collapsing
passing time passing
and i suddenly slipped into my own memory
oh the poetic trials of being dimensional
why flowery boy why don’t you climb into me later?
switchblade heart breaker
my simple boy smells like cigarettes,
welcome to the spring in your step
he is a protector wolf, not a preying one
i pray that you stay that way
my boy is made out of hay
we’ve got it made
underwater aaron, guess what i am wearing?
your daddie’s coat, it smells like smoke
hey ronnie tell me a story
i’m feeling sorry please don’t ignore me
i’m running out of chords, i sound like such a bore
i’m running out of friend, i dreamt that will got famous
half a mile from your house, i can’t wait to kiss your mouth
everybody loves a cat, why you gotta be like dat?
what is ronnie? what is ben?
who are all these handsome men
i was so high and happy you liked arthur russell
thought about you so hard i pulled a brain muscle
creatures crawl into our heads
sallow boy has shaved his legs
well if she’s born with the wrong parts
how could god be so goddamn smart?
aliens and devils communicate
and my baby’s running late
sometimes when i really feel
i think a god must be real
pin pricks are annoying but a knife’ll do fine
and the bus never comes but i do sometimes
sometimes when i really feel
i know god must not be real
creatures crawl into our heads
sallow boy has shaved his legs
well how could god be so goddamn smart
if you’re born with the wrong parts?
all i want to be holding
is your hand in the morning
my friend vitti used to always smoke
cigarettes out my window
but then one day she sent me a letter saying she moved to france
she still shows up once in a while,
she never has a warning but she always has a smile
and an overcoat and she always smokes
cigarettes out that window
i say vitti my girl whats the point
while you’re here you might as well smoke a joint
and she says she doesn’t like to change the way her brain works
vitti, i say it won’t be like last time
i promise you won’t go out of your mind
she says it’s not worth a try
she tells me about this boy she’s staying with in Nice
who let her give him tattoos on his knees
that match hers they read: pippi longstocking
sometime vitti leaves in the middle of the night
vitti really hate saying goodbyes but i don’t mind
cause i’ve got this boy now who smokes cigarettes out that window
i’ve got this boy now
sometimes i hate watching mom and dad
but boy am i glad to ask you every day if you’re real
love is not a thing it’s just how i feel
five first loves wearing carhartt gloves
15 dogs on a wall i wanna kiss em all
5 first loves two of em are wearing carhartt gloves
3 of em are holding guitars
2 of em have arm scars
1 of them never loved me back
all of them never loved me back
i don’t know who i hate worse
you or your best friend
cause i’ve never had 5 first loves like i love aaron
i dreamt i lost my shoes
i dreamt i couldn’t see you
i saw him in my bed
i hurt you in my head
dreams are a scary place
dreams are leather with lace
dreams are a gnarly cunt
dreams are a fucked up stunt double of real life
fraternal twin dead wife
a baby in my body
a lady in your body
five first loves wearing carhartt gloves
16 dogs on a wall i wanna kiss em all
first kiss by the river
fall in love every winter
you said always i said never
i took your hand like a feather
you tolerate me, you wont conflate me
everyones angry, i’m not angry
i miss joey, he doesn’t know me
i got new skateboard wheels, just trying to be real
i saw the future, we’re all losers
lord knows you’re a charmer, i’ll just be a farmer
you got ur red coat on, what am i doing wrong?
i don’t know what it is, i wanna feel the grizz
do what you want to me, do what you want
i got these black eyes and they’re lit from above
and i got red eyes and i’m falling apart
i got dark eyes and i just need love
i screwed up, i’m screwed in
getting in the way just means getting in my head
and love isn’t love until one of us is dead
an existential crisis is so fucking trite
fuck these suited loft-bedded boys with their white
wine, smooth hair, good eyes
sweet-talking icicle, she doesn’t know yet she doesn’t know
glass, silver, bowtie eyes kill me despicable vulgar spy
meanwhile owen
doesn’t love me i have a brother who doesn’t love me
a sad-eyed misled bristling puppy
and a dad whose afraid of my body
since fucking when?
wake me up wiggle my toes
touch my butt pinch my nose
i don’t want to be in love with you ronnie
it hurts my arms it hurts my body
tell me where you are and i will go there
i don’t wanna die i don’t really care
let’s make spaghetti and we can eat it
i think i love you not that you need it
think about you how’s it going?
feel so lonely write a poem
i swallowed a spider not much of a fighter
i’m small and you’re larger he liked henry darger
you don’t need to look outside to know that its dusk
i don’t need to look at the clock to know its time to fuck
so put your hips on my mine
knocking wrists is fine
i get glitter in my eyes
i got pink upon my thighs
and i got minor chords outta me
and i got so drunk i forgot how to see
and i was loved by a boy named william
every night i have dreams that i kill him
and i’ve been so drunk i couldn’t move
and i forgot how to love
& i’ve been naked in ben’s kitchen
and i don’t tell him i miss him
cause now i think i like aaron
but he probably doesn’t like me back
but it probably doesn’t matter
cause your dad’s up on some ladder
and my dad’s just an actor
Kaleidescoping
(January 3, 2012)
“evil feels all hot, all slime
we have a good way about us, man
i know you so please mess around with me
yell weird its strange i’ll stop it
shouda seen the way our mom looked at me”
-lyrics from various milk ghost songs by Vishal Narang
tomato seeds/ your sleeping figure
sunbathing in the sound of your guitar
i wanna die, it’s time to die
plant a baby seed and it will grow so tall
then it will die, when it is time
i wanna be the light from the lamp next to your bed
i wanna be the sun inside your porcelain head
i saw Mars i saw Pluto
i saw the Moon i didn’t see you though
i saw Jupiter i saw Lincoln
i saw you, what was i thinkin’?
i love you, you love pumpkin
if you love joe, i’ll love duncan
you’re a heartbreaker but i got no proof
the only truth is my abuse
and all i wanna do is see you more
the bruises on my legs are such a bore
and i don’t wanna die but i don’t really care that much
i only got room in my head for one love at a time
and you didn’t wanna be mine, you didn’t wanna be mine
i’m an inappropri- it-girl
i’m a no-good-piece-of-shit girl
and i admit, girl, i broke your heart
but not before you broke mine
getting fucked up doesnt make you dead
even though it clears you from my head
i wish that i’d smoked you instead
i hate that pretty hair is red
i wanna see you more frequently
i wanna be in love secretly
pale white on a moontime light
everybody’s dancing i feel alright
my lips are warm, you’ve been warned
i’d bury my face in your shoulder
if i were a little bit bolder
but in real life we get so shy
can’t even look you in the eye
puffy lips kiss my hips
everybody’s trying to fuck me up tonight
i hate everything sounds
i hate when you aren’t around
i wish i was going to bard with you tomorrow
i think i’m gonna die right now
if i could just go to the college of ronnie
if i could just hang out with joejoe and mommy
this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever done
i feel alright fumbling with you
crumbling all night
smoked gouda in the nude
i got no guard
my heart is scarred
i had a dream
you are a dream
lets watch Buffalo 66
lock the door to my room and kiss
pretty tactless in your music
if they’ve got a name you use it
getting drunk just aint the same
without my ronnie maine
ronnie and frank
holding hands at the bank
taking out all their monies
he looks at me
a bear and a bee
fighting over their honeys
you wanna lock the door
i wanna kiss you more
laying on the floor
i hope i’m not a chore
first kiss by the river
fall in love every winter
you deign to hold my hand
i feign to understand
i don’t know what love is
i don’t think about it
but i know it’s not hormones
or at least i really doubt it
he’s already snoring
sometimes my life gets boring
all i wanna do is get comfortable with you
and sleep across your back and sleep along your legs
all i wanna do is all i wanna do is
when i cut my legs up i don’t think about it
you’re not on my mind all the fucking time
guess who’s 26 today
broke my heart and went away
i first saw him at a show
how’d i ever let him know?
guess who’s 26 today
held my hand but went away
my first heart got broken here
now i really need you near
guess who’s 26 today
broke my heart and moved away
im underwater your certain slaughter
i want my life with you to be
blue and dark and green
just like my certain dream
natural history
we kiss under a slow and strange film
separated and clean
falling in love with aaron maine
but i still been kissing whats-his-name
everybody knows where this will go
he’s moving to philly
isn’t that silly
might as well kill me
let’s be pretty let’s be cool
in the cold city let’s be cruel
i’m a little too precious and we’re both too shy
why don’t you come over we can get so high
and forget all about our fears of each other
ronnie kissed me but i got nobody to tell
i told my dog but it doesn’t matter anyhow
we forgot all about our fears of each other
ronnie didn’t get me drunk he just told me outright
ronnie didn’t get me high he just told me outright
think about the future
everyone’s a loser
lord knows i’m a charmer
i’ll just be a farmer theres
this handsome kid he never looked me in the eyes
when he finally did he came between my thighs
and i died he designed my mind
you fucked me bare but i don’t care
i love you still i’m up a hill
i’m drunk i’m high sunflower eye
i want you bad
i get so mad
at the chasms
between orgasms
at the spaces
between our faces
i haven’t been eating enough
all i want is your love
i’m so messed up
break a wine glass in your hand
i wanna be your man
i wanna be your friend
i’m in love with ronnie but
that is neither here nor there
i wanna touch his hair
porn is poetry
when you look at me
my legs heal up
The moon is silky donut in the sky
Your eyes were like a donut in your eyes
And I noticed you didn’t change the sheets since last time
Thick saliva, curdled milk, it’s been three hours and I’m swoony-eyed still
These beautiful mustardy couples with mustard legs
Eating salt on bread, and peppered eggs
Everybody has pursed lips
Everybody’s dressed so hip
The happy sky sings drip, drip drop, drip
My heart stops and the record skips
This is a really great bridge
No, this is a really great bridge
A big brave dog smiles at me
Through blustery rueful avenue full of people
And he cannot see the moon, a silky donut in the sky
Your eyes were like a donut sleeping in your eyes
And I saw the daybreak and I saw this strange green light
And I left him at the café this morning
And I walked to the train, and I felt pretty strange
Then I came home, and I wore a stranger’s shirt to therapy
What does it mean?
Sparkly… wizard
i don’t know you any longer than i already have
i don’t know you any longer than i should have
your brown lips on my round neck i don’t think about it any more but i did
i prescribe a darker substance when i’m feeling sad
you taught me everything i know about painting on the floor
i don’t know you anymore
the times you fell asleep in my twin bed
and the sad people cackle cause they don’t understand
they can’t live between our hands
they can’t see what’s in the bath
and the milk they drank
ronnie & frank
and the ways driving around together changes everything
long thin monster single
(November 17, 2011)
"im sorry that i havent kissed you yet, i havent brushed my teeth ive been smokin cigarettes all day," i said "i dont care" and we went to the part of the park where we could find some trouble
& owen said leave him alone and i said leave ME alone
and owen said i shoulda known and i said i shoulda known
long thin monster way up close to me on the coney island beach which is where you chose to be... but when you're catcalled you cant resist and when you got me drunk i tried to kiss you
& owen said leave him alone and i said leave me alone
and owen said i shoulda known and i said somethin else
yellow single
(November 17, 2011)
when i painted his toenails, i kissed his feet
and i remembered you said “you’re something special to me”
well you know i’ll never make you feel guilty
when i went down the stairs you thought you hadn’t kissed me
you said “baby your hair and lips are the same color”
but i know you were mixing me up with another kid
which girl do you love you know you cant love them all
when i’m falling in love i’d like to see inside your brain again
frantic night
moon is bright
silent fight
red and white
what can i say
to make you go away
what can i start to make you
break my heart
i painted his toenails, i kissed his feet
and i remembered you said “you’re something special to me” by the shaggs
well you know it i’ll never make you feel guilty
when i went down the stairs you thought you hadn’t kissed me
running around
sky hits the ground
don’t talk about issues
wipe stoned eyes with tissues
you said “baby your hair and lips are the same color”
but i know you were mixing me up with another
kid, which girl do you love you know you cant love them all!
when i’m falling in love i’d like to see inside your brain again
i've never been in love before baby, pretend i'm slick
(October 29, 2011)
hello this is ingrid superstar and i’m here to tell you a little story
once upon a time there was a very small man
he liked. to sit. in my kitchen.
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be
if infinity infinities were made
would there be a pattern that never came?
got a crippling cough and it’s all your fault
you think you’re so tough
do i mean anything at all?
i asked you am i gonna get sick now
you said it’s the winter you’re gonna get sick anyhow
wanna hold hands and watch tv?
wanna get high and make drawings with me?
the street cut up my arm
skateboard driveway harm
i’ll be your zoloft
why won’t you look me in the eyes if you’re so tough?
you read too much
life is long and love is short
played me like i was a sport
baby take me out to court
honey what you waiting for?
dead squirrel ft vitti
dead squirrel that we didn’t find
stuck itself into my mind
walked myself around the street
now i got some tired feet
while you were asleep
tried to creep into your dreams
while i was up there
tried to change your chemistry
you’re disinterested
i wanna live in your head
you never look inside of me
you don’t like what you’ll see
i like what i saw
inside your thoughts
won’t you let me in
i wanna feel your sin
twist and turn in ur bed
stay awake instead
under eyes are so red
all the lies i get fed
i liked what i saw
inside your thoughts
won’t you let me in
i wanna be your sin
stoned and curious
feeling like a mess
top off drink a beer
ruined my career
you got me thinking
love is calculated
when was the last time
you masturbated?
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be
everybody’s trying to make amends
some people just aren’t such good friends
everybody’s crowded around computers
friend her on facebook like you fuckin’ knew her
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be
our bodies are each other’s galaxies
but his love is a fallacy
oh i don’t wanna be seventeen
nobody that old can ever love me
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be seventeen anymore
i don’t wanna be
coffee tastes like poison and i think that you’re annoying
and i wanna go to bed and i think i hurt my head
and anxieties are growing and i think i should get going
and i look into your head i wish i were home instead
and i fall into the grass and i don’t mean to be crass but we should go
i just wanna be a grownup too tell me everything you do and lets go
tell me everything you think silly boy stands at the sink and we should go
oh take my head up for a drink let him write all that i sing now lets go
going away
no use to stay
friendship is gay
what can i say
planning ahead
come in my bed
eyes are all red
your eyes instead
i've never been in love before baby, pretend i'm slick
friday night
feels alright
cute boy drink
talk to shrink
cute boy whiskey
will he kiss me
whats your name
writhe in shame
how about it
do you doubt it
bruises on
your neck of necks
in the park
what’s gonna happen next
how’s it possible
that the word logical
is in biological
candy corn chain
feels the same
black cat fame
what’s your name/what a shame
skinned elbow = now you're cool
(October 10, 2011)
lee ufon at the guggenheim (mommy leads)
existence is a point and life is a line
i’ll pretend to be yours if you’ll pretend to be mine
when i get lost i get hard to find
when i get lost i think i lost my mind
(crying in front of computer screen think about rape what does it mean?)
existence is a point and life is a line
i’ll pretend to be yours if you’ll pretend to be mine
(im supposed to be yours if you’re supposed to be mine)
when i get lost i get hard to find
& when i get lost i think i lost my mind
dog park with david
bark bark bark woof ooooooo
my new haircut don’t mean nothing (nothing)
til you push your fat fingers through it (through it)
for all you know i’m bluffing
but for all you know you blew it
(when lovers cry)
i am waiting to be your friend
(they close their eyes)
tell me when this liminal state will end
i’m not tired i just wanna be under covers
i’m not sleeping i’m just thinking about past lovers
everyone’s tired in the winter
everyone loves her but he kissed her
oooooh
haven’t you heard? i got a new space heater
change the temperature of your body next to mine
haven’t you heard? i got a brand new space heater
it stands still or it oscillates from side to side
country dog talk to me
under smog walk with me
wrestle match on the lawn
down the hatch now we’re gone
doggie do what doggie don’t
doggie will cause doggie won’t
doggie why do you cry
your hips are bad but so am i
country dog talk to me
under smog understand me
wrestling match on the lawn
down the hatch now you’re gone
your hands on my hips weigh like dumbbells
your lips to my lips (wrists) ring like church (bike) bells
well if i exist my hearts scarred now
and when i get like this i don’t feel so well well well
well (well)
well??
stale cigarette smoke/dover beach/comfort/all the accidents
“…Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.”
[-Matthew Arnold]
*
i will pay you to shoot me in the head
i’ll give you all my money if you make sure i am dead
i’ll kill you if you tell me to just kill myself instead
here’s the fucking gun now won’t you shoot me in the head
my body can’t support my thoughts anymore
staying alive’s become a full time chore
everybody’s starting to think i’m a bore
there’s a fucking gun do i have to say much more
i put myself in pain
my body can’t support my brain
when i feel neglected
i know you just forgetted
i hate you ‘cause i’m a victim
i love you like stockholm syndrome
you called me so i broke my phone
i wanna feel like i’m alone
you make me need pills to sleep
i’m standing in shit a mile fuckin’ deep
compiling a list of all the books that i have read
compiling a list of all the boys that i want dead
futurism
i’m a victim
stockholm syndrome
all the accidents
looking for someone specific
but i think that they are hiding
and i know i should be happy
but i just don’t feel like smiling
as permanent as i think i am
i know i’m human forever
wait a second i wanna live forever
maybe i should start eating better
why don’t i have any fear of death
why don’t i have any fear of regret
why do i only have crushes on heroin addicts
i always end up getting bug-bites all over my heart
i always end up getting bug-bites all over my heart
i'm bad news
(September 26, 2011)
in the warm winters let’s have lazy days
when the wood splinters let’s get hazy babe
about you now
it got cold so fast when you crossed my path
i’ll meet you at union square east if you’re talking to me at least
little bear is in the closet too
she’s in there cause she’s looking for you
looking for you
dogboy you’re driving me mad
wolfman you’re making me sad
catdad you’re treating me bad
i’ll get over all o’ ya
only call me when it rains
or when it hurricanes
you gonna make me so insane
you’re giving me heart pains
call me every night
give me hope i’ll be alright
but aaron you could never love me
i won’t repeat history
you like those little girls
you went and fucked up my world
i’ll teach you a lesson
a PIANO LESSON!!!!!!!
it got cold so fast
when you crossed my path
i’ll meet you at union square east
if you’re talking to me at least
i made it through the wilderness
somehow i made it through
didn’t know lost i was until i found you
i was beat, incomplete
i’d been had, i was sad & blue
but you made me feel yea you made me feel
shiny and new
like a virgin
touched for the very first time
like a virgin
when your heart beats next to mine
gonna give you all my love boy
my fear is fading fast
been saving it all for you cause only love can last
you’re so fine
and you’re mine
made me strong, yeah, you make me bold
oh your love thawed out yea
your love thawed out what was scared and cold
oh like a virgin
like a virgin
like a virgin like a virgin
touched for the very first time like a virgin
when your heart beats next to mine
next to mine next to mine
you’re so fine and you’re mine
i’ll be yours til the end of time ‘cause you made me feel yea
you made me feel i’ve got nothing to hide
like a virgin like a virgin like a virgin like a virg—like a virgin
touched for the very first time like a virgin
when your heart beats next to mine
or pretty close to mine at least not necessarily right next to it
-Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg, mostly
relevant song i wrote biking two years ago
it’s a hard knock life i wanna be his wife but i don’t wanna kiss him anymore
i wanna be your skateboard, i wanna be your bike
can i crash at your place, can’t go back to mine
i wanna be your joint, i wanna be your weed
i wanna be your friend, i want you to like me
everything is like biking upstairs you don’t treat me right
because you don’t know what to do something is up with you
i wanna be your guitar, i wanna be your pants
let’s dance at the show, i wanna hold your hands
i don’t wanna love u but we can dance lovingly
i don’t wanna be your girlfriend but i want you to like me
everything is like biking upstairs you don’t treat me right because you don’t know what to do something is up with you
smash mouth + relevant song i wrote walking a year ago
“didn’t make sense not to live for fun your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb…. “ -smashmouth
i had a dream i let you know
i had a dream you didn’t go
i had a dream you couldn’t cum
i had a dream i was no one
oh in my dreams i am alone
i never call you on the phone
in summer we sang in the sand
you’re vulgar let go of my hand
been sad for a while, forgot how to smile
you got me wearing sneakers when i should be wearing boots
you got me telling lies when i just wanna tell the truth
you got me acting stupid i just don’t know what to do
i hate when you don’t come around
my heart ceases to make a sound
i don’t know what to say to you
it’s too hard to think it’s too hard to do anything
it’s hard to see when you have no eyes
it’s hard to pee when you can’t unzip your fly
it’s hard to poop when you can’t move your butt
it’s hard to make love when you don’t know how to fuck
the way you held my face in the light
and looked at me like a piece of art in the kitchen
the way you touched my leg on the porch in the dark
like there was something i was really missing
i’ll find loopholes in your laws
i get caught between your paws
baby you were in my dream again
won’t you get out of my pumpkin head
lost in the depths of your brain
drag me in til i’m insane
having daymares even at night
the image of you sticks onto my eyesight
crooked teeth way up close to me
by the beach where you chose to be
the way you held my face in the light
and looked at me like a piece of art in the kitchen
the way you touched my leg on the porch in the dark
like there was something i was really missing
i’m not who you think i am
yes you are
i don’t wanna be your friend
gimme a ride in your car
I'm gonna wait til the midnight hour
That's when my love come tumbling down
I'm gonna wait til the midnight hour
When there’s no one else around
I'm gonna take you, boy, and hold you
And do all things I told you, in the midnight hour
Yes I am, yes I am in the midnight hour
I'm gonna wait til the stars come out
And see that twinkle in your eyes
I'm gonna wait til the midnight hour
That's when my love begins to shine
You're the only boy I know that can really love me so, in the midnight hour yea
-wilson pickett
i pushed away and he pulled me in tighter
kissed him because i’m not much of a fighter
i am conflicted ‘cause you’re just a liar
but when i see you inhale i get higher
baby boy look at us
older girls never fuss
bratty boy make me cry
i’m alone why oh why
i pushed away and he pulled me in tighter
kissed him because i’m not much of a fighter
i am conflicted ‘cause you’re just a liar
but when i see you inhale i get higher
he said i love you i said not if i love you first
unconditional love is the worst
got a shelf full of books
now you’re giving me dirty looks
BONUS chocky milk idea plate ft all the ingrates
chocky milk mom!!!!
greta and joejoe sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G
greta loves joejoe but joejoe loves mommy
whats gonna happen when they all eat pastrami together?
ewww pastrami?? pastrami’s gross
reading judy blume books chilling in the tree
joejoe wants to keep
K I S S I N G
but gretas like joejoe cmon get offa me
i just wanna read are you there god its me margaret
where are you mommy??
mommy and daddy sitting in their tree they don’t
K I S S I N G
because its gross when grownups do it, right mom?
right! daddys gross
whats going on in here???
greta and joejoe sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G
first comes kisses, then comes sex
but then mom, WHAT COMES NEXT??
mommy and daddy sitting in a tree (oh no)
whats gonna happen? whats gonna happen to me??
mommy where’s joejoe? where’d he go?
mommy where’s my little doggie joejoe???
joejoe and mommy sitting in a bush
mommy likes to spank his little tush
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
whats going on in here???
i want a man’s voice
whats going on in here???
telescoping
(September 18, 2011)
she’s still excited by art supplies
he’s unruly unreal in her eyes
making crumbs all over her dress
looking at him cause he’s such a mess
*on the line*?? i wanna be
someone else’s memory
look inside and you will see
everything that terrifies me
all the ghosts in all my dreams
bus rides where i don’t feel clean
a day when everyone is mean
i remember everything
that thing that you call god
what can i call it?
a voice to cheer me on
what can i call it?
together in the summer
my friends and i pull a lot of shit
but when that time is over
everybody splits
no one wants to be around me anymore
they all think i’m such a bore
i get bored when i don’t have a toy to play with
i get bored when i don’t have a boy to kiss
drinking out of fountains
despair, despair
play me your trombone
rejoice, rejoice
ask to take me home
(oh)
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you’ve grown up to be such a fine young man
what is with that hung dog
hang dog expression….
hung dog
hum drum
something look on your face mister
whatever
it’s FUNNY
i like your shoes a lot
thank you
unrequited love sex way up high above sex
i called a million times i wanna see those eyes
train investigation stuck in the train station
meet me up the hill i'll be standing still
dirt inside the ground
loud sky makes no sound
isn't it profound
how you can let me down?
what's going on, there’s water coming out?
all my life my eyes had a drought
you took away every hint of doubt
with your painting that said “always” on it
unrequited love sex
way up high above sex
i called a million times
i wanna see those eyes
eden wood cover Cutie Patootie ft dominant discourse
They call me cutie, cutie patootie
rocking out the pageant stage and shaking my booty
cutie cutie patootie,
I'm a little southern girl but no I'm not snooty
see my face in magazines, papers and the TV screen
CNN, GMA, got my own facebook page
pretty hair pretty eyes glitzy dress grand prize
books, dolls, TV deals, Donald Trump, keep it real,
I'm a cutie cutie patootie
Eden with the showgirls appearing in movies
sweetie, sweetie pateetie
Loving the attention but no I'm not needy
Thank you Shirley Temple for paving my way
I got my start in pageants
And I'm here to stay
they say little pageant girls fly by night
but it looks like Oprah Winfrey is doing alright,
I'm a cutie cutie patootie…
henry is a crazy type
henry stole away my bike
henry is a boy of 10
i am friends with older men
jenny is laughing throughout his whole speech
as she’s walking away he thinks she’s a peach
he turns to me, “wanna leave for the beach?”
dry your eyes, man
coney island
you only like me when i'm not around
he said “well you only like me when i’m not around”
i said “no you only like ME when I’M not around”
i woke up right as we kissed to the snoring sound
of his best friend lying on my ground
he reached and held my hand and said it’s ok
i said i wanna date eliza i just wish i was gay
then i was walking around later that same day
saw some other sad sacks on the street and said hey
he said “well you only like me when i’m not here”
in the dream it seemed so real i didn’t think it wouldn’t be real
of course it wasn’t real cause i don’t see him anymore
and he wouldn’t have said something like that cause he know its not true
he would have said something along the lines of you love me but i don’t love you
he said i only liked him when he wasn’t around
couldn’t get it out of my head because it didn’t make sense
i cried to myself thinking i lost a prince
i thought to myself and since then i’ve been thinking about writing him a letter
found a letter to my brother that he had forgotten
i wonder if he forgot my letters? or if he still has that rock?
what a waste of a rock what a waste of a thought
L is for Lonely but it's also for Lovely
thunder and lightning and hands in the dark
wanting to kiss by the train tracks that spark
summer days move and the year mark will follow
skateboardin grooves with a heart that is hallow
dark boys in cars and light boys in the park
punk boys with cats or with dogs who don’t bark
get drunk and smile real broad in the backseat
or sit shotgun if ur really in heat
*
henry is dead henry is drunk jom is bread jom’s a punk
i swallowed a spider, i’m hollowed, you fighter
i’m small and you’re larger, he liked henry darger
*
what i’d do for a drop of whiskey with you
i’ll tell you a thing or two
it’s one of those times
i can’t open my eyes
come by, i’m high
rolling pins on sore legs
drinking down til i’m dregs
i’m surrounded by regs
can i ride on your pegs
going home now to sleep
i want your company
let’s go bowling some day
let’s go swimming some day
*
my mouth is bleeding you’re simplified
i have a fever but i don’t mind
it’s a nice distraction from the fact that you made me cry
i’m telescoping in your mind for another lie
i’m innocent
i got no restraint
you’re jaded and you are late
it’s a nice distraction from the fact that i already ate
my tummy’s full but i’m telescoping for another plate
rolling pin rocking chair see you around
who’s gonna kiss my tears?
everybody disappears
cometbus book in hand
sometimeboy eagle lands
friends just want me for food
or weed if they’re in the mood
the rest of the time they don’t need me
i get lonely when i get sleepy
i had some dreams that came true
the dreams were all about you
can’t believe i wrote you songs
now i know i was wrong
everything about this is bad
loving you just made me more sad
don’t you wanna kiss anymore?
or do you still think i’m a chore
used to get drunk every day
now i don’t drink i just pray
that thing that you call god
what can i call it???
rings left by cups on black tables
(September 8, 2011)
spoiled kids they are the worst
spoiled brats they make me frown
spoiled pudding makes me curse
i’m spoiled too but i keep it down
you look real good, you smell real nice
you’ll kiss me once, i’ll kiss you twice
darling wanna kill some time today
what can i say to make you stay?
i wanna drink coffee with you
what can i do what can i do?
told him i loved him and he walked away
Oh he ruined my day!
when’s it my turn to break a heart?
how’d i get so cut apart?
where are you when i need love?
i’ll be-low if you’ll above
am i being mean or is he being quiet?
i made a cd but he’ll have to buy it
‘cause right now food is such a waste
my brain’s too dead to taste
i don’t know how to feel
my body isn’t real
my heart’s eyes are sewn shut
i’m running out of thoughts
your love has done me in
i lose because you win
“you you make me throw up
i don’t wanna grow up
if growin’ up means being like you then i don’t want to
be like you” -descendents
we smoked bath in his weedtub
nearly saw myself in love
you don’t have to baby me, baby
‘cause you love those other girls, maybe
draw a bath and i’ll kiss you
draw the line and i’ll miss you
close my eyes and i’m sleeping
open wide to you, i’m weeping
we did it two and a half times
somehow i thought i’d make him mine
every time i’m feeling under the weather
i think i’ll be 17 forever
sometimes i look at him standing near her
i wonder how could i not be lonely
i look at myself naked in the mirror
i wonder how could anyone ever love me
the first place i ever had pesto pasta
was also the first place i ever had sex
i’m not 100% sure
i took out my dentures
“the fact that you are married only proves you’re my best friend” [-velvet underground]
“like, obviously we fall in and out of love” [-Eliza]
masked men in masks in city streets of lead
brass crass days pass til i pet that red hot head
ask jeeves dot com where i ask about the dead
ask jeeves dot com where the brave become the bread
i’ve got the sometimeboy blues and i never want them again
i sang my sometimeboy tune and my friend emma pet my head
The Artist Formerly Known As Ingrid
(August 24, 2011)
falling in love ft mikeybelle&sarahnade
i don’t expect anything from you
i don’t expect anything from you
i don’t expect anything from you at all
i went and got my heart broken
by just some stupid kid
why did i have to say to him
that i didn’t wanna see him when i did?
my life is a constant deja vu of terrible occurrences
the moon is just as bright as your computer screen
it’s noon i’m sure i’m right i know you’re being mean
don’t you wanna go outside with me and play
walk around the boat and die with me all day
we’re in different stages of life
i could never be his wife
seventeen and twenty-one
but he can never make me come
the bus moves so fast
my mind races in the past
the moon always stays the same
the tune won’t come to my brain
he’s indifferent to my bite
never learned to fly a kite
seventeen and twenty-one
but he never wants to have any fun
the moon is just as bright as your computer screen
it’s noon i’m sure i’m right i know you’re being mean
i’d let the mormons control my sex drive if it meant that i could vanish
i’d spend a weekend just eating french fries if it could teach me to speak spanish
he’s so calm about love
and i’m looking at him from above well
my brain hurts but my body feels good
and i shouldn’t but i think that i should
got a nice naked back
but you’re a fucking brat
don’t wanna feed your cat
i don’t like you anymore
there’s nothing profound
when we drive around
you don’t make a sound
‘cause you don’t like me anymore
he’s a suburban legend!
he was my friend for a second,
or ten, or eleven,
he don’t like me anymore
when i painted his toenails, i kissed his feet
and i remembered you said “you’re something special to me”
well you know i’ll never make you feel guilty
when i went down the stairs you thought you hadn’t kissed me
you said “baby your hair and lips are the same color”
but i know you were mixing me up with another
kid, which girl do you love you know you cant love them all
when i’m falling in love i’d like to see inside your brain again
frantic night, moon is bright, silent fight, red and white
what can i say to make you go away?
what can i start to make you break my heart?
i painted his toenails, i kissed his feet (feet)
and i remembered you said “you’re something special to me” (by the shaggs)
well you know it i’ll never make you feel guilty
i went down stairs you thought you hadn’t kissed me
running around, sky hits the ground
don’t talk about issues, wipe stoned eyes with tissues
you said “baby your hair and lips are the same color”
but i know you were mixing me up with another, another kid
which girl do you love? you know, you cant love them all
every time I fall in love i wish i was just seeing inside your brain again
it hurts the least the more i cry
my brother holds me to his side
my brother my
my brother, my best friend
my
my brother my best friend
sMartyr
(August 5, 2011)
when i met him, i instantly remembered every way i'd imagined him
maybe we should not exist
maybe we can’t fuckin kiss
i’m hardly buzzed
i’m mad because
you cannot love
i am jealous, i am deadly
you are fading, you are friendly
i am dealing with someone cooler
i have feelings, ferris bueller
do me wrong, do me a favor
life is long when we smoke together
write me a song, write me a letter
don’t you know that you’re my fetter
bookstore boy
i hope that you’re not gay
bookstore boy
i’d buy books every day
if i could, i fuckin’ would, cause you look good
bookstore boy
i gotta know your name
bookstore boy
do you like henry james?
i know its lame, but are you game? do you feel the same?
everybody’s looking at me
three hundred and sixty degrees of loneliness
everybody’s gathered around
three hundred and sixty degrees of frowns
it’s no longer february
one hundred and eighty degrees of weird
now i don’t want you to kiss me
one hundred and eighty degrees of weird
a crazy crazy doggy
with crazy crazy ears
i love my little doggy
for all his little years
oceanboy is angry
he’s got me in his hands
he likes me ‘cause i’m gangly
i cry upon the land
i’d swim into the ocean
if you would let me in
so swiftly in his motions
i’ll kiss him on the chin
nothin’ but net on a date to the met
triangle alien start to listen to your remarks
a crazy crazy human
with crazy crazy eyes
i love this little human
whose hand is on my thigh
oceanboy is happy
he makes me wanna die
i wish that i was happy
oh, oceanboy, oh why?
nothin’ but mystery on a date to natural history
crop circle understand why won’t you take my hand?
i don’t even wanna listen to your music anymore
derealization makes my future seem like such a bore
carlo jachino was the prom king
he fell asleep next to me with his contacts in
i don’t even wanna listen to your music anymore
derealization makes my future seem like such a bore
carlo jachino was the prom king
he fell asleep next to me with his contacts in
is it illegal to dream about you
is it illegal to have dreams about you?
know that i’m feeble if i’m here without you
in yr dreams
(July 24, 2011)
for saying i helped you grow up, for being horrible to me,
for ruining a year, and then now, thank you for being sweet to me,
for letting me realize that although my year was ruined, my life wasn’t
“mid-july again” you said
and that’s just exactly what i said
i’m standing on your bridge, you’re drinking in your fridge
we’re lying on my floor, i wanna kiss you more
they all sleep on my ground, around and all around
so many of you to be found, but this one makes a sound
i wanna be angry, i wanna be on fire, i wanna be happy, i just wanna be tired
i wanna be jealous, i wanna be stupid, i wanna be restless, i’m just a stupid blue kid
everybody makes mistakes, but you make ‘em so much
everybody’s heart sometimes aches, but mine aches at the touch
sorry if i’m driving you wild, i just forgot how to fucking smile
i don’t love him anymore that much, but i’ll touch anything he’s touched
an open letter to whoever: doing the deed, sowing the seed, now there’s a kid, new thing to feed
yesterday i saw the boy who i first loved
today i saw the boy who i first f*cked
life is really fun, run around my loaded gun
je veux etre seule
pas de garçons
où est ton coeur?!
où est ton coeur?!
c'est avec.. le garçon là bas
c'est avec.. le garçon là bas
vee vee vee and the vitti vitti vee
vee in the skies of gree
the skies of gris and the vee vitti vee in paree
she leaves nice for greece
non, paris, i wish greece! papa is en greece, ee-grek EE-GREK? POURQUOI?
Y? WHY?
well, i'm off to see the boy i love in paris because everyone in nice is in love and i'm bored of it, room and board of it!
bye bee beey vee vitti vie, c’est la vie
he’s not exclusively romantic, he’s also frantic and brilliant too
he’s not obtuse or too gigantic, we’re transatlantic over great big blue
he grew up in the great depression, now he’s regressin’ into my arms
he’s laying on the floor undressing, i’m impressed so i kiss his scars
he smiles i can’t help but imprint him into my fragile mind
awhile passes i’m still squinting, he takes a hint when i close my blinds
if you think everybody’s trying to get you, you’re probably right
if you think everybody’s trying to hurt you, you’re probably right
if you think everything is wrong then you’re probably right
so try to think for your sake on the darkest side
when i was 12 i wrote down stuff like “what is wisdom?” in my puny notebook, i thought that i was real smart
when i’m high i talk like i’m 12 again, about powerful words, i think that i am real tough
when i’m high, when i’m high, when i’m high, when i’m high
when i’m high i think about my dad now and how he would hate me, it makes me sad now
when i’m high, when i’m high, when i’m high, when i’m high
ingrid superstar welcome to the show [opens greeting card]
i got a chocolate brain making me insane
i got a chocolate heart, had one from the start
where’s my chocolate boy to make it all alright
with his chocolate toys my babys outta sight
there’s lotsa boys i like to touch but they all work too much
lotsa boys i wanna touch their lips but i’m the girl that they don’t miss
kids just watch their hearts get old, some hearts start to grow some mold
when it gets too nice outside no hand to hold i always cry
the streets are big but so are you, i can dig that feeling too
haven’t seen you in a year, now i hardly near you near
know the trick and always win, look real slick and wear a grin
cuties play chess in the park, all the best dogs never bark
we were in a car accident, the accident was that we were in the car together and we wanted to kiss each other
he seeks my approval, he sees that i’m brutal
water the chances we’d be in the same place in all of space we better kiss so we don’t miss out on some opportunity for love or bliss my happiness comes from above where i piss it’s all about the brain, i can’t be driven insane by the same parts that make me come to you i want to take down my bun for you my hair will look long for you, i’d feel i belong if you were someone i belonged to
drool foolish clown
don’t make a sound
i’ll wear your crown
around and around part 1 2 3 4 5 6
stay happy, think about kissing
i haven’t seen the boy i like in a month because he takes naps with other girls!
careful with that guitar, babe, you might hurt some kid
got yarn in my mouth like a cat
i just like slutty boys
i like people with addictive personalities
i just want a slutty boy
i just want a slutty boy to settle down with me
boy with a pretty voice
boy who makes pretty noise
boy hurt my heart so bad
boy gonna make me sad
i been kissing the bad breath crew
and wishing to be with just you
don’t wanna have to wait no more
being alone is such a chore
he said to me how about that weather?
i know i’ll love you forever
waste management, someone come take me away
wwwwaste mmmmanagement someone come take me away
you’re a girl-watcher here comes one now
adobe photoshop dreams i don’t know how
it’d be so nice to be a bird
you hurt my head with your wacky words
maybe i’d like to be walt whitman, write the same song again and again
i brought your sweatshirt to new mexico
we’re just friends who hold hands and kiss and remember things
i’m still living in a paper doll world
i hate that you were in my bed i’d rather have anywhere else to remember instead
i wanna be close to you but i don’t wanna step on your toes
oh let me know how it goes
in april of 2010 i made you think that you were young again
we talked from 12 to 4am but we were hesitant
we’re not all complex we all just want sex
how could i know where did you go
new york pretty at it’s citiest but you make me feel so hideous
when i first saw you you had a harmonica ‘round your neck
no one’s ever alone but me what the heck
motherfuck it feels so good i didn’t know i fucking could i wanna bike around your hood on my fucking bike
this shit makes me dead yea, i dont wanna smoke it, clouds inside my head
sent you too many emails, called you too many times
you’re a male i’m a female, won’t you look in my eyes?
i think i hurt my jaw, pop
dia: beacon of light
it’s only natural, history museum, i’m always right
you are truly a shark take a sneaky snarky stab in the dark
you are a surely a lark with a surly singing stinging style in the park
you are certainly stark take a silly souly nap on the map of my heart make more marks
if i’m sad could you take my hand?
no way you could understand
birth control you fucked me up
i wish that i could throw you up
take my hand in the dream land
no one gives a shit these days
everybody’s in a haze
i don’t wanna get high you don’t like it but i don’t mind
everybody’s feeling lame
at eliza’s drinking beers
it makes me feel really weird
hotboxing the shower stall and i don’t feel so good at all
everybody’s acting weird
i went to your house one night
drank enough to feel alright
i just wanna kiss your neck
now its getting hard again
i cant stand you’re so polite
He Is Risen: DANK
(July 16, 2011)
i say i got a busted phone
but i just wanna be alone
stop calling here
heart-stomper on the loose
send him to my room
stomp over here
naked danelectro time (f o r v i s h a l)
i’m just sitting in my room, it feels just like a tomb
cause the door is fucking locked and everything is quiet
i’m naked on the floor i’m playing your guitar
it feels just like a tomb cause everything’s quiet
i could live like this forever, i’m alone but it’s whatever
i can’t wait to be alone inside my tomb it will be quiet
credit where credit is doo-doo
i admit that that songs about you
where’s the sky and where is my brother
when i come home will i still have that lover
or did i fuck it all up when i skipped town
should i have stayed home with dad in his gown
sometimes i just gotta leave
those were my happier days
now i sit in a field writing sad sad songs
around and around he got me in his sway
singing sad sad songs
i wouldn’t mind being murdered today
singing sad sad songs
i never loved him anyway
singing bad bad songs
i know it’s weird that i only like slobs but don’t try to date me if you’ve got a job
i like funny guys that live with their moms, i like silly guys that sing funny songs
ugly boys have pretty eyes, smelly boys are funny guys
all my scabs are turning into scars, all my friends skateboards turned into cars
i hate seeing you guys act so old, why do you wanna go to those sleazy bars? BARS???
wheel (ft. Dominant Discourse)
wicked
wild
willow
tree
wont you stay away from me
i don’t wanna climb your branches
you don’t get no 2nd chances
if your feelings are only accountable on a day-to-day fuckin basis
how can i be held responsible for the love i somehow owe you?
he's never coming back
caterpillar
caterpillar what a killer
bumblebee you slay me
set the table I'm not able
my hot wounds hurt me
pouring beers into cups I can't look at you enough
digging holes in the sand letting go of your hand
we went on the wonder wheel I didn't think that it was real
I can f*ck any boy but they don't know who I love
when I'm f*cking a boy they don't know who I'm dreaming of
double you and i double hockey sticks
I missed my piano lesson
bone us track "trouble"
ridiculous and confused
with nothing left to lose
I'll marry a 16 year old girl
smog looks darker from above
what's this strange old ragged love?
well I've gotten brave enough to say your name out loud
cast a shadow in my direction, man
I've never loved someone so stupid before
what a drag, what a bore
it's ok I don't love the grown-up version of you
smog looks darker from above
what's this strange old ragged love?
in the closet is little bear
she sits there cause she doesn't care
she draws in pencil on the walls
where did little bear go? she walked out in the snow
he is risen, he is fallen, he will rise again
pretty dank, don't you think?
ingrid you've done it again
(June 27, 2011)
i wanna hold your hand when we walk around the street
from sea to shining sea won’t you go to coney island with me?
i wanna kiss your head even though you told a lie
i wanna touch your hair i like when you look in my eyes
if you wanna listen to that then i wanna listen too
but most of fuckin all i wanna go to coney island with you
everything i just an excuse you don’t love me and i don’t love you
i could never be hurt again but i still want to be your friend
everything i just an excuse you don’t love me and i don’t even like you
i still want to be your friend cause i can’t get hurt anymore hurt hurt anymore hurt anymore
i name my tracks like people cause i can’t stand feeling feeble
listen to these evil sounds i’m making
i’m a fucking liar, i light love letters on fire
i poke holes in paper with wire cause i’m a scornful sun-setting child
you’re a first love boy, nobody knows what you’re capable of boy
you’re a no good big nosed high above boy, you’re a noah’s ark fuckin flood boy
i name songs after people cause we all live in this steeple
and the staple of our diet is the aching of our hearts
so i sit inside my heavy dark room and clean up all these papers
and i cannot help but smile cause my brains keep making farts
well listen here now baby you’re a baby but i like it
and maybe we could try it one more time before we die
so the small world keeps on spinning and it feels like you are winning
i think that means i’m losing but what’s the difference to you?
i wanna be an asshole but i wanna keep on talking
tell the world about your fucking stupid idiotic moves
i name all my songs after you, whom god has taken to himself, from the trials of his will thy kingdom i will be done
feel better bed wetter (unknown)
i just wanted a nice farmer to put my lips on
i wonder if she thinks its wonderful stealing drinks from home depot
i just wanted a nice warm farmer to put my warm lips on
i wonder if she thinks its wonderful stealing drinks from home depot
come with me i’ll find some (???)
we can listen to the records in my room
demure in my demur
i’d never show you that poem unless we were the last people on earth
where are we? when is it again?
(???) in the middle of the street
a warm street in the middle of a cold month
a warm heart in the middle of a cold body
everything i just an excuse you don’t love me and i don’t love you
i could never be hurt again but i still want to be your friend
everything i just an excuse you don’t love me and i don’t even like you
i still want to be your friend cause i can’t get hurt anymore hurt hurt anymore hurt anymore
a PSA feat. dominant discourse
hey greta it’s emma, um I just wanted to say how much it sucks what ___ told you, um i’m really really upset with ___ just because he like keeps asking you all these questions, like “oh is it ok if i’m manipulating you” or whatever all this weird shit he says, and he like knows that he has this control over you, like whatever, this power you always talk about, and he realizes it, and yet, he does something stupid as fuck like that. when he just said something really scary to you and it’s just really inconsiderate, and he knows, and he’s not a child. I mean he is, in some senses, but he also is like smart enough to know that he’s dealing with you, and he shouldn’t have done it, it’s horrible. the only good thing in the story is that ____ is fucking awesome for telling you. like that’s really good. cause ___’s his friend, and I don’t know, he’s looking out for you. so that was like comforting for me. ‘cause i’m obviously freaked out ‘cause i’m in Ohio and can’t do anything really to help you feel better but um…definitely helps that ___’s on your side and like… I guess, in the right, he’s like trying to make you feel better whatever and being honest with you, that’s like really fucking good, and it’s like…comforts me to know that you have a really good friend like him. help you figure this out. i’m obviously here to help you so when you wake up and wanna talk about it, call me, but you should probably like eat something first ‘cause I’m sure you’re feeling really really sick and horrible. which sucks. i’m so sorry. and the minute I woke up I was just like fuck, you’re so much better than him. and you are, greta, you really are. and he is just like too much of a baby. and I know that you want to love him and I know that you like…don’t necessarily want to change him, but I guess you want um…you want to believe in him? and I think that’s admirable but think that he’s not even worth it. cause that’s really fucked up. alright im gonna go, I hope you can have a relatively good day…(??) I love you, bye
sunshine over intertwined feelings
(June 19, 2011)
the first place i ever had pesto pasta
was also the first place i ever had sex
im not 100% sure
i took my dentures
the fact that you are married only proves youre my best friend
like obviously we fall in and out of love
masked men in masks in city streets of lead
crass brass days pass til i pet that red hot head
ask jeeves dot com where i ask about the dead
ask jeeves dot com where the brave become the bread (?)
i got the sometimeboy blues and i never want them again
i sang my sometimeboy tune and my friend ema pet my head
its been one of those summers
blinding boredoms become shudders
taking socks off under covers
giving rocks to ur past lovers
“She’s a girl obsessed
couldn't be a lover so now she's a pest
she played the game but she failed the test
she’s a girl obsessed, she’s a pest
She’s a girl obsessed
he’s strictly restricted, he’s strictly business
And his business is death
she’s a girl obsessed, she's a pest
The only way you could get him to look at you is to die
Why don’t you die?”
-Daniel Johnston (with he/she switched)
i don’t know what it means when you say you miss me
what does it mean anyway when you say what you say
maybe we can go to the show or i dunno whatever i don’t know
sometimes you seem insincere but i seem to always need you near
well if you really miss me can’t you take the train to my house
well if you really miss me can’t you take the train to my house
No Can Do
(June 17, 2011)
done a couple of favors for a couple of boys, they’ve done a couple of favors for me
i think that we’re friends but it might be pretend cause you gotta be nice to the one who took your virginity
so i’ll shine my flashlight on the sand
i got my bergman on bergman book in hand
i think i’m clumsy cause no one loves me but i just don’t understand
can't drive or love i never learned to do either
do you wanna converge with nature? do you wanna have sex?
i asked do you still have that rock you gasped at the very thought
i’ll sleep where you are but i don’t see where
sex dreams are basically just nightmares
you said you weren’t trying to lie
i can’t help but wonder why
masticate my brain make me more insane
cant drive or love i never learned to do either
his fetter is fodder im even he's odder
please help me get some water
help me get some water
masticate my heart, masticate my heart
ontology's not real and owen doesn’t feel
my dreams of him are peeling back the foreskin of life
i smile into your palm
tree sun-prints on the lawn
prince of the grass i know
do you still have that stone?
you slay me
i don’t know what to say he
told me i was young then he bit my tongue
so i left his hall, thought about vishal, and wondered should i call anyone at all
cat sadie you are just a little kitty
love is really weird, i used to like beards
sadie please come near (me)
pete and i purr the cat song
sadie won’t you sing along
naked on a bench
practicing my french
underneath the sky
i had three bad dreams about you but the first one was a good dream
it happened when you came to wake me up and you knelt beside me and you kissed me
i opened my eyes and to my surprise you were kneeling right beside me
i didn’t know what to do cause you had woken me from a good dream
then the bad dreams came, fuck it they’re all the same
bad dreams are the worst, but there was one okay one first
(this song is about these three dreams i had)
i found this baby alien in the park wearing just a shirt and socks
singing an ingrid superstar song
hey baby ingrid won’t you sing along?
singing an ingrid superstar song
baby rohmer look into my eyes
baby rohmer youre such a great guy
baby rohmer i’m only 16 years older
16 years from now what will the difference be
it will just seem a little bit bolder
little wobbler wobble over to me
baby wobbler wobble over to me
little baby laughing in the tub
remember in the old days you used to have a little more chub
now you’re handsome can’t wait for you to grow on up
baby rohmer do you think we could ever be in love?
carhart-glove-boy, delivery-truck-boy, thc-fingers-boy, isn’t that wild?
vs.
careful-not-to-fall-in-love-boy, do-you-wanna-fuckboy, pale-blue-eyes-linger-boy, you’re just a child
carhart-glove-boy careful-not-to-fall-in-love-boy, delivery-truck-boy do-you-wanna-fuckboy thc-fingers-boy pale-blue-eyes-linger-boy isn’t that wild? i’m just a child
icarus wore wings of wax
and i wear wings of meat
his were melted by the sun
and mine were cooked by the heat
so we sat around and me and icarus had a feast
you slay me
i don’t know what to say he
told me i was young then he bit my tongue
so i left his hall, thought about vishal, and wondered should i call anyone at all
Do you KNow my Friend JOM
(June 6, 2011)
i dunno
i don’t wanna go to college ‘cause its not a good place to fall in love
i don’t wanna be around kids when i could be in space or above
my friend JOM never went to school
he lives at his parents house and has a shitty job but i still think that he’s cool
i don’t wanna go to college ‘cause it’s not the place for me
i like to learn from experience let’s go to the museum of natural history
my friend ELIZA went to normal high school
she’s gonna go to college but i don’t really mind, ‘cause if i don’t go then i’ll have time to visit her all the time
tummy rumbling kid of mine, don’t know what i did to make you sigh
i never stealed from anymore, i just can’t stand to see you die
koko steals the show ft. dominant discourse
i know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes
kids these days show no respect
bodies in a state of undress
so what is left? but me and my poem
dinner, dinner
i could show the world how to smile
i could be glad all of the while
i could turn the grey skies to blue if i had you
i could leave the old days behind
leave all my pals i’d never mind
i could start my life all anew if i had you
I could be a king, dear, uncrowned humble or poor, rich or renowned there is nothing I couldn't do if I had you
-”irving king” and ted Shapiro
Jared Leto Can't Read
(May 30, 2011)
i threw out a notebook in full i. never thought i would do something of the sort
but it was embarrassing like when you asked to see inside
i read a poem to my mom and hope she understands
sometimes i just like the way things sound, too
and i think tomorrow will be good for us, or, alright, anything but wrong
in the warmer nights we are moving around, i see you standing on the corner
sometimes you wave, or look at your feet
mostly you just look at me with That Grin
i hope we can hug when i see you
i realize that my entire lifelessness revolves around every time I get to feel your hair— even for a brief moment or, a brief night
they say the rapture is coming
they say the rapture is real
i say man it’s not coming, it’s been happening all year
he said the rapture is coming
quick, repent all your sins
well if it’s half as bad as a broken heart, man i can’t wait to see this
you can’t just kiss me on the shoulder and then walk away
you can’t ask me to come over and then say “possibly”
you can’t ask to be my lover on just any day
you can’t ask to be my lover anyway
passing through all the hands
beautiful girls who make me wanna die spread over the land
the last days in the country
i’m not smiling
sometimeboy
you can’t just kiss me on the shoulder and then walk away
you can’t ask me to come over and then say “possibly”
you can’t ask to be my lover on just any day
you can’t ask to be my lover anyway
you looked at me
and said “maybe we shouldn’t do that”
you looked away from me and said
“you only like me when i’m not around”
if i’ve written a song about you
then you’ve probably hurt me somehow
if i’m singing a song about you
then i probably have tears in my mouf
remember ‘water is so funny’
it’s about all these different people
not all of them have made me sad
but some of them are probably evil
if i’ve written a song about you
then you’ve probably hurt me somehow
if i’m singing a song about you
then i probably have tears in my mouf
we went on a walk in the park
you wanted to go home, it got dark
you don’t like to walk around so much
that’s ok i like you just because
we went home i kissed you on the head
you looked at me with eyes that are dead
i can’t tell if you really love me
or if you just want some company
joejoe won’t you let me kiss you one last time before you leave?
you look at me with eyes that are black
you can leave a pawprint on my back
you follow her out of the room
you could put my heart in it’s tomb
i think you just use me for food
you drool all day i know it’s the truth
even though i clean up your poop
i don’t know what i’d do without you
joejoe won’t you let me kiss you one last time before you leave?
Couch Potato
(May 20, 2011)
virgin prince look at me
let me take yr “virginity”
gimme a smile don’t be afraid
it’s not that hard i’ll show you how
virgin prince get it over with
we’ll hang out then go to eliza’s house
i saw you in February
you kissed my lips drunkenly
you don’t remember what you said to me
but i remember what you said to me
today i went on an adventure and i skinned both knees
it goes without mention that it’d’ve been better had you been with me
i went to the museum of natural history
i had no hand to hold when i passed the parts that were scary
(sound clip from Harold and Maude)
“Maude: What flower’d you like to be?
Harold: I don’t know…one of these maybe?”
couch potato sitting on the couch
couch potato come into my mouth
i’m disillusioned by your diluted delusions
i’m defeated by your deleted devotion
it sounds stupid but it is wrong enough
let me look at you up close again in the fog
your dumb desires don’t die admired
my imitations weaken at each invitation
to enlighten another, any other
let me look up close again
couch potato sitting on the couch
couch potato come into my mouth
i’m disillusioned by your diluted delusions
i’m defeated by your deleted devotion
you write the parts and then i play them
you hide your hearts where I can’t plague them
you close your eyes so i can’t see them
wear a disguise until i leave there
i’m disaffected i do not mind
i’m in a castle you’re in hawaii
where did you go last night?
post-modern lovers do everything right
we drew with crayons on the floor
i have no feelings anymore
i wanna watch twin peaks but i’m waiting for you
i wanna do something but there’s nothing to do
light in rhode island with Momy B_SIDE HIDDEN TRAX
trains moving backwards into dark
your eyes closed you look like noah’s ark
my brain’s moving forward into light
like this we would wander in the night
well there’s still some alcohol in my blood
i swear to god your brain’s made of mud
my mom wants me to like nice boys tummy-filled-with-rice-boys no drunk-backseat- or punk- boys no accidentally-love-boys
i’m on a ride that’s unnecessarily scenic
you sewed my mind shut so that i can’t see it
trains moving backwards into dark eyes
closed we’re walking in the park
our hands moving forward into light
yea well you don’t but my eyes just might
i like the feeling we can be friends
i’m not sure how i hit my head
i woke up lying under the sink
i fainted this morning and now i can’t think
my mom wants me to like nice boys, tummy-filled-with-rice-boys, no drunk-backseat- or punk- boys no accidentally-love-boys
so crude they stop just to test you
i had to say don’t pet my head where it’s bruised
my moms mad i dont like nice boys
i just don’t like the ones who are gonna grow up into businessmen
providence left me on my hands and knees i’m bleeding
providence if you moved with me here it’d be so easy
the landlord LOVES restaurants!
(May 16, 2011)
i walk around
you do it the first time
you do it the second time ‘cause it was ok the first time
you do it a third time ‘cause it was fun the first two times
then you do it all the time ‘cause it was fun all the other times
how’d you do it the first time?
and then you did it a second time…
and it was ok ‘cause you did it the first two times: so you did it a third time,
and a fourth time, and a fifth time, all the fuckin’ time
they always realize i'm too young
saw a cockroach on the stairs but it was dead
look at you kid you’re so little you said
i thought to myself inside my head
that when i see you i turn red
i do the thing what i did to you
i do that funny thing that i do
ooooh
shit about fuck
(May 1, 2011)
penis pump on your head
weiners hump on your bed
cocks that bump in the dead of night of night
pussies sit on your face
vadges spray you with mace
cunts that move at their own pace own pace
hi my name is christopher robin and this is my friend POOH
i’m supposed to be mad but i wanna kiss you so bad
you lean into me, i lean away
you lean in again, i have something to say
but it gets caught in my throat caught in my throat caught in my throat
i was so surprised when i found out you lied
wanted to call you a freak but when i tried to speak
my speech got caught in my throat caught in my throat caught in my throat
i walked away like a sheep
you shaved your face i looked at you and fell
the handsomeness was blinding me
but i couldn’t bring myself to yell
‘cause it was caught in my throat caught in my throat
how could you live with yourself if you broke someones heart
if you kiss her, take a picture, she’s older than me
hey jungle boy come on over here
hey chocolate boy come on over here
i hate deodorant it sticks my armpit hair to my skin
i hate deodorant it sticks my armpit hair
i hate deodorant it makes me smell like an old lady
i hate deodorant it makes me smell really old
i wanna smell like adventure, i wanna sweat like the summer
i wanna smell like adventure, i wanna smell really cool
fuckin a
i don’t have eyedrops i don’t have eyes in the spring
i don’t have allergies i don’t have weak knees in the spring
this time last year i had them, but now they’re gone
when you were here i had them, but now i’m fine
i don’t have allergies ‘cause they went away
i don’t have weak knees but i haven’t got a heart today
suckups vs. lovers
(April 20, 2011)
that boy he broke my heart
that boy he tears me apart
i got drunk so i couldn’t see
that boy who tortures me
its nice when you’re nice to me its nice
i look you and you look at me and its rice
i’m wearing my chinese hat, you’re wearing your baseball cap and everything’s nice
things get bad when you try to start a fight
it isn’t fair that we have to keep on the light
i read a book to the cat, you closed the door that was that, everything’s fine
you wanna a make a sun-print on the moon
i see you and trip like the sun and swoon
everything’s getting good now
you put Dylan on and i start to cry
you ask me why but i won’t tell you why
you said not to say his name to you well what am i supposed to do but sigh
the sun is here and everyone is smiley
you think you can run fast so i say try me
the warm weather is near, everyone’s happy here, everything’s rice
i’m bored, i’m room and board, i’m board game
i’m boarding up the house, i’m boring
my mouth is bleeding, my wrists are eating, my feet are leaving, and mind is staying here
"Hey hey hey, the end is near!
On a good day,
you can see the end from here.
But I won't turn back, now,
though the way is clear;
I will stay for the remainder."
-Joanna Newsom, On A Good Day
**
I want to use my knife on a girl like you (to the tune of Girl Like You by The Troggs)
on the spot with the computer screaming
emma: “’you are supposed to like me, aren’t you?’
oh my god it breaks my heart. jesus christ . jfc greta”
this park was full of people i used to know
but now its empty with memory
i used to walk here with my friend
i once sat on this bench
now my heart is almost empty/full
it’s running out of breath/disc space
where will all these memories go
maybe i’ll find them again one day in space/my brain
i don’t feel empathetic for the kids i leave behind
‘cause i didn’t really loved them, though i’m always on their mind
they should’ve known on their own when i said love things i lied
‘cause i was always high
i take em out on dates and i drive them all around
but when it gets too late i send them home all by themselves
i go to their parents house, and i eat pie in their kitchen
and when the lights go out in their dark room i try to kiss them
people think it’s creepy but i’m not a creepy person
i say “i shaved my face just for you” and then them that i missed them
they think somethings wrong with my brain
but i just want to be happy so i treat all girls the same
its ingrid baby and you can give me a call
scatman crothers asked me what my name was
i said i live in a gas station not very far
scatman crothers asked me what my neighborhood was
i said it’s ingrid, baby and you can give me a call
fuckups vs lovers///suckups vs lovers
every time i stare at you, your eyes are closed
it’s not hard not to kiss his brown-nose
but it’s hard not to kiss your brown lips
i don’t know how to cry, busy throwing a fit
i can’t find air to breathe cause i’m swallowed in it
are you following me cause i’m walking in shit
i remember when you parked your car while i walked my dog
you said “everyone has their ave maria” well you were my good idea
i denounce love, but never That weather
reverted to older days, ain’t nothing orderly about her
**
“i just wanna be a kid tell me everything you did, if something bad happens i’ll be there with napkins, practicing with my pledge alleidge on your toy miss america sleeve, ’til always I'll love you in assembly. if you catch me doing wrong i’ll leave” -secret song by non-imaginary friend?
**
“i really care a lot, although i look like i do not
since i was shot there’s nobody but you
i know i look blase, party andy’s what the papers say
at dinner i’m the one who pays for a nobody like you
nobody but you, nobody like you
since i got shot there’s nobody like you”
-lou reed, nobody but you
**
“and its the same old story everywhere i go
i get slandered, libeled, i hear words i never heard in the bible”
-simon and garfunkel, keep the customer satisfied
opening a box, trying to open a box, it’s really hard to open this box, but i opened the box, what is inside the box, whoa it was $33.48, what’s in the box, i like this box, what to make out of this box
Sunrise Over Interpositioned Buildings
(April 11, 2011)
hotheaded ft dominant discourse
got a hot-headed fool in my arms
warm blood in the brain never caused no harm
you’re smiling and i’m dying
you’re crying you’re smiling
got a hot-headed fool in my arms
warm blood in the brain never caused no harm
"Ojos azules no llores
Lloraras cuando me vaya"
-Ojos azules by Gilberto Rojas Enriquez
henry ii (you didnt do nothin wrong)
she was just a dog
now her body's gone
so what is left? but me and my poem
i went to the show
he didnt look at me
i didnt look at him i was too drum to see
breakfast
stars growing on my ceiling
im awake but i still think im dreaming
rectangle of stars right above my head
i like to think im alive but i might be dead
he defines unrest
alien dreams in my chest
he haunts me with a LETTER
"you're a good lady" is what he says
lunch
sunprints on the lawn
he wrote me a song
i wrote him a million songs
i know what i did wrong
kids these days show no respect
bodies in a state of undress
so what is left? but me and my POEM
dinnerrrrr
dinnah
I could kiss you on the elbows if you’d let me
hey ghost boy
here’s everything i ever wanted to say to you
in a moment of clarity
why do i like them?
‘cause they’ve got pathos
oh they’ve got pathos
they can't take that away from me
“The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No no they can't take that away from me
The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No no they can't take that away from me
We may never never meet again
On the bumpy road to love
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of
The way you hold your knife
The way we danced til three
The way you've changed my life
No no they can't take that away from me”
-george & ira gershwin
yea totally
im not the girl who misses much im not the bunny with the velvet touch you're not so funny with your velvet hair we're not rabbits so why do i care?
lord tanamo springtime bullSHIT! ft princess poopekanya
“You belong to my heart
Now and forever
And our love had it's start so long ago
We were gathering stars while a million guitars played our love song
When I said "I love you", every beat of my heart said it, too”
-Lord Tanamo, you belong to my heart
well i get self destructive when i get yelled at, i’m still a kid, i’m not a kid
it’s april, it’s been a year, i’m not tough, you’ve seen me cry
fun funny and grand in the days i let you hold my hand
how dare you lay on my ground and relate to me?
that boy who broke my heart this boy who teared me apart
i got drunk so i couldn’t see that child who tortures me
fun funny and grand in the days i let you hold my hand
sometimes i wonder do you still think about my brea(s)ths ever
looking for a tune
still can’t find one
it’s april it’s june
still haven’t found one
i need a tune but you took all the tunes
bonus track v. ojos azules no llores by ema
“Ojos azules no llores
No llores ni te enamores
Ojos azules no llores
No llores ni te enamores
Lloraras cuando me vaya
Cuando remedio no haya
Lloraras cuando me vaya
Cuando remedio no haya”
-Ojos azules by Gilberto Rojas Enriquez
brown cow chockmilk (patterns)
(April 1, 2011)
you’re right i shouldn’t be alone
i wanna sit online chatting til dawn / I wanna sit on my chinatown throne
i cut off all my hair cause sometimes i get scared
write songs about my pee
but you’ll never look at me
i’ll always remember to do everything right
i’m sorry but you can’t make me come
st. kids, gameboys, a voicemail, an ohara excerpt
“hey i’m falling asleep but i just wanted to let you know that you are perfect. i just listened to around and around and how could anybody so perfect who makes music so fucking…such fucking incredible music ever feel confused or unsure of what they’re doing. nothing you can do is wrong. ok good i’m glad you understand. bye.” -emma
“What is it that attracts one to one? Mystery?
I think of you in Paris with a red beard, a
theological student; in London talking to a friend
who lunched with Dowager Queen Mary and offered
her his last cigarette; in Los Angeles shopping
at the Supermarket; on Mount Shasta, looking…
above all on Mount Shasta in your unknown youth
and photograph.
And then the way you straighten
people out. How ambitious you are! And that you’re
a painter is a great satisfaction, too. You know how
I feel about painters.”
- Frank O’Hara, from JOHN BUTTON BIRTHDAY
babys birthday [was a long time ago]
baby’s got a brand new birthday party
and i just can’t wait to tell him i’m sorry
i wonder if he’ll remind me of myself
i sure hope not, that’d be depressing as hell
I wonder if you’ll feel pretty about me
when i’m 35 or even 23
and i just wish i could be a kid til he is
and i just wish that i could always re-live this
and the night before my 16th birthday
i had a dream everything was growing away
saw she’d grown 4 feet when i looked in the mirror
and i really didn’t wanna be near her
sat on my toilet and i wept for 3 hours
i slept til 2 and i woke up and showered
never knew getting old would feel like this
took one look away and the whole thing was missed
baby’s got a brand new birthday party
and i can’t wait to tell him i’m sorry
i wonder if he’ll be a star
and i think i’ll always love him from afar
i couldn't keep secrets or surprises when i wrote it (but now i can)
(do you need a bandaid? do you want to lie down next to you til you fall asleep?
know you hate when i leave. can you stamp my head?
can we paint the walls around the bathroom? i’m the bad guys again.
i’m a cowboy again. i can’t keep secrets or surprises, i’m just a dirty fingernail, i’m just a little tomato can)
i can’t keep secrets or surprises
i can’t sleep on just my damn hand
can you give me your horns?
i’m no flower, just the thorns
can we hold hands? i’m just a sad little man
i don’t think about love anymore
bullet straight through my leg
cleared my drawers now i’m all dregs
mmm accidentally told you so
mmm accidentally told you to
water is so funny like yesterday
water always moves in the same way
i don’t know what to say to you
if what georgie said was really true
if all dreams are real then i found love
how could you possibly know who i dream of?
eli you can look the other way
this here dog will take me off your hands
water is so funny like this man
watch him watch me do my little dance
i don’t know what to say to you
hey i’m so upset how do you do?
000ld: i like you/i dont like you
i left the room and went to the kitchen sink
thought for a while how i didn’t know how to think
you called me on the telephone
told my brother to tell you i wasn’t home
i went to your friends place the other day
told him i loved you just to see what he would say
i smoked some poems by myself in my room
if you cremate me scatter my ashes in your tomb
and i still like you even though i look the other way
and i still like you even though i acted mean today
walked down to the water sandwich in hand
thought about your daughter never playing in the sand
and i called you on the telephone
you told me to just leave you alone
you wanted to be left alone
and i still like you even though i look the other way
and i still like you even though i acted mean today
i can’t stand the way you look at me
i can’t stand the way you look at me with those eyes
i can’t stand the way you make me wanna kill u all the gd f’ing time
i can’t stand the way you close your eyes
i can’t stand the way you go to sleep
i can’t stand the way you make me wanna kill u all the gd f’ing time
i can’t stand the way you read your book
i can’t stand the way you raise your voice
i can’t stand the way you make me wanna kill u all the gd f’ing time
i can’t stand the way you comb your hair
i can’t stand the way you make me stare
i can’t stand the way you make me wanna kill u all the gd f’ing time
i can’t stand the way you talk to me
i can’t stand the way you walk with me
i can’t stand the way you make me wanna kill u all the gd f’ing time
set yr parents house on FIRE!!!!!!
you’re a bum you’re no fun,i don’t care what you wear
it’s about how you feel, you don’t feel you’re not real
you just steal people’s hearts, and you tear them apart
so now we’re not friends, but i can pretend
that i don’t mind, yea i feel fine
set your parents house on fire
set your parents house on fire
set your parents house on fire
i’ll set your parents house on fire
the only times i ever see you is in my dreams
i got something to tell you, gonna make you scream
you might’ve strung me along but i still like hearing your songs
though they aren’t still about me, i’ll watch you play i just need whiskey
all the girls wanna kiss you, i dreamt you told me “i miss you”
i was so fucked up i was lying in the street
when i called you i thought you were being mean
well i know it takes a lot to be nice to me, wouldn’t want you waste all your energy!!!!
set your parents house on fire
set your parents house on fire
set your parents house on fire
i’ll set your parents house on fire
Collaborative Farting
(march 20, 2011)
that’s the wagner one? that’s starwars?
hey angrid what boy did you kiss like that?
hey ingrid don’t be angry don’t be mad
hey vitti what train took you ‘cross the sea
hey vitti wont you say your name to me
hey superstars show me all your battlescars
trains moving backwards into dark
your eyes closed you look like noah’s ark
my brain’s moving forward into light
like this we would wander in the night
well there’s still some alcohol in my blood
i’d swear to god your brain’s made of mud
my mom wants me to like “nice boys”
tummy-filled-with-rice-boys
no drunk-backseat- or punk- boys
no accidentally-love-boys
i’m on a ride that’s unnecessarily scenic
you sewed my mind shut so that i can’t see it
trains moving backwards into dark
eyes closed we’re walking in the park
our hands moving forward into light
yea well you don’t but my eyes just might
i like the feeling we can be friends
i’m not sure how i hit my head
i woke up lying under the sink
i fainted this morning and now i can’t think
my mom wants me to like “nice boys”,
tummy-filled-with-rice-boys,
no drunk-backseat- or punk- boys
no accidentally-love-boys
so crude they stop just to test you
i had to say don’t pet my head where it’s bruised
my moms mad i don’t like “nice boys”
i just don’t like the ones who are gonna grow up into businessmen
providence left me on my hands and knees i’m bleeding
providence if you moved with me here it’d be so easy
in the days i used to walk around stoned
i was always by myself but never alone
in the days i used to sit on my hands
never used to be sad when i didn’t have a friend
now i’m straight, i’m straight
and i haven’t got a friend of mine
oh i’m straight, it’s so sad, i’d rather be high all the time
i been reading all these literatures
all the books in the world they form these patterns
i wanna tell you all about what they signify
all these books about you make me wanna cry
i’m not high, i’m not high, and i haven’t got a friend of mine
i’m not high, it’s so sad, i’d rather be high all the time
secret fifth grade romance (2K11 version)
can’t get you offa my mind, can’t get you outta my head
i don’t wanna have to die, i just wanna be dead
everyone’s bored cause they don’t know what to do
i wanna have a secret fifth grade romance with you
let’s ride bikes and go to the beach and hold hands
let’s go to the park, somersaults and headstands,
veggie burgers and skateboard on your lawn,
watch a movie, make a comic and yawn
we can jump around the room n dance
but don’t forget it’s a fifth grade SECRET romance
which tracks? witch tracks
these boys all speak in poetry i can’t make out a word they say
i never really liked poetry, well i never liked boys anyway
i kissed a boy on his scar, i kissed this boy on the arm
boy kissed me back on the wrist,
wrists holds hands that touch our lips
just like you left pawprints on my back
the russians shoved my mouth with snow
they call this murder “the white death”
suffocate, melt, and no one knows
once bitten, twice shy
you lie, so i lie
once bitten, twice shy
you’re smitten i’m dying
like a smart baby would when he’s trying to play dumb
all the boys on classon avenue, sucking their thumbs
and joanna you’re my favorite lizard queen
standing with norman and jean-paul in between
and the hair on my legs shines bright like blonde
and glass on your eyes just like a pond
you’re my favorite queen with my favorite king
i went up so high i thought i was sprouting wings
more pretty than most things
more handsome than most things
sideways like my brain/
our hearts really look like that why doesnt anyone else see it but me?
sometimes i feel like i could be invisible but then
you know to call me at 4 am
and tell me you love me and we talk til the men in suits get up for work
then i sleep and i dream oh i dream i am chasing him around
i am real
he is invalid
i can feel he makes me pallid
Michelle & Ingrid's Meditation Hour
1.i am sick of poetry
just kidding that doesn't happen
who do i want to be? (for halloween this year that is) (not that you'll care either way)
"I'm taking it off my netflix!" i told steve Just Kidding Though cause i do Love you and Care
i might want you to love me despite the fact that i am
unevely disposed
dont even have my socks on
and forgot to feed the cat on time
besides, everyone else in the world is annoying anyway !
2. thoughts- a whole xanax cant knock me out after a text like that. you should never expect anything with people, only dogs. even then, don’t forget to expect death above all. this is how to live without let-downs. everything is irrational, you get used to it i guess. i could use your help to extrapolate my REM sleep. he could narrate my dreams like a french film.
3. These thick branched trees give the park dimension. In the summer, the leaves & heat added to the thick. Now it is frail. the farther they go the more tiredly the branches reach. the bottoms are still thick, though, they don’t pretend they never were. even if a tree is just a flower now, flowers are small but can still be beautiful. People are flying past me on bikes, i forgot that it isn’t nighttime. There is a giant twisted one with branches so long
i hope you kiss her knees, kiss her back while she sleeps
kiss her arm by the geese, kiss her lip between sheets,
kiss her neck on the beach, tell her “please baby please never be mad at me”
i want you to be happy, do to her what you did to me
kiss her knee, kiss her spleen, treat her like she’s a queen
make her beam, make her scream
get fucked up and make a scene
in between every seam are the hands that made the stitch
you’re a warlock she’s a witch
i thought that i was lucy (lucy & schroeder) you were schroeder can’t you see
when it gets dark like this i wish we were wandering around together
fighting a liar, lighting a fire
lucy and schroeder never got together
im worried im worried by michael hurley (stolen)
“i’m worried i’m worried
dreaming all the time
what’s going on in this life of mine?
overs calling, they don’t know my name
the way things are going i think it’s a shame”
-michael hurley, i’m worried i’m worried
she’s just a dog, her body is gone
now what is left but me and this poem?
she was just a dog, now her body’s gone
so what is left but me and my poem?
i went to the show, he didn’t look at me
I didn’t look at him i was too drumb to see
i'mall fuced up
(march 15, 2011)
i really love jesus and he really loves me
he lives with his family, he never looks at me
he looks like his dad, he always makes me sad
lolie’s gone, write a poem
lost a friend, she’ll be back again
climb a tree, you’re not with me
comb your hair, your dead dead hair
i say hi to the wolf girl, she says hi back to me
i’d have a crush on the wolf girl if i couldn’t see
all the hair on her face while she’s talking to me
everyone knows the wolf girl, they all think she’s so sweet
she used to be made fun of, but now she’s the queen
all the mean kids just realized, everyone’s got their place:
and the wolf girl’s is in the world book of records
i been walking along the river
i been combing your hair with my finger
i been high these days
i’ll be fine this way
got your hat in my pocket
if you don’t drive i can walk it
is it alright if i stay here
it would’ve been ok last year
pseudocyesis, pseudocyesis
my mom got scared that i was really really
i wake in between xanax dreams
got a letter from you what does it mean
pseudocyesis, pseudocyesis
my mom got scared that i was really, really
a trip to the moon, we won’t take it so soon
you kiss tears off my i’s, eye wasn’t trying to lie
i hear you summoning me
it’s written on the pink slip in my heart
yr the georgie okeefe to my alfred stieglitz
when i get physical with other guys i get bored i i get bored so i get high
it’s raining outside and i’m finally clearheaded after a weekend of feeling like i was dying. my dad’s playing the tv really loud in the room next door and my brothers working in the kitchen. i’ve been walking around naked all day, luckily no one’s come by, if they had i don’t know what i would’ve done, other than blushed. i’m reading a letter from a friend, they sent it to me a long time ago, but i kept it. i don’t really know what i’m gonna do.
if i stuffed all my pockets, would the dog run to me?
put him in his crate and close it up, or let him run on a frozen sea
i don’t wanna babysit you, you don’t wanna babysit me
i don’t wanna baby but do do you wanna babysit me?
i see young couples in the trailer park, boy i wish that they was me
thought i saw you in central park, you didn’t say hi to me
i don’t wanna babysit you, you don’t wanna babysit me
i don’t wanna baby but do do you wanna babysit me?
saw a lady in a green coat, saw a kid from my middle school
saw the place you used to park your car outside my house when you thought i was cool
i don’t wanna babysit you, you don’t wanna babysit me i don’t wanna baby but do do you wanna babysit me?
your heart always leaps right outta your chest
i always hug you with my head on your breast
cause your heart beats like it wants to leave
i wish it would go in my ear and right inside of me
i need a new heart i need a new heart
i used to have one but your friend took it away
i don’t have one so i have nothing to say
i used to feel but i don’t feel today
i need a new heart
what do they do with dead dogs
what do they do with the body of a dead dog?
what do they do with the body of a dead dog?
what do you know, your ashes on my shelf
what do you know, i’m sitting all by myself
_____ tell ____ that i’ll still f him and i’ll tell _____ that i still love him
she was alone oeoeoe alone
she was alone oeoeoe alone
she was alone oeoeoe alone
she passed the diner, passed the bank, and passed her home
he wasn’t here heeeeeere
he wasn’t there theeeeeere
he touched her shoulder shoueoeoeooulder
he touched her arm, he touched her leg, he touched her hair
songs about HIM
(march 7, 2011)
shelly stuart wheres my wandering boy tonight?
“where is my wandering boy tonight? where to find him where to find
worry awaits me in the night, where is my wandering boy tonight?
god guide him safely home when he walks the streets alone couldn’t help but fear and fright, where is my wandering boy tonight?”
-shelly stuart, from a comp CD
around and around im just this way
curled over toes
toes curled over
when a girl loves a boy
that’s called lovebirds
drive faster
i can’t stand the idea of anyone realizing i’m no good
no one understands him, so no one can transcend him
art penetrates life
i was feeling pretty stupid, you were looking pretty smart
so i looked around the room and you caught my eyes you caught my heart
that same guitar was on the beach
the day that he was in my reach
but now he plays so far away
and just my feet can feel the same
don't think twice its allright
me: i’m not really lolita like i say i am you look so handsome today.
“Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe If you don't know by now And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe It'll never do somehow When your rooster crows at the break of dawn Look out your window and I'll be gone You're the reason I'm traveling on Don't think twice, it's all right And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe That light I never knowed And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe I'm on the dark side of the road Still I wish there was something you could do or say To try and make me change my mind and stay We never did too much talking anyway But don't think twice, it's all right so it ain't no use in calling out my name, gal Like you never did before And it ain't no use in calling out my name, gal I can't hear you any more I'm a-thinkin' and a-wondering walking down the road I once loved a woman, a child I am told I give her my heart but she wanted my soul don't think twice, it's all right So long honey babe Where I'm bound, I can't tell Goodbye is too good a word, gal So I’ll just say fare thee well I ain't saying you treated me unkind You could have done better but I don't mind You just kinda wasted my precious time But don't think twice, it's all right” -Bob Dylan, Don't Think Twice It's All Right
Songs I Made. Hi
(feb 22, 2011)
SATAN WRITES THE SONGS I JUST COVER EM
“i just wanna be a kid, tell me everything you did
if something bad happens i’ll be there with napkins
practicing with my pledge aleidge. on your toy miss america sleeve
til always he’ll love you in assembly
if you catch me doing wrong i’ll leave”
-seemingly imaginary genius friend
new york is colder without a lover or maybe ive only loved in the summer
i get bad luck when i don’t pay attention
without you that museum feels so strange
i’ve gotten older, i feel so pretty
when i smoke weed i look like the queen of the party
new york is colder without a lover
or maybe i’ve only loved in the summer
everyone sees me and says oh theres the drummer
i know the guitar doesn’t love her
maybe i’ll read a book that was written by your hero
maybe that brings me to something from nothing
i know your brain’s missing some parts
i know your brain’s filled with her farts
when i come home i don’t feel alive
i think i’m going schizo
no more pot for me or i’ll cease to be
alive when i’m not high
i can’t wait not to be stoned
i don’t wanna be high anymore
don’t wanna get dead anymore
cause when i’m high i don’t feel right
i hate being straight when i’m high
i don’t wanna become a loner
will you be mine? i think about you every time
i see your name in the book that i’m reading
why’d you have to go and have a name like that?
it’s in every book
it’s in every book that i’m reading
will/won’t you be mine
i think about it all the time
amnesia the fifth
(feb 10, 2011)
can’t get you offa my mind, can’t get you outta my head
i don’t wanna have to die, i just wanna be dead
everyone’s bored cause they don’t know what to do
i wanna have a secret fifth grade romance with you
let’s ride bikes and go to the beach and hold hands
let’s go to the park, somersaults and headstands,
veggie burgers and skateboard on your lawn,
watch a movie, make a comic and yawn
we can jump around the room n dance
but don’t forget it’s a fifth grade SECRET romance
written on the train back from your house
my heart is broken, i don’t know what to do
i don’t have a clue, no i don’t have a clue
my heart is broken, it’s got me feeling blue
my heart ain’t working ‘cause it’s in love with you
my heart’s so sad now it’s got me feeling angry
my heart’s been crying ‘cause it’s just a baby
my heart is broken it’s got me feeling blue
my heart ain’t working ‘cause it’s in love with you
my heart ain’t working ‘cause it’s in love with you
sometimes i wake up and i’m sad
sometimes i wake up and i’m glad
sometimes i wake up you’re nearby
sometimes i wake up i’m still high
she beckons a younger you with her call
she thinks she know what you are but she knows nothing at all
i think i’m living the dream cause most of the time i’m asleep
i asked the lord what to do (something something) he told me my soul to keep
his new girl cracks as he roars (something)
he snapped her heart like a twig (something)
it was really something